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I have become my pain



  • I did get the right eye done on Dec. 9, but cancelled the other eye as it is not bad at all. I am seeing my psychologist weekly, but still having depression and melt down type anxiety.

    After 3 weeks with no call I just quit my doctor and got appointment with the local pain clinic and I see the head of it this Tuesday. I got the copy of my MRI to take, but I don't understand a word of it-might as well be Greek! All I know is that there is significant arthritis in the low back which he wrote on the report.

    Since the pain doctor will be taking over all my meds for pain and sleep, I will talk to him about trying the Celexa for the depression and anxiety, just to take the edge off till I get myself in a better place.

    The one breakdown I really don't understand happened last Wednesday night. I was working out in the basement to one of my Leslie Sansone DVDs and I started thinking about my brother and I started sobbing uncontrollably! My brother dropped dead at the age of 36 back on March 6, 1994 while playing basketball with some coworkers. His death was the triggering event for my fibromyalgia. I thought I had handled his death by now since it has been 16 years and I have not had a reaction like that for many years! This just totally blew my mind!

    The very next day I had another meltdown talking yet again with my new prescription insurance people and had to hand the phone to my husband! I am just not going to call them because I just get frustrated and there is nothing I can do about it anyway. They have what they call patient advocates for you to talk to- that is the biggest joke I have ever heard cause they are no way any kind of advocate for the patients!

    I did have a nice holiday though. My 80 year old mother sang Oh Holy Night at our church Christmas Eve and it was beautiful then I had my boys and their families and my parents here for Christmas dinner and all went well- just the 4 grandkids whom I love dearly can be a bit overwhelming after a bit. My two grandaughters are 4 and 5 and they love to scream and run then the 10 and 7 year old grandsons love to make them squeal. It was so nice when everyone finally went home and all was quiet on the northeastern Ohio front!

    I got The Body Gospel workout program and did the strength interval today and boy was it a workout! I love to exercise and I figure painful muscles are better if they are fit and the exercise really does help with the stress. I did have to modify the jumping jacks because at age 61 with a bad back and fibromyalgia, I can't keep up with all those youngsters on there!

    sue in ohio
  • I have had fibromyalgia for 25 year the main thing I found along time ago is sitting around feeling sorry for yourself does not help anything,yes it is very painful but so is other medical problems and yes I have all kind of other medical things gone on like my spine from the neck to S1,lung and colon, knees, shoulder. I fill that yes I am in pain but the more you let it consume you the more it will, I also found that anti depressed made me more depressed, muscles relaxer and exercise helped me and yes the dr said he has not seen anyone’s fibromyalgia as bad as mine. All you doing is hurting you self by getting upset over all of this stuff it is not gone to change your insurance and all it is doing is cause you more pain sometimes are principles get in the way of what we need to have done.

    Sorry if this sound mean but it is true
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