Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

advertisement

Quick Start Forum Video Tutorial

    Forum-Tutorial-Screenshot
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

Notice
All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test

The main site has all the formal medical articles and videos for you to research on.
advertisement

So depressed and...

SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,385
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:53 AM in Depression and Coping
...need some help in remembering why the need to keep on hanging on.
Truly, noone would notice if I wasn't here.
I know many suffer much worse than I and that causes more guilt in my heart.
I have God and that should be enough, but..the struggle...
How am I going to endure this week let alone another 20 years of this painful and very lonely lifestyle?
Sue
Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please read my medical history at: Medical History

advertisement
13

Comments

  • Sorry to hear you're struggling with loneliness right now and having pain. I try to keep things one day at a time and hoping for a better tomorrow for pain relief and recovery. Find something you enjoy doing may help like looking through photos or call or email someone.

    Reach out. Tell your family you need to have a coffee with them or to help you shop and be specific with your need. Let your Dr. know how you're feeling. Call the distress line. Set some goals to do daily and be forgiving and gentle with yourself if you can't meet goals.

    I had to find someone to clean my house and called the company that runs Meals on Wheels to get help. And I just sold my house and have to find an apt. for myself because the house is too big for me.

    But I try to come here and another site to help out or to get support daily needing my friends on the net because my family is limited for help.

    I don't know where you are but it's rainy here and dark and can really bring one down. Even my cats are looking at me like I control the weather and want to go out so they want to play but Mommy's too tired. LOL I wish they would play together.
    I'm thinking of you and praying you will get through this time. Hugs. Charry


    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Hello Savage, I wish I had the majical answer for you. I am glad that you have God in your life or you probably could not have made it this far. I myself am accepting God in my life finally. Without my faith and prayers I don't know that I could stand what I have up to now. I also am having a rough time of it. I feel like I am on a merry-go-round and I just want off. After 2 1/2 yrs of Pain Mgmt and doing every thing they have thrown at me. Taking all the crap they give me. They now inform me that they are just band-aiding me and go see the Neuro again. So the cycle starts again. I want to stop all these meds now. I don't consider this functioning anymore. I still hurt real bad and am so tired all the time. Now I cry constantly at the drop of a hat. So I feel you. Like they say "One day at a time". I pray every day for strength and compassion from others. I try make each day count for something. Even if I can only give it one hour before I am down for the count again.
  • advertisement
  • I too know how bad it can get.I too have often wanted to end it all,because this trip can be so horrid at times.
    You have my respect to the upmost.
    But don't give up--find something to help make you smile,buy a kitten,do anything to improve where things are now.Get into reading novels,find someone that you could help smile again.
    Focus on good things,music,blue sky & sunsets.If you throw in the towel,you will never get to enjoy another sunset,don't do that,please.I know--its bad at times.But deep breath & get through.Pray & ask for a way.
    Please don't give up.
  • We all get down and depressed but have to remember that things can be better in the morning or the next day. Like may of the previous suggestions call someone, get a pet, go for a walk, join a book club or some other group. I have 5 cats who alternately drive me crazy or are my best friends in the world. They can sense when I am feeling low. When I am feeling my worst about how my life was ruined because of an accident I had no control over, I remember that there is always someone who is worse off than I am. Then I am glad for the things that I CAN do. Sometimes you really have to dig deep for the good things!! I just finished my 3rd fusion in 4 years and this one is the hardest recovery so far. Sometimes its just not fair. But life goes on and there are people who care about you. Give them a call, suggest coffee or lunch or a walk. Or get on this website. There are a whole bunch of us who support each other.

    Jani

    Spinal stenosis, spondolysis, spondolythesis, L4/L5 laminectomy, L4/L5 360 fusion with instrumentation, L1 to L5 fusion with instrumentation and bone graft from hip, L1/S1 fusion with replacement disc put in, PT, accupuncture, prolotherapy, many cortisone injections, 4 rhizotomies. Currently on tramadol
    L4/L5 laminectomy, L4/L5 360 fusion with instrumentation, L1 to L5 fusion, L5/S1 fusion w/ disc replacement, left and right SI joints fused.
  • Just want to reach out to you and let you know that
    we are all here for you. Chronic pain is a very hard thing to deal with, as we all know. It can be very helpful to reach out, as you are doing here for help. I too agree that you should reach out to family, friends, a helpline and ask for help.

    Please know that we are all here for you at anytime whenever you need to talk.Please hang in there,brighter days are always ahead, sometimes we just have to find a path to get there.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers >:D< >:D< >:D<

    Karen
    >:D< >:-D< : Karen
    L3-S1 herniation and bulges, stenosis, mod facet,ddd,impinged nerves,coccydinia
    discectomy/lami July 2011-unsuccessful
    adr L5-S1 Feb 2012
  • advertisement
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,385
    ...limited. Family truly do not care. I am done asking, explaining...near begging for just connection forget about help or old fashion love and concern. Done.
    Few friends...but everyone busy...have lives.
    So...I have...no family..no job...no contributions left to make.
    I'm going to continue to endure...It just stinks and feels like a waste of resources to keep going for.. more of the same.
    Will see therapist this week and.. keep trying.
    Sue
    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • that you are going to see a therapist. Just talking to someone and letting it all out can be beneficial.

    Please keep hanging in there, keep reaching out. We all care on here.

    Been thinking about you, you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

    >:D< Karen
    >:D< >:-D< : Karen
    L3-S1 herniation and bulges, stenosis, mod facet,ddd,impinged nerves,coccydinia
    discectomy/lami July 2011-unsuccessful
    adr L5-S1 Feb 2012
  • Well done Savage for determining to keep on Keeping on.I too,get like you sometimes,in fact this morning was like it.Then I rang a friend,had a chat & wow,suddenly I was feeling totally different & not that down at all.Its amazing how quickly those feelings can change,so don't let them bet you.Consider those down thoughts as the enemy trying to steal off you.Because they are trying to steal your life.Don't let them.
    Can you do any type of exercise ? that can make a world of difference too.Keep in touch.
    Mike.
  • Savage said:
    ...limited. Family truly do not care. I am done asking, explaining...near begging for just connection forget about help or old fashion love and concern. Done.
    Few friends...but everyone busy...have lives.
    So...I have...no family..no job...no contributions left to make.
    I'm going to continue to endure...It just stinks and feels like a waste of resources to keep going for.. more of the same.
    Will see therapist this week and.. keep trying.
    Savage, sorry to hear what you are having to experience and the path that brings loss, frustration, hopelessness, no genuine caring friends, isolation, fear there is nothing that can change where you are...

    Been there and have had to feel the loss, emptiness, but let me say that it also has been the very place of surrendering where I saw I needed to truly step up and have empathy for ME and what was happening...


    Good for you in having the courage to express and share where you are...that's not easy when being there and feeling loss, emptiness.


    Glad you know you have a God, and I hope you can develop a relationship on a level that can sustain, restore and lift you, just by asking...giving it God and ask...for strength to come and guide you to what can truly lift you to a better place...

    Be sure to have some spirit support resources (we so deny our spirit when our body is hurting). I pull out my Spiritual Warrior resources, books, tapes, inspirational readings, short and I know is the Truth. Have my favorite self-talk affirmations that counter the doubt/fear/worry/hopelessness - - "this too will pass", "okay God I'm leanin into you, I can't do this alone", "I'm givin all of this to you God..."

    Do HALT check-in when I am on "Empty" and ask:

    What am I Hungry for?
    What am I Angry about? (say it aloud, yell about it, write about it, let it all out, free yourself from the burden of it all!)
    Why am I so Lonely? (what can I do about that now)
    Why am I so Tired? (what burdens, shame and things I am doing to me that is not working) AND

    I found out how I need to do everything I can to meet my needs and what I am so deprived of and so deserving of !

    Savage, good to hear you have a counseling appt this week :)

    "God will find a way for you where there seems to be no way" has been so true in my life in all that seems so wrong and impossible....know it can be in yours.

    Trust and keep on keeping on >:D<

    Janelle

  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,385
    ...enough for the encouraging words.
    With tears down my face I thank you for the challenge for me to continue to find ways to take care of myself....and especially for your sharing what helps you to get by.
    I feel a little stronger about whatever is going to happen tomorrow. A day at a time.
    Sue
    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

advertisement
Sign In or Register to comment.