Hi everyone. I just need to vent and given the way I live my life now, indent really have very many people in the outside world to talk to and those that I do have, I think are tired of listening.
I'm getting depressed, tired, exhausted, sick of being tired and exhausted. Sick of pills and people telling me that my two fusions look stable so I shouldn't have pain. WTF? I KNOW what I feel, and it's pain.
I used to work 70 hours a week as an ER nurse, go to grad school for my masters, raise three kids as a young widow by myself, and run 3-5 miles 4-5 x a week.
Now it hurts to even tie my shoes, can't get kitty litter at the store cause I can't pick it up, can only touch as far as my thighs when I bend over, can't sit for long enough to have a conversation without having to lay down, take 10 pills a day, cry every day, I'm in bed by 7pm and asleep by 8.
I have the most wonderful, understanding man in the world by my side, but I feel like life is passing me by while I lay in bed with my heating pad.
I have ZERO motivation.
How do you all cope? I feel like I'm going crazy?