As my screen name implies I am a disabled doctor. On one hand I was blessed with a very good brain. I was always Valedictorian, Highest this, of best of that, etc. I resigned from my last job as an Associate Professor of Internal Medicine at University of Colorado at 42. On the other hand I suffered from neck pain since I was 27 years old. It gradually progressed to unbearable pain in 1999. I was crying myself to sleep every night for 5 years, because I did not want to take any pain medicine. In 2004 I had C5,6,7 Ant fusion, and a revision of that in 2005 and finally, removal of all ant. Hardware and Post. Fusion.
I spent all my adult life hearing, “Narc. Seeker”, and I still sense the Villain-ization by the Medical Community.
I struggle with low self-esteem even though, I know how much it hurts without the medication. Where do we draw the line between tolerance to medications and the psychological addiction.