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have you ever felt that someone treated you badly due to pain?

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,578
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:25 AM in Chronic Pain
the other night, after being treated less than desirably when trying to renew my insurance, i began wondering if anyone who has chronic pain and is impoverished by it has even been treated badly.

i used to be witty and pretty and a swanky dresser. now i don't have energy to put on make-up, wash my hair, put on jewelry--what i haven't sold lol--etc. i find that i'm being treated differently by people.

i'm starting to wonder if people with chronic pain are a 'hidden minority'.

i know people fear chronic pain, but i'm sick of being treated as if i'm a leper. at least the lepers had colonies

has anyone had any experiences where being disabled by chronic pain has caused someone in professonal world to treat you less than fairly?

please let me know if you are. i've had people tell me that i should write a book about chronic pain. i don't know if i have the energy-- i still have 2 novels to finish and can't--but i am wondering if anyone else has experienced prejudice due to chronic pain.

it seems that, especially now, due to the increase in mail-order pharmacies and non chronic pain people becoming addicted to pain meds, that we who do suffer are becoming atrue minority group and that some of us are the victims of prejudice.

i was just told that i was a bad risk from an allstate agent. i've been with the company for 20 years with not a single accident to ticket. and i've had chronic pain for 11 of those years. i've never told someone i'm disabled prior, but lately the pain has been so bad that i was trying to get my insurance changed from ca to nv without having to go in and sit for an hour. the agent never smiled at me and bit my head off when i asked him if there was a way to decrease the insurance since it was 2x as expensive in nv--from 680 a year to 1490. i don't think it was an unusual question, but my father had called and told him i was disabled and wanted to do it over the phone or he wanted to do it for me. (the allstate main office apologized when i complained, btw, so it was just the agent.)

maybe i'm just ultra sensitive right now. it's hard being alone and disabled and without a doctor at present, but besides being in pain and on the verge of tears constantly, i don't do anything that i feel should make people treat me with less respect than a normal person....

anyone else?


  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,732
    Hi Gabriella,
    I think people are uncomfortable if they know your in chronic pain. Or if they can see it in your eyes and face. The only discrimination I can think of. Is recently I had 2 doctor appointments with specialists. One for ringing in my ears. And one for a urology problem.
    Both Docs. dismissed me when reading the questionnaire I filled out and seeing the pain drugs I take. They both blamed my problems on the drugs! And they could see from the questionnaire that I've had 5 back surgeries. But treated me like a drug addict!
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • I saw a Neurologist just the other day because I have been having some very severe headaches since being ran over by a semi. He had one sheet of paper that he had me fill out and since it wasn't my typical migraine there was nowhere on the form for me to write what my actual pain felt like. The whole form dealt specifically with migraines. I've had migraines. I know what they feel like and this is no migraine. He had me stand up close my eyes and touch my nose then had me sit down and then asked what I had taken in the past for migraines. One maintenance medication I couldn't remember because it's been 8 years since my last headache. The one thing I could remember was that Midrin worked. So he wrote me a prescription for Topamax and told me to come back and see him in 6 weeks if I wasn't feeling better. He never asked me a single question about my ACDF surgery or the accident or anything about these very specific symptoms I have which were not on his list. I think he saw that I had retained and attorney and thought I was there to bolster some lawsuit. Needless to say I got a referral to another doctor. She sent me an entire packet of information to fill out and send back in before my appt. She asked page after page of questions and left plenty of blank spaces for me to define my answers.
    So now because I happen to have a lawsuit pending against the truck driver's insurance company I'm afraid that people view me as a drug seeker. But tell me honestly wouldn't you want to be be reimbursed for medical expenses and to have a car once again if a truck literally ran over you? I had to hire an attorney because I couldn't fight this truck driver's company by myself. I'm just glad that my Orthopaedic Surgeon didn't treat me that way. Since I literally put my life in his hands.
    Gabriella, Please hang on your going to find the right doctor and the right treatment.
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  • I've been denied life insurance because I'm a risk (I was treated for minor depression and anxiety, ALL due to a long history of chronic pain!) and I've had not one, but THREE specialists treat me like cr*p. The excuses I've heard from people is that "specialists are trained to FIX people, and if they can't FIX them, they just tell you to ignore it". I had a neurosurgeon say there were too many little problems and not one major issue that could be rectified, so he couldn't help me. Period. No other options, no suggestion for pain clinics or anything else...just "I can't do anything for you" and out the door he went. The next was a rheumatologist who was hired by my LTD company to do an independent medical evaluation; after seeing me for less than an hour for a 20+ year history of pain, he wrote to my insurance carrier saying that "this woman needs to come to the realization that she is a chronic pain patient; she needs to get off her pain medications and give up on the idea that anything will "fix" her problems". (I wrote to my insurance carrier and said the day I give up on finding answers is the day I die!) Last, but not least, my neurosurgeon, after doing three rhizotomies over a two year period, said he COULD do another rhizotomy, but really, I should just "stretch every day and go back to work so I can forget about the pain". I could have ripped his head off that day, and my husband sat there in utter and complete shock after hearing that from this....."professional"......

    I can't say how many times I've been told that I look SO good, with that doubtful look that says "there's no way she could possibly be suffering that badly".....but anyone who knows and loves me DOES know what I'm going through.

    Keep your chin up, Gabriella, and don't give up. Advocate, document and keep going; there will eventually be SOMEONE out there who is willing to help you. As for colonies, Paul is right....this is OUR colony where people know and understand what we're dealing with 24/7/365.

    Take care, and when you have the strength, carry on....that's all we can do is continue this journey.

  • first i was treated like a drug addict by a pain consultant {who has now been sacked because of his attitude}i went to see this pillock is terrible pain and i was treated so badly i walked out.anyway that was one episode .the other is a cow of a neighbour.one day when i felt not too bad i washed my new car .and my neighbour {who knows that i don't work and know just how ill i am }shouted out you lazy baxxxtxxd you should get a job .and proceed to lay in to me about being a scrounger!!..the reason for this is we have just has a large extension built and she is green with envy.she has also reported me to the social services as a cheat!!..i had to go for an interview and medical ..every thing went in my favour.and when she tried to do it again she got a letter saying that if she proceeded with this unfounded lies she would face prosecution because of wasting government time !!.but it has not stopped .i have has mt car damaged i have been spat on and threatened.i don't need this as i am very ill i take 320mg of oxycodone i have had 2 major operations on my back i have thoracic outlet syndrome and chrones disease..i spend most of my time on my recliner .i just wish that people would leave me alone.she is also jealous that i have a blue badge .some people are so nasty!
  • One of the worst experiences I've had is over at Healthboards.com. If you try to post on the pain board, you get yelled at by the mods and treated very poorly. For some reason, they don't like people with pain. I got fed up and only stayed there a few weeks. They should just take the board down if they don't like it. Anyway, they really treat people with disrespect.

    Glad I found this site. The mods here participate and seem very professional, knowledgeable, and compassionate.

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  • yes, I have been treated poorly. I wish I could remember all of the them but sadly there are so many that I think I blocked alot of it out.

    I just love it when I am told that you don't look like you are in pain, or why do you need to take any medications, or just take some vitamins and you'll be OK, or I bet you are an alcoholic ( yes, spoken to me by a PA at the hospital post-op), or you probably really wanted to be a boy, or you will get addicted and on and on....

    Yes, I too went to a hospital in great pain due to endometriosis and the dr wanted to send me home as he said he refused to give me any drugs. I said I don't want drugs, just a shot of Toradol as this was the only treatment that helped in times of great attacks..

    I no longer accept their assessment of me and hate this kind of unfair judgement as I do not want to be in chronic pain. It is a terrible cross to bear. I try to stay as positive as I can. But it is hard and I really work hard at it.....jade
  • yup, my secretary at work told everyone I was drinking heavily so thats why I was miserable and didnt wera makeup. It just so happened that I have 3 herniated disks, DDD stenosis and my Father had just had his leg amputated and had a heart attact and MRSA infection. ( and she knew all of this while she was spreading the rumors. She is PURE EVIL ans will have to answer to the man up above one day.

  • My doctor won't treat my pain at the level it deserves due to hospital policy(anti-narcotics).I like my doctor, but he has certainly not done anything since DX'd to prove his support like my diabetes and mental health.I am grateful for now, but as the winter sets in and pain levels increase its going to be a rough ride.
  • That's how I feel. My heart saddened and I grew enraged reading your stories. If I didn't have a hobbled walk and a cane, I would be getting that crap too. I have to say people have been considerate with me. I get doors opened, strangers volunteers to get things out of my reach, etc. and I am very grateful. I don't get looks for parking in handicapped either.
    I hate to see chronic pain sufferers being treated badly. Don't ever put up with it. My heart goes out to everyone who had this ugliness happen to them.
  • Maybe when I go out in public I should put on my neck brace. I never wore it after surgery and I hate to throw it away since it is brand new. So now maybe I just found a new use for it. :D

    Gabriella I really hope you've found the help you need.
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