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I just keep crying..

angelanicaangelanic Posts: 256
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:47 AM in Chronic Pain
I can't even walk today. Everytime i stand up it hurts. The meds aren't working. Talked to the doctor yesterday and he increased my percocet to 10mg, switched my MR to flexeril from tanzanadine, kept me on my 500mg of naproxen twice a day and added neurotin to the mix. AND NOTHING...I get a few hours of relief after taking the meds but mostly just sleep.

I am so depressed that i won't be able to go to work tomorrow. i am in the middle of trying to get a transfer from Brooklyn to NJ (where I live) which cuts my commute by an hour an a half. This would take place on the Oct. 1. Then on October 3rd my husband and I are celebrating our 15th anniv by having the wedding we never had. What if I can't get my shit together and lose the transfer and have to cancel the wedding. If it wasn't for those two things I would be at the hospital first thing tomorrow being prepped for surgery or would lay at home waiting for the surgery. BUT I CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW...this is not the time. i just need 3-4 weeks...GOD please.

I am sorry for the rant but it feels right now like no one understands and I feel so completely helpless.



  • Oh Angela, I wish I could hug you. I know how tough it is when you have all this pain and you are just asking for a few pain free (or pain manageable) weeks just to get through some key milestones.

    Did you have an ESI? I have to look at your other post. Maybe they can do another one if the first one worked...at least to get you through a little longer.

    I had a revision microD on L5/S1 (basically a do-over) back in February and I know each day is just praying I make it another week or 2 without needing a fusion.

    Try to drink some water, ice, and rest. Maybe just the stress of the upcoming milestones are creating pain for you.

    I wish I could at least bring you your favorite dessert to sweeten your day.
  • So sweet. The stress has been high but don't think that is it. Is ESI and epidural? If so, I got one 3 weeks ago this past friday. Only worked for two weeks. I am going to talk to doc in the morning and see if I can get another one.

    I do wish I had dessert.

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  • Angela,
    Darlin, I'm sorry you're hurting so badly. I'm sure the stress is contributing to it.
    Hoping you can get another ESI & try to delegate the things that you can. I know you probably feel like there isn't much that you can turn over that you already haven't, but sometimes the smallest things....
    In the meantime, take a deep breath & just be still..be still.
  • sometimes when I get overwhelmed I try to remember I can't figure out things that I don't even know if they are actually going to happen - bless your heart, I'll think good thoughts for you xx
  • Angela,

    First off, so sorry to hear you are hurting as you are. I know it's hard, but try to calm down if you can, as stress and down moods can add to the pain we feel. Get with your doctor and let him/her know that the new medication is not working - and too your upcoming plans. Hopefully a new mix will be the key. Please try not to put the 'cart before the horse' for your upcoming nuptials! Support *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
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  • Hi Angela..

    Im sorry your in so much pain and its getting to you...Try to take one day at a time, I know that might sound silly, and let your Dr know that your medications are not enough.

    Warm Hugs to you
  • First of all, Congrats on your anniversary! 15 years is amazing! :)

    Neurontin takes a while to take effect so there is hope that it will help. Mine was stopped accidently when I was in the hospital and once I restarted it, I realized how much it helped.

    My car was broken into recently and the next day my kitchen flooded :( I learned first hand how stress increases pain.....

    I am so sorry you are struggling! I know how hard this journey is! Is there a quiet activity you can do and enjoy that will help decrease your stress while you are hurting? maybe listening to your favorite music, watching mindless TV or your favorite movie, calling a girlfriend, chatting with us here?

    Hang in there! Praying that today is a better day for you!
  • I'm so sorry for what you are feeling and for all the upcoming events you have adding stress to you. I hope your meds start working better and congrats on your anniv! Let your doctor know if your pain is not being controlled. Hugs to you and blessings.
  • Thank you for all of your kind words. I am going to see PM at 3:30 EST...let you know how it goes. Hoping for a ESI.

  • CONGRATUATIONS! on your anniversar they are special times.
    Like Jayhawk said
    Do something relaxing. Last week I called out from work for two days, I could hardly walk from all the pain. I watched three of my favorite movies (with my heating pad on my back and cold pack on my knees, and taking a couple extra percocets)like First Wives Club, and couple others to help me make at least half a smile(in between snoozes). Some days I just can't do it. We have to take care of ourselves first. My daughter is getting married 10/10/10 so I understand trying to get ready for a big event and still be "all there" and have that happy face at the right time or all the time for the the event.
    Do take care and have a pain free anniversary
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