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Angry Days

AnneENorthAAnneENorth Posts: 14
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:46 AM in Chronic Pain
What do you do when you have "angry days"? So many things are going wrong for me and usually I have a very positive attitude and can keep busy despite having to spend the majority of my day in bed. But today I feel like I am a prisoner in my body. Before surgery and my chronic pain, I was able to run or clean the house like crazy but now I just have to lay here and be tense.

I really have no one to talk to that understands what I am going through.
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1

Comments

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 13,241
    can be very difficult.
    Its one thing on how to deal with the daily pain and the physical impacts it has, but the emotional impacts are so much more difficult.

    It makes it even more difficult when you have no one around to talk to that will really listen. So many times, that is what you need, talking with someone who can understand WHY you are angry.

    My only suggestion would be to try to keep yourself busy with things that you can do that do not cause additional pain.
    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences 
  • I think a lot of us can understand how you feel so maybe being here will help you with your anger today. Reading through posts you find that there are some of those that feel exactly as you do right now and maybe you guys can meet in chat and talk in real time.

    This is definitely the place where everyone understands how you feel and what you're going through.

    Anne, are you going through treatment at the moment? Do you have any procedures scheduled in the future?

    Take care and keep on a-postin'. We're here for you.
    Cath
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  • I dont' have anyone to talk to about it either, my daughter understands and listens and cares, but I don't like to burden her with it very often. I usually come here and read others posts and then I don't feel so alone. It still is frustrating and discouraging, but you do realize you aren't the only person feeling that way.
    I have been a jerk on here from time to time because of my anger and frustration but... People have told me things I did NOT want to hear. At the time it just made me madder, but afterwards they were things I thought about.
    I have considered plugging myself from time to time, and when I first came here - I was really giving it some serious thought, and pretty much knew how and where so that no-one would find me and have to deal with that mess. After spending some time here and reading some of the posts; meeting and talking privately to a lot of nice folks; I have changed my mind about that somewhat. There are days when I toss it around, but not nearly as seriously as before. Before I was ready to go. I think there are a lot of good, honest people here that really do care and they obviously understand since they go through it too. I know I am a long way from being over my anger, but I am working at it everyday. I think this is a good place to come, not always to post, but just to read and see that you are NOT alone. We care!!! Take care :)
  • I use the anger and frustration of my injuries as a motivation and focus tool. It's too easy to surrender to the pain and feeling of uselessness, so I refuse to.

    "C"
  • Anne,

    Want you to know you are not alone and I deal with alot of sadness and yes anger of late. I am so glad that you took the step to express and share. It's very hard to be alone, with no one there to care or listen, and then be dealing with the feelings (lots of them and in all range) and especially *** anger *** which most people find it hard to experience and to reach out and try to express the inner experience of it!!

    I am really glad you chose to take the courageous step and share it here and talk about !!!

    I have found from my upbringing that sadness and ANGER was not allowed to be expressed or felt - - there was always someone whose job was to make sure you didn't feel it or express it, and another's job to make sure you felt any other emotion but that !!!

    So, I know it shouldn't be stigmatized for most of us living in this culture...nor should it be so unique in it being experienced, expressed and understood and accepted when you have the courage to feel it and know why you need to feel it!!! And then as usually is the case, if you typically try to express it to someone else, they can't "handle it" or understand it needs to be expressed and there's no harm done to express it as well, the emotion changes and becomes resolved when expressed and understood, without us harming ourself or anyone else in the process !!

    That being said, please know I care what is happening for you and with only a few more lines here, my hand is going out (nerve spasms the past two weeks from c-spine compression sorry LOL!!)

    But writing about it, yelling about it (I live alone) and it's great I offend no one!! (my dogs & cat don't mind at all - - in fact it shifts into me laughing when I get out and put words to what the he** I am angry about - - I have some out loud "conversations" with God and He doesn't mind either!!

    Sorry my hand left - - three fingers are going...
    please know you came to the right place...share as much as you can on that keyboard with us...we're here and we're not going away nor shall we be offended..

    this disease or other conditions suck - - and there is loss and there are big changes to our life and how we live and how we have to now cope - - it is tough and quite a grind on top of the physical pain and uncertainty - - it's a whole lot of experience that is the hardest ever...

    Well, listen stay in touch...and know the words and hearts shared here doooo make such a difference...,

    hand going..and going wish it was in reverse like the EVER-ready battery !! LOL! Hey that's what I need - - forget the c-spine surgery !!!

    Glad you are here...

    p.s. Typing with one hand now.. but I have to say....thanks so much -- you helped me shift from my PAIN and reality today... posted earlier of going thru changes in my life/loss, with having to let go of my cat, my fur-baby, possible be adopted, it's so hard. Truly your post helped me to get out of my loss/ and focus and know how hard that is to be where you are too!

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  • Hello Annie,

    Joydancer hit the nail on the head! Most on here fully understand what you're going through. It is "the other" major symptom ingredient in spine problems. It can at times seem like *it* is in control, and yeah, maybe sometimes it is, but coming here is a very good move in that many on here will offer support. :)

    I've actually "written mean letters" to my pain "beast" (beast is what the site Administrator so aptly calls it), and since only I read them, all the nasty words come out! It actually helps as some of the frustration that goes with dealing with pain and as such anger, come down a bit.

    I also find that if I go in the yard and just bi**h about it, that also helps get it out - plus a bit of exercise! I've promised myself I would NOT take it out on my hubby, but sometimes I think I do, as it takes my patience to a thin line. *sniff* I do things to distract myself from the pain, and as such (like a comedy movie to watch), gives me an emotional break. Please vent all you wish, we don't mind. You will find that we too receive support when giving it! Welcome to Spine Health Anne!! *HUGZ*

    Brenda
    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Sometimes I get really ticked off just let some of it out here Anne. I like your idea of letters to the beast Brenda. I sometimes let my hubby have it for no real reason...oops. Maybe I'll right a letter when I need to calm down.

    Anne- It sounds like you spend a lot of time in bed...do you get fresh air and sunshine daily?? I personally feel it helps my mood and how I feel if I at least get out and get some air. Can you physically not get out of bed or is the pain to severe? Have you discussed this with you doctor? The only reason I ask is that staying in bed so much may fatigue your body and make things worse. It seems like they could hopefully get you to a point where you could live a semi-functional life. I feel bad for you and I just hope that you can get to a better spot. I hate it when things just seem to all be going wrong. Keep us in touch with how your doing. Someone did ask..where are you in your treatment? Take care!! (I'm not a medical professional in anyway shape or form. I am just speaking from my experience and feelings.)

    Mouse- I appreciate you opening up like that. I sometimes get a feeling in people's posts that makes me wonder if they are considering suicide. It's good for someone to talk about it so others know that they are not alone. I haven't been to far into that place of mind but I have tought about how nice it would be just to go away. I have small children and a wonderful hubby so I fight and go on for them. I'm glad you've found spine health helpful when your struggling. I wish you the best...
  • Hi Anne,

    I am about 8 months into recovery from 2nd 2 level fusion and have hit a slump big-time. Feeling very down lately, and angry about what has been taken away from me.

    I was chugging along, thinking I've accepted and adapted to the reality of my future (limitations and yet another multi-level cervical fusion) when BAM! I fell into the slump.

    I think its normal to feel angry, depressed, lonely, helpless, etc. I'm hoping my setback is temporary, as is yours. I think how we deal with the chronic pain also depends on many other things are going on in our lives: a sick relative, young kids that need you, losing a job and money woes, etc. But, such is life.

    Just remember, we are hear to listen and support. When I am down it does help tremendously to come to this site. I always feel a little lighter.

    Take care,

    Lisa

  • Thanks for all the responses and hugs. I am not a person who talks about my feelings. My family was never one to discuss anything. We laughed a lot but never discussed anything of importance. I am even now surprised (and I was somewhat embarrassed) that I wrote on here but after reading all the wonderful responses I am happy that I did.

    Lisa - It is like you said you chug along and then BAM you get hit again. Just the other day I wrote on here about how busy I was and how positive I stay and then all the problems (mainly family) hit and it is hard to help them when you are dealing with your own personal issues.

    Hagland - that is a great comment to live by. Normally I am a positive and determined person but it just seems like the past couple days are tougher than usual.

    Ron - that is part of my problem....additional activities without causing myself additional pain.

    Cath - I just went through an unsuccessful SCS trial and this past Friday got an ESI. Right now I am just trying to get my nerves to calm down from the trial. The ESI did help somewhat so I will go for my second one.

    Mouse - I'm with you in that my family listen and cares but I just hate to burden them all the time. I do feel better after reading the posts of people who know what the pain is like. It is nice to know people care.

    Joydancer - I would love to yell about my pain maybe I will give that a try!!! I have conversations out loud to God everyday. I close the door to my bedroom and just talk to him - it sounds crazy but it does help. Did you say you have to give one of your pets away? I am so sorry.

    Brenda - I will try writing letters to my pain "beast". I actually write quite a bit but never about my pain. I think it is time to actually write how I feel.

    Rwill - I try to get out for a little bit everyday no matter what. I usually run in and get a cup of coffee from a grocery store and talk to them for a couple minutes and that is my activity for the day....sounds kind of sad but I am actually grateful for that! I also believe in opening the windows everyday and letting as much fresh air and sunshine in. I have epidural fibrosis and unfortunately the scar tissue is wrapped around the spinal cord. There is really nothing much they can do. Like I said, the scs was unsuccessful. I am just addressing the pain through medication.

    I really appreciate all the hugs and concern. Wow, everybody is so wonderful. I normally never do this because I feel like such a whiner when I say anything. Thanks for listening everybody. I am smiling right now :)

  • Thats why we are here, comfort, support, comraderie, shoulder to cry on and words of hope.

    Better days are ahead. I think if we just aknowledge that rough spots will happen, that may make it a bit easier to get through them.
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