From reading everyone's posts, I'm not the only who has had, or is having trouble with family. I know my husband understands, but I see pain in his eyes when he looks at me sometimes. It makes me feel like I've broken some unspoken agreement. I'm not the woman he married and the first one to say that would be me. I can't do all the things I use to do, but it makes me feel less than, or not worthy of his love.
When this happened to me, almost 5 years now, my daugther lived out of state. And although, she was here when I had my surgery, in the conversations that followed, she kept telling me I would get better. "Just give it some time, mom." 2 years later, she went with me for an EMG and still, "Just give it some time, mom. You'll get better."
I don't know whether her inability to accept what happened was based on her inability to accept that her mom was broken, or that she didn't believe me. Either way, it hurt like hell that my own daughter felt the way she did. 4 years into it, she finally got it. But it took her watching me try to do things in pain. 4 years later and my daugther was finally compassionate.
My sons are both grown and they still don't get it. They're always telling me I can build the muscle in my leg if I just go to the gym.
Well, the muscle they are referring to is attached to the L3 nerve that's damaged, in other words, the muscle in that part of my leg is paralyzed, won't work and the gym won't fix it.
It hurts :< when your own children don't understand and certainly doesn't help that feeling of less than.
Has anyone else had a similar experience?