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Feeling Rubbish

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,578
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:23 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery

Hi everyone,
This is my first post here, although ive been browsing and listening to all of the great advice since february, I Really hope that you dont mind me having a rant, but if i dont I think my head may explode! or I will drown in a tear river whichever comes first. My Name is Sarah, im 33 and I am now 5 weeks post adr&fusion,(L3-4 Adr, L4-5 Anterior susion with Bmp) and have been at home resting, doing small exercises building up walking, all the right things. Ive been on oxycontin 30mg twice a day and oxynorm 5-10mg 2 hourly. Tried to cut out one of my two hour doses this week but ended up in agony so am just about keeping my pain under control, but if I increase my activity im in absoloute agony, which is hard for me as Ive always been so determined and after other surgeries ive never felt this defeated so easily. This week has got worse, Ive got much more nerve pain in my legs and the pain going from outside to into my hip areas front and back is just awful both sides-I thought my pain was increasing maybe as I was doing more slowly (&I mean slow-ive only been out of the house to walk to the local shops every day so far). Yday, my gp-whos been a real problem in the past with pain relief, decided to phone my partner at 4.35 to say that he was no longer happy to be giving me my meds at the same dose (even though hes been doing in for 4 weeks) we were so worried, I cant get to sleep until about 1am when exhausted, still waking up at 3.30am and taking meds, and again at 5.30,when im up and start the cycle again not for fun!
I was really scared, I know that if the pain meds were reduced I wouldnt be able to cope with the pain, which i usually can but not this time. I wouldnt mind but im on low doses of my meds, I know there are many people on much higher doses,
but maybe my gp doesnt have that much experience of patients on them. Would understand if he thought to ask me, or come out and see me if he had concerns, but he just makes random decisions based on what he thinks is enough for me, Im sure he thinks im home high as a kite pain free-chance would be a fine thing, new drugs mean clear headedness cos of how they work (or how I work!!!!)
By a small miracle, I phoned the acute pain team at st Thomas' where my op was and spoke to a wonderful lady Pat who sorted out my pain relief for discharge, what a stroke of luck that she was there at almost 5pm, but she phoned my gp to say leave the meds alone, she was so lovely and chatted about my pain and what it was like, so shes going to speak to my surgeon today, and let him know in case they want me to have my check up earlier that next week, as she was a concerned about my pain level and description. Im so glad she was there to help and shes so proactive.
Im just feeling rubbish now, im usually so positive and rarely moan but im in a lot of pain, and I just want to be able to keep my pain under control. I still feel that its early days, but my gp and others think that I shouldnt have the pain I have now, I thought that it takes time to heal from such an operation, and ive been doing everything right at home, I just feel so fed up and keep crying, then that makes me feel bad as there are many people that are worse off, I just want to know if this is all normal,and ok.
sorry for rambling.
gentle hugs to all xx

Sorry guys that was really long x



  • HI Sarah.
    So glad you decided to post. This is a wonderful place for support/information.
    As you know by reading alot before posting you know that we are all not medical professionals and of course cannot give out medical advice. Just our own experience with these types of surgeries/treatments/recovery you get the picture.
    Im so sorry your hurting. This is LONG believe me. I'm on my second time around w/ lumbar surgery and I had one cervical.
    Alot of us do feel like crap or rubbish as you put it.
    All your nerves are healing and trying to get back to "norm". The more you increase your exercise and are able to do more "different" aches and pains are going to come along.
    Of course your right in having your appt moved up as you have new pain that your not sure of . That was great of the office to do so.
    Yes your right there is alot of people on stronger meds or on more. But you have to take in to consideration their medical past and other medical issues plus just surgery.
    I personally am on 5 mg oxycodone every 4 hrs. I am able to take 10 mg every 6 hrs which I am doing along with the soma (muscle relaxer) valium when needed. Its not TOUCHING ME. Of course that is the highest thing my surgeon will give out. And my personal will also not give out anything stronger. I get screwed if I go to pain managment right now as my dr only believes in pescribing 4 different long acting meds. None of which would work right now. Plus he will not do break through pain meds. Im confused on that and so is my surgeon's secretary as that is what pain managment is for but hey what are you going to do.
    I know at my 4 week checkup last year. I as also tapered down. There is no way as of now that they can do that. I will be harsh and straight forward with them. I mean I am only 7 days out. So I have a way to go before that month mark and I have no idea what I will feel like then.
    I thought for sure percs would work since I had not been on them in so long. ONly in the mornings they work.

    Basically to sum it up in a nutshell You are going to feel "rubbish" Or as I say like someone ran me over with a truck and did not tell me!! I feel very bruised right now and the pressure in my lower back UGGGHHHH.

    Sorry for being so long. I am like the queen of long threads.
    I want you to hang in there hunny. At least they are getting you in earlier to see whats going on.
    And may I ask is your surgeon who did the surgery RX'ing your meds or just your personal care dr???

    HANG IN THERE. This is a very LONG/TUFF recovery for some of us.. When I hit my 3 month mark last year I felt a big difference. Yes still sore/tired. But better and able to do more.

    If you need anything at all ask any of us through hitting the PM button. One of the mods will answer you to and give you links to contact them if needed.

    Take care
    Terri >:D< >:D< >:D<
  • :) hi and welcome to the forum! :H we are here to offer you support and answer what questions we can. i am not in your position with surgery but we do have pain in common. i am sorry your recovery is not progressing as it should be. [( good luck in the future! Jenny :)
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  • Sarah to the board.
    WEll to start with you have done the right thing in calling the pain team at the hospital. At least that is something you dont have to worry about. but my GP was also the same about meds and I was taking 10mg OXY twice daily. She really wasn't happy about giving it to me and I had to go back every 10 days for a new script. I know she was just worried about me becoming addicted and I think that GPs can only order x amount. Now she has to ring a special med department to order me more then 10 days at a time.

    But really for you gp to call your boyfriend is a bit off.

    So what makes you feel good? A massage, a movie, certain music? Please try to find something that really makes you feel good and brightens your spirits and make use of it.

    What you are going through is normal and if we were pregnant it would be the baby blues but as we are spineys then it is simply the spiney blues :))(

    Blessings Sara O:)
  • Thank you all so very much, its worth millions to have some reassurance, I think emotionally over the last few days I had reached that dark pit, and its just not a nice place to be!! your right sara! It is the spiney blues!!
    Physio therapy saw me today, changed my appointment to fit me in earlier, and the lady was very reassuring, and as you have all said, she told me that my recovery is going to take a long time and a lot of patience, nothing is going to be done quickly. But im seeing light at the end of the tunnel again now. Its sounds dumb but ive been concentrating so much on what everyone else has so kindly done for me, and how little I am able to do for them, that I had forgotten about the ''me'' in all of this, ive not done anything nice for myself, like snuggle up and watch a movie, or get a massage, and I think I need to remember how to look after myself as well. I just cant thank you enough, I couldnt stop crying thismorning and now im feeling in a totally different place, thanks for the empowerment and reassurance, im very grateful, hope that you are all having a comfy as possible day.
    a big gentle hug >:D<
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