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down and out in december

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,578
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:25 AM in Chronic Pain
on the 12 of december i went to my mail box to get the mail i was shocked to see i had been sent a order of protection seems my wife took something i said completely out of context while i was in a terrible mood swing from the narcotics i have to take , yes i said some thing things that hit nerves but no one knows untill they have stood in my shoes exactly what my pain is like isuffer from 5 bulging discs in my spine ,a failed fusion L3-4 to S1 i have pain 24/7 and the drugs im on are as follows oxycodone,15 mg ,tramadol,50mg 4 per day. fentanyl pain patch 75mcg/hr etodolac 400 mg ,and wellbutrin 150mg 4 per day i have lost touch with reality in my pain it controll me i cant fix my back nor do i know how to act any more as i cant do much at all but lay around i have no appitite ive lost some 35 pounds since may this year 2008 im down and weak and feel i may not be able to go on much more like this i had said those rude and mean things out of anger over my helplessness to my wife ,we have been married since 1990 and she has been with me thru alot now it seems as i have nobody left in this world to help me thru the ruff spots christmas etc. i have been asked to leave my home in the dead of winter ,and with noplace to go id be better offin a nurseing home i guess where ever they stick men like me with a bad attitude of their pain as it is i can eat nothing at all since friday morning i had a coffee and egg mc muffin at mcdonalds on way to pain center for my shots /injections they dont see anything wrong and treat me as such what would any body do that were in my position .im broke with no place to go and now its ordered that i must leave the home i bought for my wife with my workers comp settlement in 1995 oh well more money lost like when i drank all the time to help me with the pain i quit that 7 years ago aint had a drop ,i smoked ciggeratees for over 35 years too and quit that in april 2008 al of this was done cold turkey but this is the last straw i cant take any more fighting yelling no nothing please help me if ther is any help at all let me know what i should do thanks for your time i wont last much longer and its pill time this morning have a merryier christmas than me tim58


  • I'm sorry your going through such a rough time right now at the holiday season. Do you have children? Does your wife work? I think you need to seek legal counsel on your behalf for all of this. You need to know your rights as well. Seems unfair when a disabled person is asked to leave their home, and no place to go. Was there at anytime any physical violence? From what I know about the order of protection, the first one is a temporary order for 15 days, and then both parties must appear in court before the judge. Then your allowed to argue your case (your side of the story), and then the judge decides whether or not to grant your wife a permanent 2 yr order. Take to court proof of your condition and the severity of your disability issues. Seek legal council tim if you can...some states offer free legal services for low income individuals. I hope this helps
    tim. welcome to sh!!
  • Hiya Tim >:D< >:D< I am sorry that you are having such a rough time >:D< , as far as the pain goes, i know and totally understand what you are going through :''( . You are not alone O:) , you know you can always come on here and reach out to us :) , we are here for you, and we are like a big family who support each other >:D< . Tim i understand your loss of appetite :sick: , but you really need to have a little somthing with your medication @) , even if its only a couple of biscuits :) , because if you dont eat with the medication that can make you feel ill in itself >:D< . im here for you anytime you want to chat pm me :) or come into the chat room :) , we do have a good laugh in there :))( , and we talk about any thing and every thing :? Tim i can say if it wasnt for this site and my friends here :) , i dont know how i would have got through the rough times, but im still here thanx to them :) . Chat soon. >:D< keep me posted >:D<

    Angie :H :D >:D<
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  • Sorry to hear that I'm New to the board but been around the block with pain and surgery since 04. I see the meds your on and don't see any for the side effects that most of us have ie: anger and outburst against those who love us and put up with us. I have been in your spot quit drinking in 89 but started smoking in 90 in 2004 got rearended by a Drunk and that was the down fall had Lumbar fusion L5-S1 w cage and bars in the rear also in 05 anterior fusion C5-C7 plates and donor graft in Dec 1 week after my daughters wedding, 10 months later a posterior fusion due to failure of graft from C4-C7 w BMP and my own graft fused in 4 months still have herniated from C2-C3 wbulge@ C1 and Thoracic T4-T8 Herniated to ruptured waiting to see Dr on the 16th of Dec.

    But getting back to you seriously they don't have you on Cymbalta and/or Xanax for your mental health it helps with the out bursts and flying off the handle. I still say stuff that I may want to take back but not as nasty as before or as constant. It gives you time to think about a statement before it comes out. But most times I surpress it and go to another room or just funnel the anger into some thing positive. Give her a call or if thats not possible talk to her family and explain that you still love her that hasn't changed, and then talk to your Dr. and explain the situation and get something that will help with the side affects of your meds.

    Good luck and stay away from the Law enforcement

    Dave Sr.
  • Sorry to hear that. I think the steroid shots may cause some behavior issues. Beg for an apology and get to a therapist is all. If your wife wants to get therapy also for being verbally abused that may help also. Really it's for better or for worse but once there's verbal or physical assault, in your case verbal, the spouse has a case. If it's been only recently perhaps we know it's the meds and you can beg for a second chance. She may be afraid of you so I'm not sure it will work. You'll have to earn her trust again. Respect is what it's all about. I know my husband can be brutal to me, I've said a few things myself but remember you married a sweet loving person and the day you raise your voice know that it's over. Maybe she'll take you back after. But know where she's coming from. Sorry if it doesn't work out. We're here to help support you.Don't do anything irrational things could chanse. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I am sorry to hear what you are going through. You should not be yelling at your wife though since you need her more than ever. You really need to seek treatment. You should consider being switched from wellbutrin to cymbalta since that's supposed to help with nerve pain as well as antidepressant. I know some narcs can affect people in a way that makes them aggressive. My 6 year old son had some cough syrup with vicoden in it and he told me he doesn't love and some other hurtful things. It was a reaction to the narcs so I no longer give them to him unless he really needs them and is on his way to bed. You should seek counseling and beg for your wives forgiveness. As a woman who has been verbally abused, it is not something you can easily forgive and still hurts for a long time. I understand how angry you are that you are in pain. I get grumpy too and take it out on my husband too much and then I have to stop and apologize. I do know that when I get steriod injections, I feel like a raving lunatic. I guess that's what they mean by roid rage ~X(

    I hope things get better for you and you should get into some therapy as well as legal advice. I hope things work out with you and your wife as this is a very hard thing to go through alone especially during the holidays.
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  • with the Cymbalta. It not only stabilizes your mood and anxiety but also helps with pain. I wish you luck and please keep us posted when you are able.
  • I do feel for you. Despite your meds, it doesn't sound like you have pain control first of all, second you have depression, third you have some real social/legal issues. Since you are already on Wellbutrin 150 4x/day, I doubt Cymbalta will help since they work very similar. Maybe suggest to your PM amitryptiline? You can't take it and wellbutrin at the same time, but it does help nerve pain and has been around as an anti-depressant for decades. Second, you need to talk to your PM about referring you to pscyhologist to help you deal with how pain is affecting your mood and interactions with everyone. I know that I get "set off" real easy when my pain is not under decent control; I can't imagine anyone with severe pain be 100% "happy" all the time. I think the wiring is instinctive - almost animal-like, if you feel hurt or injured you go into self-protective mode, for a lot of us that means being withdrawn, but when forced to interact it can led to behaviors or loss of control of emotions we aren't exactly proud of. Pain or medications are not an excuse for acting out; but you shouldn't be left homeless if you have addressed that there is an issue and have started to take steps to work on it either. The fact that you can acknowledge your not yourself puts you a step ahead of the game. =D> You do need someone to help you learn how to work through those spells without hurting those around you. And on a very practical level, you need a lawyer. I know you are thinking you can't afford one, but you can't afford not to have one.
  • If I may....I treated my husband badly recently about a problem that existed before my surgery. The man has been short of a saint in caring for me through many years of back problems and now back surgery. I don't claim to know the answers too your problems, but I feel I relate to the lost feelings your are experiencing. Not knowing your religious beliefs, please don't take anything I say in vain for I mean only good. I had to pray to my God for forgiveness and then asked my husband for the same. God promises us he won't give us more than what we can handle. So if your burdens are to much for you right now. Reach out to your higher power. Miracles do exist. I will pray that one touches you and your wife's lives today.

    Blessings for a better tomorrow.

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