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For a moment

Kris-NYKKris-NY Posts: 2,207
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:44 AM in Neck Pain: Cervical
Do you ever have a pain free moment or at least a moment when the pain isn't as bad and realize just how bad you are usually feeling?

At 3 months post-op my symptoms slowly started to return. I vaguely remember feeling pretty good back then for a few days maybe even a week or so. I say that because this morning I had about 10 minutes where I felt like my old self. Then the stiffness and aching began again. It wasn't just physical either. I realized that I have been extremely tired and rundown no matter how long I sleep or how well I eat.

So I'm wondering if anyone else has these moments? When you remember how you should feel....
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1

Comments

  • Howdy Kris,

    I think what you are describing is "step one" of realizing we are of the "chronic pain" society! I have that just watching TV sometimes! What I mean is, I see a movie for instance with folks at an amusement park, and I get teary in that I was a "roller coaster" addict, and that is pretty well off my "fun" list anymore! The "high" I got just going on some of the rides, or sliding down the "Hydro" slide at a water park. Riding in a car through a beautiful park - I last about 15 minutes, and get bummed not because of the pain believe it or not, but remembering when I would just glow with no cares in the world driving through these places in the past. I am trying to take those "painless" memories and make them happy times vs 'remember when' times. *hug*

    Brenda

    Trying to be the windshield and not the bug!!! (G)
    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • I should have known you would be one of those people. I hate open heights. Love helicopters because I'm closed in but put me on a step ladder and I will fall off.

    I guess what hit me this morning is what you say - I'm realizing that I'm still not "right". My problems came from a car accident so I expected to be treated and be all better. Now a year later I'm not. And while I'm not that bad I'm not ME.

    Doesnt help that I came back after this last surgery to increased hours and my daughter has been having ear/sinus problems that keep me hopping. I really wish this economy would get better so I could look for a job with less hours and more forgiveness. I don't want to be worse off but being in this functioning pain really stinks.

    This morning did make me realize that I need to get some answers sooner rather than later. So today I'm getting my follow-up CT. And next Monday is the neurologist and Tuesday is the surgeon.
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  • Kris,

    I know exactly what you mean. I can achieve that level in bed sometimes, takes a lot of messing to get to it but I think why can't I have this is all the time? I am not sure all the pain is gone as I am on meds, but I am definitely comfortable. A huge reason I live life in the moment and preserve it. That helps that you don't forget it can happen keep the hope that it will get better. I don't focus any longer on what I can't do, but rather what I can do. Looking back now prior to my accident only brings me down and depresses me. So I can't live there any longer but live for what I have. I always still say I am blessed.
  • I so know what you mean.Sometimes I will be sitting in my recliner(I feel like recliner is my only piece of furniture I really need)and I will realize I am not in any pain anywhere and I sit real quiet and try not to move,and let the peacefulness surround me and I do remember how it used to feel to be painfree.But then the spasms start and the pain begins again .And like you I cry because I cannot do the things I used to do,but I do appreciate the fact that I can still drive and walk,true with pain,but I won't give up.Thanks,Turkersmom
  • Don't know what that is at the bottom of my post but it is not mine so please disregard! Thanks,Turkersmom
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  • Like all of you guys, I hurt almost all the time too. I think it's interesting when we take the time to overcome something we used to be able to do but can't any longer and substitute it with a new thing that we can do.

    We have a nice backyard that we love to spend time in. We have a retractable awning and two people can easily open it, but one can do it too. I can't even help open it any more.

    So I'd been thinking about how am I going to sit outside with a good book or my laptop, in the shade in the heat of the day without being able to open my awning when hubby isn't home? I don't like to sit directly in the sun, so I racked my brain.

    Well, today hubby and I set up a relaxation station for me - an adjustable zero gravity outdoor lounge chair, a table next to it and a 9 ft. cantalever umbrella that I can easily raise, lower and tilt by myself.

    So we sometimes have to find new ways to try and feel like we used to and sometimes it takes creativity. I think that as soon as I can sit in my new relaxation station, I know my back will feel ok with the right lounge chair, I'll be in the shade and I might even treat myself to a Smirnoff Raspberry Burst on one of those hot days. Hopefully I can lose myself in a good book and forget the pain for a while.

    Kris, maybe I'll have more of those feelings this summer with my new little personal place.

    I hope you have more of them too, as I do with all of us spineys. It's not easy, but there can be some solutions sometimes.

    Cath
  • Believe it or not, 75% of pilots (me) have a fear of heights! It didn't bother me to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, hang out of a helicopter (I preferred if I didn't have a bunch of loose things in the cabin - to have the doors off), climb a tree, but put me on the edge of a roof? Wwwhhhooo boy!

    Unfortunately for you due to an accident, you got dropped right into the deep end of the pool. Me, mine evolved over years due to crashing a helo, a few hit and run jerks smacking me, wear and tear - so I sort of adapted as time went on. Either route to get there bites, but it seems that you are making steps to get a handle on it. Please let us know how the tests and doctor's appointment works out. Support *HUG*

    Brenda :-)
    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • I hope you have more of those moments without pain. I know there are times I am pain free for a few moments but think it's the meds helping me. Best wishes for a full recovery. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Kris

    I will tell you a little story....

    I was taking an anti-inflammatory once. I didn't notice it was doing any good, but I gave the doc the benefit of a doubt and continued taking it for about a month to 6 weeks. Still did not seem to be working so I quit taking it. BOY OH BOY! Seemed like the very next day (in my memory; may have been a day or four) all the joint pain was back with a vengeance! So I started taking it again. If I missed a dose, I felt it. Sometimes, I'd forget to fill it, and - you guess it. Pain pain PAIN! So I decided to not take the medication any more and just tolerate the joint pain.

    Same with accupuncture. I was one who did not believe it would help me. I was very pleasantly surprised. I was so relaxed after each session and actually had a good 5 hours or so without any pain. But when the pain returned, oh my GOSH did it hurt!

    I've realized those small windows of pain free moments would only drive home the realization of exactly how much pain I am actually in on a daily basis.

    I've become very angry at that fact too. So, I can either continue on as I am, or be more proactive and see if surgery is an option. I would gladly take several months of being pain free. I liked the little bit of freedom I had with the accupuncture. I want that all the time. Sadly, the treatments were once a week; but I just could not continue taking off an hour here and there, plus a few hours here and there for my monthly pain management appointments, AND the couple 2-3 times a month appointments with my Mom, so I had to stop going to the accupuncturist. I want something more permanent.

    Chasing that rainbow, I guess....

    wish me luck!

    As far the other thing.... heights don't bother me at all. It's the PROSPECT OF FALLING that does!

    When I was a kid, I would climb the trees in the neighborhood (there was a bunch too!) and the utility poles on my street.

    Every time I did this, someone would show up at my house, looking for my Dad to come get me down. I was real good at going up. It was the coming down part I sucked at! Ferris wheels - the part where you are coming up is great and wonderful, but each time the wheel decends... I actually would get a little bit sick to my stomach!

    Ain't that the wierdest thing you've ever heard?
  • jeauxbert said:


    As far the other thing.... heights don't bother me at all. It's the PROSPECT OF FALLING that does!

    Every time I did this, someone would show up at my house, looking for my Dad to come get me down. I was real good at going up. It was the coming down part I sucked at! Ferris wheels - the part where you are coming up is great and wonderful, but each time the wheel decends... I actually would get a little bit sick to my stomach!

    Ain't that the wierdest thing you've ever heard?
    Slightly off topic I know.... Nope, you're actually reacting normally! Now going up poles or trees and you can't get down, well...hehehehe When I had to fly our helicopter to mountain peeks to let techs fix these huge towers, I was good landing on this little pad or edge of the peek. As I departed the top of the mountain, and "eehhheeeww" was commonly heard in everyone's headset (hot mike) until I was away from the face of the mountain! "Mountain falling away" is like 'coming down' on the ferris wheel! Normal!!

    *HUG*
    Brenda
    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
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