Hi everyone :H :H .
I have been here for a little while, getting to know everyone, and learning. I am not sure if I have told everyone about my husband, and I. Well, my husband had a spinal fusion 10/07, and he is still in chronic pain
. We thought for sure that the surgery would help him, but it didn't.
On to me, I got hurt at work 10/06, and have problems pretty bad now with my back also. I am always in pain, and he is always in pain. We aren't grouchy to each other but it is depressing :''( :''( .
We have three children, and I feel so bad that I don't do all of the things that mommy should do with them. I want to go ice skating, sliding, running, ect. with them and I can't. I hurt, and it breaks my heart (|: .
I am so afraid of what will happen when I do get surgery. I do all of the house work for the most part, I do the homework help and getting things together. Brian has such a hard time getting up in the morning. It takes him awhile to even get moving. I don't know how he is going to help take care of me and the kids.
I sometimes wish things were different. I feel like such a bad parent. I am always in pain, I don't feel good. I want them to remember a fun mom, not a mom in pain. I also want that for their daddy. It is so annoying when people say, WOW, both of you have back problems?!!! :T :T :T . I just want to scream when they say that.
I just want my old life back, I want to work. I never understood the pain that my husband felt until I started to get the same pain, except his is worse. I also feel bad about that. I guess I just needed to vent. It seems like everyone here is wonderful, and I feel so alone sometimes.
It is hard to have friends too. They don't see the pain that I am in. They don't realize that my husband is also in pain. I am only 29, he is 39. I often wonder what lies ahead for us. I just pray that things will get better. There are days that I just want to tell my kids that I am sorry, I am sorry that mommy and daddy don't feel good :''( :''( .
Thanks for reading, I just had to get that off my chest.