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Its just everything right now!

Heff-ManHHeff-Man Posts: 12
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:39 AM in Depression and Coping
Hey guys i dont know why i'm burdening you with this but i feel like i have to get my problems off my chest!. Here's my situation so bear with me please!.

Bascically im going through a load of problems at the moment. Long story short..my brother passed away suddenly when i was in college less than 2 years ago, family wasnt coping and still battling to cope you could say, i have my up's and down's but have been so protective of my family ever since to even have time to mourn. I dont even go to his grave cus i cant bear it..makes me feel guilty. Just the thought of seeing his body at the morgue when identifying his body always replays in my mind.

In my final year in college and it has been VERY stressful and for a number of reasons. Some of my lecturers are very bad and there's no point complaining cus nothing changes. I have zero motivation due to depression (i think? how do you know your depressed,i feel terrible?), lack of concentration,too much anxiety about my families well being (cant imagine another one dying,its too hard),no confidence in myself,lost my faith in god,dont know what career path i want anymore..list goes on.

On top of that..as if it couldnt get worse i also have to have an operation to remove a part of my rod in my back because it popped out (its very uncomfortable). This will be my 4th op (had scoliosis) and im so fustrated!. I have exams next week and the last thing i want hanging over me is another operation.

Ever since my brother passing away i just have been lying to myself that ill be alrite. I have put on alot of weight (you wouldnt tell but i know i have), been eating crap,drinking alcohol alot (not crazy though but dosnt help).I hardly sleep cus of my aniexty and i have a slight insomnia problem.

My attitude has been poor, dont like meeting or talking to people cus im always bitter. Ill talk to people but if i can ill avoid it.Im too negative and too tired to strike up conversations. Im so tired the whole time,fatigue is so high. I just feel like S**t basically. My back slightly hurts too alot but not as bad as some of yours do people so i wont make that an issue.

I feel a little lonely,havent had a girlfriend in a while..just havent connected with new women ever since my brother's passing,I have so many problems i couldnt have a girlfriend but it would be nice to connect again with someone cus my friends all around me have girlfriends and it fills me with envy sometimes.

Just feel lost in life and i have exams next week i havent really studied for..ive tried to study so hard but when i have no motivation or desire and im not focused its just too hard!..i get mad that i cant study and it even furthers me into a deeper slump for feeling stupid and unproductive.

I really dont know what to do..i feel like im going to have a nervous breakdown or something!. Any advice would be grateful!. Thanks for listening,i know i wrote alot so i appreciate it alot!..just needed to get it all off my chest!.



  • Do you have a student health program at your college? I would suggest you get some professional help before things get more out of hand. If they have a psychiatrist on staff, please make an appointment...otherwise a general practioner will do in a pinch.

    There is a certain stigma attached to a diagnosis of depression, or at least there used to be. I think this has changed somewhat, but some people still feel bad about seeking medical help for their feelings. They think they should be able to man-up and work it out. However, in the long run, this is not helpful.

    You have a number of very stressful things going on in your life. Each, taken separately, would be enough to cause depression. When put together, I think it would be amazing if you were NOT suffering from depression. There are many good medications on the market now that have few side effects and could give you some breathing room so you could cope a bit better. If you don't have time to visit a doctor prior to exams, please do it during your holiday break.

    Incidentally, a number of these meds, particularly the SNRIs like Cymbalta, Effexor and a new drug, Pristiq help with depression and with pain (such as your back pain). Here is a list of symptoms that is commonly mentioned for depression:

    At least one of the symptoms must be either persistent sad or "empty" feelings or loss of interest in activities.

    Constant sadness
    Trouble sleeping
    Low energy or fatigue
    Feeling worthless or guilty for no reason
    Significant weight change
    Difficulty concentrating
    Loss of interest in favorite activities

    Perhaps you could talk to your professors and get incompletes in the courses, and take exams when you return after vacation??

    In the meantime, try to make yourself eat a somewhat balanced diet and try not to use alcohol, or as little as possible. Try to go for a walk every day, just to get a little blood flowing and to clear your head a bit. Breathe deeply and slowly and really concentrate on each breath.

    It may take awhile for your life to make sense ...but you WILL be alright again. You've already taken the first step by organizing your thoughts and recognizing all the stressors you have going on at the moment. I think it would be very beneficial to you to see a doctor and try an anti-depressant medication for a little while. One by one, you will work through the issues you mentioned....and your life will come into focus again.

    Thank you for posting on the board, and please come back often. Many people that post are taking medication for depression. Depression and chronic pain go hand in hand for many people. They will understand how you feel...and will be happy to try to provide some support for you in these difficult and trying times.

    Take good care --

  • You have a lot going on for one so young, my own sister died from cancer this year and we do not cope with surviving as we initial surmised at the beginning, that is Ok, we all come to that point when we have just had enough.

    Life moves on and coping with grief something that never gets easier and nor should it, even when it is not unfamiliar in our situation. It is right you need to talk to someone and that is what makes this site special in that you can do this in your own time and words. Getting it out is helpful and what are you going to do now, what things would help you.

    This phase will pass and perhaps more help is needed you have been busy and expected a lot of yourself, it is natural to have concern for those around us at these times and you have kept all those emotion and feeling too yourself, it is not easy telling others and putting into words those feeling of grief and loss. Your challenges are many and you have achieved much.

    Take care

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  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    Gwennie and John have already given you some great advice so I just want to offer you my sympathy. You have a lot to deal with for someone your age or any age for that matter. I agree that you should find someone to talk to and maybe some medication but until you do please feel free to put it all down here.
    I have been taking Wellbutrin for over five years and I don't know why I waited so long to start. I actually started it as an aid to stop smoking (didn't do it) but found an amazing improvement in my mood and stress.
    I hope you do well on your exams. Good luck
  • Hey thanks guys for thoughts and support. Looking at my post i actually think i went a bit far. Sorry i was having a really bad day when i posted that..stress is just killin me right now with exams and other issues. I just couldnt talk to my friends or family either about this stuff,i felt embarrassed.Im not the best at expressing myself.

    Anywayz after exams ill try to relax more and see if i can talk to someone soon. Might leave the drugs for now,probably best if i get some sleep first to be honest as im deprived of it alot lately. Thanks again!.

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