I am so glad that my suicide attempt in october was treated ( thanks to my friend i forgot i had invited over
who stayed with me for 48hours till i
became conscious again)
and i wasn't responcible for causing my friends and family grief. Its hard to remember to appreciate life and the deal dealt. Since then even though physically i have been ill i have felt much more positive about life.
Its a shame that most people are not very understanding or empathetic towards those in pain or distress or depressed unless they have experienced it themselves.. and even then... Our culture "stiff upper lip" prevents people from reaching out to each other.
Peopletell me i'm useless, worthless , a waste of space and time ( or at least reading between the lines they do)Its hard to remember that i'm not. Its frustrating not being able to be who i wld like all the time but the least i can do is try and do all those things i intended.
i have a new supportive gp and hoping to get some answers from the tests the neurologist has done. I've been diagnosed with myesthenia gravis and CPS but sceptical since it doesn't explain it all so will seek another opinion this january.At least MG is treatable. Its given me a fresh perspective and i plan to quit wasting time and get on with all i had planned to do, so i am moving house to be closer to the universities i want to go to and will be compelteing the alevels i need this spet.
i am amazed how resilient my body is and that i haven't done any lasting damage.
At the mo.i amquite well and able to get around ok. The pain which was dogging me every morning has died down and been replaced with different paininstead. However i don't care because its not going to stop me from trying to live my life as best i canand at least the painkillers are working