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How to shower

EwaightEEwaight Posts: 250
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:25 AM in Lighten and Brighten
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Rinse off.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making
the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging
out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and
make the woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is
something SO very wrong with you.
Have a great day..... and woo woo!!!

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Comments

  • LMAO =)) =))
  • =)) That's why to wait before getting married before you live together. It's easier to deal with till death do you part. j/k lol
    Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
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  • for the chuckle! lol Right now, I have Amaretto Honey Oatmeal soap and body whip in the shower. lol
  • Have you been peeping in my windows!
  • Very true!!
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  • That is hilarious =)) =)) =)) =)) My husband will love that :))( I love Dove bodywash.
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