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How do we handle doctors

dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 11,348
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:31 AM in Matters of the Heart
So many times there are posts about members that have difficult times with their doctors. Their doctors dont seem to listen, dont want to communicate are not helpful...
Then we have the other side with members that have the best luck with their doctors, their doctors are compassionate, understanding and willing to go the extra mile.


Why is this?

I believe in any relationship and to me doctor/patient is a relationship there is give/take with it all.

I would love to hear about how members work with their doctors in harmony, what did you do to get thet?

And for the ones that have problems, can you pinpoint to where something went wrong?
Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • For the most part all of my doctors outside of work comp, have no issues with. Call them on the phone, happy to help out. See them in person, tell them I need a change on something and once again happy to help.

    Now I have also been on the flip side of this as well. When i first became injured I had no idea what i got myself into. On the old boards I used to ask people about how to communicate with a doctor. I have gone as far as having some members even read the letters, I have sent to the doctors. I always believe when there is a problem, there are two sides to it. So I took it on myself to get others involved to read what I was writing to see if the message was clearly conveyed. Well the just of that is I have all the medical records now, and the message was received. Unfortunately work comp does plenty behind patients backs with their own communication. Somedays it is apparent they have hog tied the doctor in helping someone. They are communicating up front what they are willing to pay for. It is unfortunate that they let a doctor know up front they are not paying for patient to communicate with a doctor on a extended visit. Now mind you with a lot of the work comp patients also goes a nurse case manager. The doctor must split time between the two of us. Unfortunately for legal reasons not a good idea to let case manager in the room, when doc is examining you.

    When do doctors talk to patients about cost effectiveness, and or monetary monies or you hear words like waddel, symptom magnification, or malingering to name a few. You will certainly hear those words in doctors offices as work comp. Most doctors will say follow-up if need be. In the world of work comp the doctor has to release you. They are forced into Maxium medical Improvement(MMI), wether you are healed completely or not. Most work comp patients on a fusion are released at MMI before a fusion is complete.

    My point is, I think those in the work comp arena are getting far different care, than one would get in private pay. I know I can certainly attest to it myself as someone using both for different body parts. So I don't blame the doctors, patients but just the way the system works.
  • I feel that overall I have had good communication with my doctors over the past few years. Inevitably though there always seems to be things they miss in the conversation, or they misinterpret what I am saying. Hmmm, wonder how much I misunderstand of what they say--it does go both ways.

    Some things I think are important to a good patient-doc relationship:

    1. Be cooperative. If he asks you a question, answer it the best you can rather than "I, don't know." He can't diagnose you if you don't explain what is going on. Think about how to explain your symptoms before you get to the appointment so that you don't waste your office time trying to figure out what to say.

    2. Be respectful. This has already been touched on, but getting mad and going on a rant isn't going to be productive. We don't have to agree with what the doctor tells us, but we do need to respect him enough to listen and consider what is being said. Always be polite and thank him/her for his time, and be nice to his staff. They understand we are in pain and are there to help us. Giving the staff a piece of your mind is not going to make a good impression.

    3. Don't tell him two or three symptoms, let him do the examination, give you a diagnosis, and then say oh yeah, can I tell you about xyz symptom which means he basically has to start over again.

    4. Be up front with the doctor. Honesty truly is the best policy. You are paying (or your insurance company is) for help from the doctor you are seeing. He can't do his job if you aren't completely honest with him.

    I really have ever only had issues with one doctor, and some good communication between us was able to mend things. I think it is important to be direct (using tact) in our communications.

    On a side note, I have been covered under the work comp system for the past 3 years, and my experience has for the most part been a good one. I have had good doctors with integrity who have stood up to the insurance company and said "No, she is not ready for MMI." I have had doctors who are knowledgable with how the WC adjusters operate and knew what kind of language to include in the request for treatments. I have felt like they have taken care of me well, at least up to now. I am finally at MMI and I think the whole thing is about to change.

    I feel very fortunate that WC has been so good to me up to now. From what I hear I am the minority. But I wonder if it varies state to state. I hope this gives some of you encouragement that it isn't necessarily a bad thing to be insured by worker's compensation. When the system works correctly, it can be a good thing.

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
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  • Respect,and it goes both ways.
    Time-because it doesn't happen on the first visit(usually)
    Honesty,Humility,and definitely communication-it's the way that we convey ourselves and without that,our Dr won't know or understand us.

    Time is so important.Many times when I read posts of a persons visit with Dr/Drs,and I hear their pain and frustration with not being treated in the way that they had hoped,I wonder.

    It took me years of growing as a person,and patient,to learn the little I know now.I imagine I was frustrated too 20,25,& 30 years ago-going to a new Dr.,but the difference is that if our issues come on slowly,or are progressive,we(I anyway) didn't go into my Drs office expecting more than what I got,and I certainly didn't go in on the first,second,or even 10th visit,looking for pain medication.

    It is my belief that most people who get along with their Drs is because they are working with their Drs and looking for answers-they both want the same thing.

    People who don't get along with their Drs.,is because oftentimes they are looking for two different things.The Dr for a solution,the patient for either a different solution,or...something else.

    This is not to say that there are no bad or mediocre Drs at all.I've met a few so-so Drs and one that was just,well..I can't say if he was good or not because I never went back after the initial visit.He was supposed to be a specailist,and had credentials,but his total disrespect towards me was reason enough not to get to know him.

    Sometimes I think people like their Drs for the wrong reasons;The Dr tells them what they want to hear,so the patient says he/she is great.

    All I know is that I've been with my PCP since spring of 02,my PM since fall of 07(my first&only PM).Other Drs I've seen on referral from my PCP.My PM was referred by my PCP.They treat me with respect,and I like that.They don't always tell me what I want to hear,but they always tell me whatever it is that needs to be said..and they say it with respect.
    That goes a long way in making me feel like a worthwhile person..because CP,getting the blues sometimes,being on disabilty..it takes a lot if we let it.
  • i handle my current doctor by saying very little, being patient with his up to two hour wait and not calling, EVER!!! :? it is a bad relationship to me because he does not care about me so i do not care about him. i have tried everything to break through to him.. :? i cannot find another in the area.. makes me sad i do not have a doctor i can talk to or count on!! :D Jenny :)
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