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I'm just tired.



  • So I can see why they thought I was depressed!! I was pretty down that day. But I was in SO MUCH PAIN!!

    I have PT tomorrow, Meeting with potential new PCP thursday, and have a bone scan with PM on Friday. Quite a busy week I must say. I try not to book more than 2 appointments in the same week, because Its hard to find a sitter. He's just gonna have to go with me a few times.

    He came with us today for the epidural. It was so cute, when I walked out of the office, he said MOMMY!! Did da doctor fix your back? I said yes he did, and he says, do you have a band aide? I said yah, do you want to see it? He gets this big ol smile and said, OH NICE!! =))

    I have to say my back is feeling pretty good right now, I hope it lasts!
  • and cute!!!
    My 4yo asks me all the time when I get home - is your back fixed?!?!?!
    I cant wait for the day I can say YES.

    I got good news today - there is this new spine clinic and they are very strict on who they see. So I called to make appt and was asked a 1001 questions - as soon as I got the question of surgery that was it. She said that the head doctor will review the notes from my pcp and if they think there is anything they can do for me, they will call me.
    Well that was a week ago - guess what! They called me today and I have an appt on October 1st!!!!! yea!!!

    I am psyched! I hope they are able to give me some more answers and a treatment plan for the future. I am with a great PM but I also want to stay active in my recovery through any avenue possible.

    When news like this comes in - its a celebration for my husband and I. As soon as I called to tell him, he said get a sitter! We're going out!!!
    Let's just hope the sitter calls back! We have a hard time with sitters too.

    Sorry to hear the pain came back.

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  • Oh yeah, no little happy dance smiley's here... That's great!! I hope it works out for you! Let me know how it goes. I should look if there is a spine clinic here...
  • Met with my new PCP today. He was floored when I told him I wasn't taking anything to manage my pain. He said that along with everything else I am doing, I should also be taking medication to help during the process. FINALLY!

    He was very thorough, and didn't treat me like a child. I am so glad, someone is finally taking charge! Thank goodness!
  • None too soon too I might add... :)

    I bet you were nervous not knowing if you were going to be taken seriously.I remember that feeling..it's been years ( :))( ),but I remember.

    *points to head and says"not just a hat rack my friend"

    I really am glad that the Dr listened to you and took you seriously..that can make a huge difference in our confidence and stress levels.. :)
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  • Dear Amanda,
    I'm so glad that you finally have a doctor who is going to help you! I'm so happy for you! May the pain soon be a memory.............

    You know what, you may not think that you are depressed and maybe your not but, anti-depressants, the right ones, can actually help with the pain itself. And of course when you're blue the pain increases. Let's just hope that you get whatever it is that you need. BTW, I admire you for the fact that you are able to take care of your toddler as well as you do. I couldn't do that at this point. Even my cat is being neglected on some days and how hard should that be? I feel pretty bad about it. I can't even play with her like I used to, we have games that she likes. (she's an indoor kitty so I'm all she has for fun)

    Going back to your first message on this thread, I understand everything you are talking about. I'm exactly the same way. You know about my problems. But one thing that I've decided to stop doing is beating myself up over all of the things that I can't do anymore. Yes, the laundry is piled up, the house is messy, and sometimes I have nothing to eat at all. But what the heck, I HURT! Like you, I used to cook every meal and was always proud of it. I love to cook and love to feed my husband. He's also diabetic and I had him on a "good" meal plan. His sugar has gone up since I've gotten worse. I certainly worry about that.

    Just remember that you are a very good person, with a very good heart. You also have all of us to vent to when you need to. And again, I'm very impressed that you do what you do, taking care of that baby of yours the way you've been feeling lately. I don't know how you do it! So what if it was a donut? I'm sure it won't stunt his growth or anything. Just take care of yourself and don't be so hard on yourself. Good luck with your doctor! I'm pulling for you.
    Lot's of hug's,
    Jewels >:D<
  • I loved this message and I also agree with it 100%!
  • I have been working a lot with myself about those things in particular. Like you said, so what if he had a doughnut for breakfast. And like others said, I think of it as the day he'll remember having doughnuts and how fun that was lol!! Its also showed me that I have to work harder on getting better, so that I can get back to life as usual.

    I am very fortunate to be able to stay home with my son. Its something I know a lot of Moms wish they could do, but have no choice. I know that soon, I too will have to go back to work. That gives me the drive to get better. For myself, and for him too. I want to have more days with him that are good, while its still an option... does that make sense? And I want to be healthy enough, to go to work everyday, and still come home with a little left for him.

    So what if the laundry is backed up. Its not the end of the world right? If I can't see it that way, I'm only going to stress myself out, and things will only get worse. I just have to keep on pushing. Thank you so much for your kind words... You all have helped me so much!

  • Have a good week! Here's a big hug for ya!
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