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Trying to Cope with another surgery Updated

iowarobiniiowarobin Posts: 1,268
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:37 AM in Depression and Coping
Hi all. Well yesterday I went to the otolaryngologist at Iowa City for pre op for surgery Oct 26 in Iowa City. He told me how they were going to shave a small band of hair from ear to ear on the top of my head. Then they will make the incision and pull my scalp forward over my face... They then will drill a hole and go in after the bone tumor and remove it and rebuild the eye socket from bone from the back of my skull. Then they will put a titanium plate and some bone stuff over the hole. Then pull scalp back and staple the incision once they have placed drains.
Reality hit me, big time. I am so scared now. I am still hurting from the fusion and hardware removal and it just never seems to stop. Ever.. I am gonna look like a reverse skunk. I could be like cousin eddy and go by the microwave and wet myself..Trying to find some kind of humor so I dont cry.
We closed our convienience store. Just couldnt see it working ever. I havnt worked in 4 years, and going down to one income has sucked. I cant go shopping, cause to many medical bills and even if, my back kills me from the trip

. You know sometimes, it just seems like nothing in my life

is ever going to be normal again. I just want a half way normal life back. I want to work and see my friends. I try to be upbeat, but honestly, there isnt much light at the end of the proverible tunnel.
************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Ok Well its only 1 day until the surgery. I sat down and thought about the last two years and realized that this will be my 9th surgery in 2 years. No wonder I get depressed. Never really thought about it in those terms. But, this is gotta be it folks. I dont think I can take much more. I wasnt really scared about the fusion, I was so excited about trying to get my back fixed...Now this one is so different..Just pray for me, please. I just have some different feelings about this time. But I do think that it will be ok. So, until I get home, keep me in your prayers, because the big C is not known until I wake up from surgery. Love ya all, see ya later this week...Love, Robin
Thanks for letting me vent. I just know that my friends here understand my pain and the unknown we all face. This surgery has to be like the last one. DOnt think I can take much more. Hope you all have a good day.
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1345

Comments

  • Good grief, I am so sorry to hear what you are up against. Of course you are upset. Just know that your SH friends are here for you and wish you the best. I'll be thinking of you, Lisa
  • doesn't really seem to say very much. I am sorry for all your pain, for all your losses and all of your fear.

    I hope nothing but goodness comes your way very very soon friend. I can't imagine how scared you must be, but I hope that you find peace and that God gives you some comfort in knowing you WILL comeback from ALL of this. You are in my prayers Robin, I hope you know you can ALWAYS find us here at SH. Don't lose hope-EVER!

    Wishing a speedy recovery!!

    Shannon
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  • Get ready -- here comes Miss Touchy Feely!

    Sending you lots of >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< and many O:) O:) O:) O:) O:) O:) O:) O:) to watch over you.

    You know I'm having a rotten day today but your post just gave me a reality check. Bless your heart, you need a big bunch of TLC from family and friends and certainly from all of us on SH.

    By the way, Skunks are all the rage in fashion this fall season! Robin, I've got your back -- anything I can provide in the way of support via the internet -- you've got it. Are you making sure you'll have everything you need post op at the house to make you as comfy as possible. Do you have people who can make runs to pick up meds and someone to bring food over for a little while while your hubby takes care of you. I would do it in a heartbeat if I lived close by. I guess never having kids I tend to take care of all my friends when they're ailing.

    Just know I'll be sending up some prayers to the BIG GUY in the sky to take extra care of you. Hey, I hate being scared (only on Halloween) -- you know, nothing is as scary as the fear of the unknown and if you look back on all you've been scared of before and how you made it thru and are still here -- that should bring you a little comfort for the upcoming surgery. Your doctor is well qualified to do this type of surgery so let thim do the worrying and you concentrate on getting well afterwards.

    Sending you lots of encouragement :D , take care,

    Judy
  • I'm sorry about the difficult times you're having right now. Like the others, it's hard to find the right words to help, so I just want to let you know I'm thinking about you and wishing you a speedy surgery and recovery.

    We'll be here for you before, during and after all this. You're a very strong lady and have made it through so much already so I know you'll make it through all this too.

    Take care, Robin. There are a lot of people who care about you and sending you hugs, love and prayers, me included.

    Cath
  • I'm so sorry I've been MIA for a while. Won't go into my problems here. Will try to get another post in this weekend.

    I cannot say how sorry I am to hear that you are facing another surgery. >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< I would be terrified. I'm hoping this means that after the surgery you will be fine and the tumor will be completely gone. I'm going to be praying for you.

    I know what you mean about the lost income and pain interferring all the time with life. It SUCKS big time. You have been so much. I hope that after this surgery that you will be turning that corner and be healthy, painfree, and back to normal soon.

    BTW, I thought about you the other day at the grocery store. Jell-O came out with new flavors; one is margarita!! I'm thinking that changing the recipe from 1 cup of cold water to 1 cup of cold tequila would make it really good!! =)) Probably shouldn't try it on the mountain of pain killers I'm on. Tempted to put the pills aside for a day and give Jell-O a try instead. =)) =)) =)) =)) =))

    Thinking about you, sending lots of >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< , and praying for you.
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  • Hey Fellow Spineys,

    Wouldn't it be great if we all lived near one another and could help each other out? (No, not some crazy commune), DeltaLady's post, saying if she was close to Robin she'd help, made me think the same, of course we would! I know, I know, I'm just day-dreaming (or sleep deprived), but I wish I had at least a few of you near that I could help, and vice-versa.
  • I tried to think of something profound to say that would really make a difference but I can't think of anything....no talent on my behalf!LOL!I sincerely wish you the best of luck! You have bravely fought enough battles for a lifetime.I hope this is your last surgery! Enough already! However, I realize this time is quite different and more worrisome....I just know you are going to come home with good news and feeling much better! Many blessings and good wishes coming your way!

    Kathy
  • How are you?

    Cath
  • I am fine. Just getting ready to face another surgery on Monday. This one has me more scared, as they dont know what kind of tumor. But,,I will be ok cause all my friends here are praying and thinking of me and thats the biggest help I can have right now. My back is status quo. Not much different, but I think I am seeing a little improvment. Not sure. But I will talk to ya after I get home. Hopefully my surgeon will give me a small facelift while I am at it. I figure after all I have been through, I deserve something!!!LOL Will have surgery at 11:15 on Monday and last 2-3 hours. Will be there until the drainage stops. Anywhere from 2-3 days if all goes well. Thanks everybody and see ya next week...
  • >:D< :D >:D<


    Hey! Are you eastern, central, mountain or pacific time? I need to know that I'm praying for you on the right time zone (LOL!) on Monday.

    Yeah, tell that surgeon you want the holiday special! A 2 for 1 deal! No reason you can't get a little nip/tuck -- Of course, I always think they need to pull my skin from my toes all the way up to my head!

    I know you're scared out of your mind about this surgery, so just close your eyes and think of all of your spiney friends laying our hands on you and sending you our strength and love and prayers -- so you'll know that you are not alone and a powerful force across the world is sending positive energy your way for a successful surgery and recovery.

    Thinking of you -- got your back!

    Judy
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