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hurt in more ways than one....

NumbskullNNumbskull Posts: 1,526
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:49 AM in Matters of the Heart
So I've been trying to make it up to Toronto, for a visit with my best friends of 17 years, but it's a 2 1/2-3 hour drive. I just don't feel up to driving for that long, knowing that every "injury" I have (neck, back, hip, leg and knees) would be screaming by the time I get there. I'm also trying to get up to visit LisaRachel too :) So the other day, my mom suggested taking the train, so I checked, and the cost would be about the same (a little bit more) as it would be for the gas to drive. So I called my friend, and said that I could take the train, and would arrive around 1 pm. The train station is right downtown. She calls me back and said that her hubby said it would be faster if I took the subway up and they could pick me up at the subway station. I could not believe that! They expect me to go down 2 flights of stairs and walk all the way to get to the subway, and then endure sitting on the hard benches on the subway for 1/2 hour and then go back up 2 flights of stairs and stand there and wait for them for probably about 20 minutes for them to get there? All because neither of them feels like driving downtown. I didn't go. It really hurts me that they wouldn't drive to the train station to pick me up. it would only be about 1/2 hr drive. The last thing he said was that I could take a cab. That would cost me another $40 at least. These are my best friends in the world, like I mentioned earlier, for 17 years. I actually knew, and was friends with him first. This morning, after both my left leg, and my right knee gave out, I knew I shouldn't drive. And they've seen how I am after driving there in the past.
I think I just feel betrayed or something. She's always been the one who tries to understand, always asking questions, being supportive. I would never expect anyone to find their way uptown, even now, I would drive downtown to pick them up. It just hurts. Sorry for babbling...
APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own


  • Awww, your taking this way to personal! If, you told them that it would be too hard for you to take the subway do you think they would have picked you up? Maybe, when I get better I can visit you! People, just don't understand that even getting on the train is a big deal for someone with back problems. I hope you feel better soon..

  • Yes, Lisa, I did tell them, and that's when he came back and said "well, she can take a cab"...

    I can understand it coming from him, he has pretty bad chron's, but when we first talked when I said I could take the train, she said, oh, well Ted can go pick you up because I don't feel like driving down there. It's not like she's not used to it or anything either, she used to work downtown.

    Anyways, sorry that I didn't make it up again!! I was going to check to see where else the train stops, it must, close to Scarberia, lol, and I would just come to see you. I have another friend who lives there too!
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
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  • I reckon I'll have to pick you up on "The Blitz"... Can you ride on back or do I need to attach the wagon to him??!! :) Just teasing you because we talked about it on e-mailage earlier. Hope you have a good night buddy. Might be a good time to re-discover wine and a hot bubble bath! I believe I will do just that this eve!
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,732
    Sounds like a fair weather friend. Your going to take the train all of the way there. And they can drive 20 min. to pick you up?! That ain't right in my book! I'd be sad too. I've had a similar experience and it hurt!
    So sorry, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Maybe he is having a flare up and is too ill or too uncomfortable to drive. We have a friend with Chrone's and she is virtually housebound when she has a flare.
    We are also about two hours from Toronto but we are in the north,east direction.
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  • i can understand how hurt you feel.

    you would think they or one of them could pick you up from train, considering what the trip does to you.

    maybee , all is not well with them, just a thought!

    have you let your friend no in detail the challenge and pain it would cost you to take the subway?

  • I understand where you are coming from. It hurts big time when longtime friends let us down. I have had some major disapointments in the last few months from friends. I can't even type out how much I have been let down because it will start an all-out sob-fest (tears are already starting).

    One thing I do know is that my spiney friends are a Godsend.

    Take care Kelly. Anytime you want to chat/vent please feel free to PM me.

  • Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry that you've been hurt so much. I didn't mean to make anyone cry!! You're absolutely right though, we do have each other, when everyone else lets us down.

    Flower, I did end up sending her a message, decribing in detail why the subway is really not an option - like I would have to bring my cane because of the walking and stairs, that the stairs would be a problem, trying to manipulate them with the cane and suitcase, that I have to take a suitcase, as I can't carry a backpack, that sitting on the hard benches would kill my back and aggravate the sciatica, and my neck as there's no place to lean my head against comfortably, etc etc. I haven't heard back from her yet.

    The thing is, it was just that she didn't want to drive downtown, she told me that, and that there isn't parking and she didn't want to be circling the block waiting for me. I told her what time the train comes in, and I could find a place to sit to wait for her so she wouldn't have to circle. I don't know...

    Beaver, I was trying to think of north east of Toronto, are you up by North Bay or in the Muskokas? Beautiful area there.
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • that people who are not spineys just do not get it, its not surprising i guess as they have not experienced it.
    the one we see day to day or very regularly, so see it more, but they can not still understand what it like

    i have a "good" friend, i have known for many years, she told me " i dont want you to talk about your spinal issues, as that is what your surgeon is for".

    really, how uncaring is that!!!
    the other day she was over, and dropped something on the floor, she asked ME to pick it up, as she said it was difficult for her coz of her long nails

    i just glared at her

    they dont realize, how we would love to be able to drive downtown and circle the block, without pain

    take care
  • omg, flower, that is just so selfish!! I hope things like that don't happen often. I can't believe she wouldn't want you to talk about your health, but maybe because she needs to be the centre of attention? Sometimes I wish I were a mind-reader, lol
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
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