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Sex, Love & All the Juicy Bits of Dating with Chronic Pain



  • I had to add marriage,to the list!Everyone has gave you great advice on dating!Now if you find that wonderful someone,(and I know they`re out there)! I would look for a guy who show`s great compassion,unselfess,humor,smart,and a huge shoulder to cry to,and lastly someone who doesn`t keep a list of things he does for anyone)! I`ll be married 41 years this June(I MARRIED AT 13)!lol But, young enough,not to have that list in my pocket.(Handsome,money,love to dance, oh, be in a band,would be romantic,to be sung to)!When we`re young(at least me)we don`t look beyond the shallow things.I wish I had! We all learn,at some point,there will be pain, whether,physically,mentally,or just crap life is going to throw at us!!!I`ve had to learn,and I keep learning(SO SAD to SAY)!!I wish I`d had the wisdom to lean on my hubby,through all the ugly things,let him know I can`t handle all those by myself.A marriage is never one spouse holding everything together(like Gorrillo Glue). So when you find,that special someone,keep your list handy,he might not be handsome,wealthy,like everything you do,but he loves you beyond the shallow things as you`ll love him.Like those special words "Though sickness and health".I believe you`ll find your prince, he may seem like a frog, but if he is your true prince, he`ll love you beyond all the pain. Like our fellow spinies advised(great advice,by-the-way)!No matter what,where there is hope there is a way!Good luck!As always,Gentle HUGZ!!!
  • I will speak from the other side of the fence.
    Married for 13 yrs now - about 1/2 of those years I have been injured.

    He LOATHES the changes in me and our life. I do mean LOATHES!!!!! I pay for my injury each and every day with him. (why I stay is a whole different story/situation)

    So by you going into a relationship with your injury this person is choosing to be with you the person, accepting you as you are.

    So from my side of the fence I would view your dating and hopefully finding Mr.Right after and with your situation as a positive thing ;)
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
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  • Ms.Dumpty,Iknow where you`re coming from.My darlin Hubby,has no clue about never ending spine sufering!I really try to understand him. You would think that he would know me alittle better! Never,ever,have I had to deal with a condition,I couldn`t be his loving,devoted,suppot of wife!He hates my condition.He want`s the return of his former wife. What-the-heck,I want me back,more than he does!!!After more Doc.`s than I care to think about telling him,doesn`t matter what surgeries,I have,more rests,there isn`t any Docs.in the US.that could bring back his former wife.Maybe,some better,who know`s,maybe years down the road,tech. will be here.Endless pain,I`m trying to make lemonade out of lemon`s. I know he loves me,he just can`t or won`t understand. Get Her Fixed,NOW!!!Maybe, a miracle is around the corner.Just not now,I wished I knew when.So for anyone married,or in a relationship,and your other half is everything you need and want,gave him or her a great,big hug for me. You truly have found your king or queen!!!I`d be jealous,if I wasn`t so happy for you lucky spinies!Happy Memorial Day,have a wonderful,painfree weekend!
  • You both hit on something very important about our male significant others. While we are the nurturers, they are the fixers! They can't fix us, and I do think sometimes they take that as a failure on their part.

    For some, that translates into them acting out, and too dumping it back on their wives that the profess to love. Just my thoughts there...

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
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