Since my meeting with the surgeons on the first of June to discuss my need for fusion surgery, I have been worried and debating the pros and cons of having the surgery.
I am scheduled for July 2nd. For the most part I know I need to have this done.
Then I have days like yesterday. I felt so good. Went to the gym and walked on the treadmill, then did some shopping and ended the day starting a craft project. Nice day. So I am thinking last night, I can manage this pain and should not have the surgery.
Then, I wake up this morning. It is evident that I am NOT okay, I am in horrible pain this morning, and know my "good" days are only because I have not been doing much and taking it easy. Ugh... I feel like a yo-yo with this decision.
I am so worried that this surgery will not help, and maybe I will even be in more pain after.
I wish I didn't have to wait until next month. That is just giving me more time to worry. It is impossible not to think about it. I try to stay busy, but my mind seems to constantly focus on what is upcoming. I've never been so unsure about anything in my life!
Please tell me I am not alone with this doubt! I am really struggling with this one.
Thanks for listening... I am not usually this indecisive.