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How to deal with the pain and feeling alone



  • The aloneness is the worst for me. I feel like people don't understand, especially the emotional lability I am going through with all of the medication changes. They just think I'm losing it.

    But you're not alone here :)
  • I hear you on feeling alone... sometimes you feel like wearing a sign or something!!! only people that have back pain truley inderstand that it is real and it just doesnt affect your back it affects your whole body and your mind!!! i am so thankful that my Dr told me about this site because it has really helped me to understand what is going on and that I am not alone.I am very nervous about this surgery but I know that it is the right choice since we have tried everything else and I am not getting better!! I just want my life back, I know that things will never be the same for me but I hope that they are better then what I feel right now. This is all I seem to think about since they approved my surgery and I have not been sleeping much either dont know what I did but the pain has been a little worse the last few days and when I lay down my legs and hands go numb!!! just crazy... sorry to be rambling just cant sleep


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  • You have found it char! :-)
    You have joined a very friendly and supportive site. We are going through very similar, or even the same, symptoms and understand. We won't get fed up of hearing you talking about your problems. :-)

    I was also very scared of surgery. I really felt like I couldn't face it! But after learning what it entailed, and hearing others stories on here, I slowly began to realise that it was going to be the only way forward for me.

    I am so glad that I had the surgery. I am so much better, and improving each week. I still have pain sometimes, but mostly I feel fairly normal again. I would say that my surgery has been a success! <:P <br />It has certainly achieved at least as much as I hoped. Probably more! I had been told that it would deal with my leg/sciatica symptoms but my back is feeling much better too.
    If you don't have surgery, the chances you will stay the way you are, or you could get worse.
    For me, the surgery was the way forward to improve my symptoms and get my life back again.

    I am starting to do the things that I had promised myself I would be able to do after my surgery.
    That feels sooo good! Life is good again. :D

    I really hope that you will get the same relief.
    Once you are on this side of surgery, the anxiety is gone, and the relief of that is wonderful. It is a long hard recovery, but your life right now is probably hard too. Do keep asking your questions. And please do let us know how you get on.
    We'll be here to support you through the recovery.
    You are not alone; there is a whole bunch of us here with you. Together we can do this. :D
  • Hello everyone, so I have two more days till surgery
    and I am so nervous!!! Cant sleep I know it will all be ok but still just worried. thank you all for your support and advice it really meens alot to me and my family. I dont know where we would all be if we did not have this sight to et such great support and advice!!!


  • Hope that you have a good weekend. Do the final preparations for your recovery once you get home, but most of all, try to do something you enjoy.
    Perhaps go out for a meal, or at least eat a favourite meal. :-)

    We'll be here waiting for you, once you are able to post after your surgery. :H
    We will support you through the recovery.
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  • Hello,
    How are you, none of this is your fault and I spent many years at home while being asked when I would return to work, for the most part those things that we were measured for may be on the decline and we have to find a new list of capability.

    This does take time and practice, in attempting to achieve what we did in our old healthy personal we plan for becoming disappointed with ourselves in not being able to achieve what we once did and that may have gone for now or ever. We are all trying and know how difficult surviving and improving can be.

    We have to make the things we can do now, carry the same weighting as the things we used to do and although we and others may measure ourselves against old objectives, our new normal makes those previous achievements problematic.

    In the things we can no longer do, we do feel isolated and once those invites become less we are more alone, on the basis that our associates do not know how continuous pain feels like we are adjudged to being distant and evasive when all we are trying to do is survive every day. We know loneliness and isolation are factors in the traits of chronic pain and must adapt as best we can to find the new us, get the support and encouragement we deserve and align ourselves with those best placed to help us.

    Pain is my life and the future, we are never alone here, somewhere others know exactly how we feel. It is strength in numbers, accounts of how others cope and endure, ideas with the right encouragement.

    Take care.

  • I haven't contributed to this thread yet, but wanted to wish you the best on your surgery.

    Am I right that you're having a one-level fusion at L4/5? I had that surgery this past January, so I'm just over 6 months out and I can tell you that I'm feeling better. I still have some pain, but I'm really not expected to feel "back to normal" until a year post-op.

    Even though it's a long recovery, it's really worth it, especially the day you realize that the only pain you have left is the pain from the surgery and that all the other stuff is gone. For me, it didn't happen right away because things got a worse before they got better when I got home, but once you start getting on the upside of recovery you'll know it and start appreciating the fact that you had it done.

    Take care of yourself this weekend and indulge yourself. Get out when you can, go to your favorite restaurant and just enjoy your freedom. And like Jelly said, make sure you're "station" is stocked and ready for you for when you come home.

    I'm anxious to hear about your recovery, so post back when you can post-op. Maybe start a new thread in the recovery section because if you continue here, it'll probably end up with over 100 posts wishing you well! :-)

  • Good luck with your surgury......
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