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need a buddy

Frannie PageFFrannie Page Posts: 193
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:53 AM in Depression and Coping
HI,
Just found this site today...sitting here now for 3 weeks after redoing a front spine fusion, and also had the back done as well, as the orginal fusion did not form a good union. I have been out of work for a year,then went back for 6 weeks and got laid off... am home alone all day and am so depressed...my friends don't visit, though I do get a phone call now and then. After the 1st fusion last spring, I also tore the main ligaments in my right hand, and that is not doing so great either...it's holding, but have limited use and wear my therapy brace alot. 3 lumbar spine surgeries, carpal tunnel, spine injections that did no good...alot of arthritis, degenerative disc disease, degenrative joint disease...you name it, I have it...
I try to find some happiness everyday and have lowered my standards for cleaning, etc., but this nasty depression and feeling of hopelessness just won't quit. I take celexa - 1 a day, but it doesn't seem to help much.
I'm so tired of being alone and watching tv just isn't cutting it anymore...
Anyone want to be a buddy to help me get through this and hopefully back to a more functioning self? It's even hard to sit and type, so I'm on and off line to lay down..
Frannie
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13

Comments

  • There are a lot of people who share your feelings and are looking for support, and looking to provide support. I was reading several of the posts in the Depression forum, and there are so many people going through hard times right now.

    I am sure you know that us spineys have our good days and bad day--or good weeks and bad weeks. I hate to hear that you are going through bad times. :(

    Have you talked to your doctor about your problems with depression. Maybe you do just need a friend, but maybe you need to have your medication adjusted.

    Like you, I am on and off the site, once or twice a day. Lately, I have been down, too. I will say some prayers that we both feel better, and look for your reply the next time I log in.

    Hope you feel better soon!! :H
  • and welcome to Spine Health. This is a great place for friendship and support through difficult days.

    There is a chat room too, but it seems to be very quiet these days.

    If you place messages on the threads, you will generally get an answer quite quickly. Members here come from all over the world (I am in the UK) so with the different time zones, there is generally someone on line at most times.

    3 weeks after a redo is very early days. Do give yourself time to recover. During my lumbar fusion recovery last spring and summer, I used to read, watch tv, listen to music and even wrote a story for my granddaughter. I also walked 2 miles a day and did my exercices. Although the time seemed to go very slowly, there were things that I had planned to do that I didn't get round to.

    Something that I did that helped me to look forward to a more positive future, was to write a list of the things that I hoped to do after my surgery once I started to improve. Some of them were quite easy to do and others were more ambitious. Now, over a year later, I have done just about all of them. As I ticked them off, I really felt that I was improving and moving forward in my recovery.

    I am not perfect, but am very much better than I was. My neck and thoracic spine are now calling out for attention, so I'm not sure what the future holds for me, but I am trying to make the most of how I am today, as I fear I am slipping backwards again in those areas.

    Your recovery should mean that you are moving forwards and improving. Look at your improvement on a weekly basis rather than daily, then you should see more positive changes.

    You are not alone Frannie, there are lots of us here who will walk along beside you on this journey. :-)

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  • HI Frannie,

    Welcome to spine-health. Have a look around and you will find many whom are going through the same thing as yourself. We all get how depressing recovery and medical issues in general can be, so you have come to the right place. As stated earlier we do have chat rooms available, and sometimes if you just go in and even though no one is there someone will be along shortly. But other nights you will find the room buzzing with members. I believe right now that winter has left many are enjoying getting some vitamin D.

    If your anti-depressant isn't working talk to the doctor about changing the dose or med. Not every med works on everyone. You are still very early in recovery so don't let that get you down. Also do you have a walking program that you can measure which sometimes help to feel some accompolishments? If not look on google and you can find some, personally I like 10,000 steps.

    Keep posting on spine-health, with all your experience you might find it helpful to post to new members who are just beginning the journey. If you need anything don't hesitate to pm me. Take care and look forward to reading more of your post.
  • Thanks for the reply..I guess lately I've had more bad days than good...this was my 30th surgery,(pick a body part at this point!) and the good days just seem so far away....but thanks for your suggestions and support...A med change may help....
    And yes, we'll both feel better soon!!!
  • God, reading your med history is like looking at my own! The last fusion was in the front only, and it was an easy recovery with very little pain at all...this front and back is another story! Don't have a post op until next week, so I have no idea of the time line on this one..You have given me good suggestions and I would be happy to try to support you also...Hope to talk with you again soon! I guess we all need to hang in there!!!
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  • Thanks for responding..when I see the dr next week, I will ask about a med change...I take them for the SRI effect regarding my fibromyalgia and chronic lumbar pain...maybe it needs to change to cover all categories! I do love the warmer weather, and am outside with my dog now and then during the day..but with the lumbar problems, walking any distance is a problem for me..what I wouldn't give to actually be able to run again (just to be able to!)...guess you don't miss things until you can't do them anymore...But as I tell my dr's, "I'm falling apart and 58, but thank God I'm still cute!!"
    It always makes both of us smile! WIll keep in touch- thanks for being there...

  • Thinking of you and hoping that you are feeling more comfortable today. There are a lot of people who used to visit here, needed a follow-up surgery to deal with something that was still causing trouble, and they are now much better and back to their life and work.

    I really hope that you will be another story like that. First you need to let your body heal from the trauma it has just received. Follow all the rules and get plenty of rest. Frequent short walks will keep the area well oxygenated and help with the healing of the bone, muscles, ligaments and nerves. Spine surgery is massive! Our bodies need plenty of time to get over it and heal.

    Also, I think that emotionally, we need to take the time to come to terms with what has happened and for me talking about it is what helps there. Spine Health is a wonderful place to come and talk about it, because people here don't get fed up with hearing about it and can REALLY understand what we are talking about.

    I am off for another lumbar MRI scan this afternoon of my lumbar spine. Trying to work out what is causing the various neurological symptoms that I am getting in my legs and feet. Want to check that it is not coming from compression in the lumbar area. I did have disc degeneration either side of the level that was fused, so hope that they are standing up ok. It could be from my neck or thoracic, so hopefully today we will discount the lumbar area.

    I don't know which would be the best option as far as dealing with it goes.

    Take good care and keep healing. :-)

  • Thanks for the good wishes for today...I needed that... And good luck with your MRI today... I get electric like jolts down my legs if I walk too much and my left thigh that is numb most of the time, starts to ache...weird how it can be numb and ache at the same time. Then the left side of my lower back starts to feel like there's a blow torch on it...but all if this will subside if I stop walking and lay down. Feel like I spend half my life on the couch sometimes..but otherwise my back is doing ok all things considered..nothing they can do, and the injections didn't help, so I don't bother with them anymore. My "T" section is ok so far...but with your "C"s and "L"s to boot, I can't imagine how you hold yourself together.. you are stronger that you know.... and make me feel like a whiner for complaining!! I added my med history, but for some reason, it doesn't show up...but we're similar in our problems...geez... I hope all goes well for you today and will be thinking of you...
  • It sounds like you are feeling a little better today, and it is good to see how many responded to let you know that we are here for you!! I saw where you also responded to another person who is having a bad time--that was so nice--so many times, just a kind word or a little support means so much.

    I think we are more like a family, we know what others are going through, we have been there, and we understand. Understanding really means a lot!! My husband says he understands, but i just don't think he "really" understands.

    Where are you from? What did you do? I see we are the same age, but I am not so cute anymore!! haha
    =))

    I am going tomorrow for Facet Joint injections, and am praying that they help. I want this fixed so bad, and sometimes I think I am just desperate to do anything that I think might help. Because it is WC, there is always a fight to get anything.......
  • for the good wishes. A friend of mine spoke to me on the phone this morning and is going to come with me. :-) It will be nice to have some company while I am waiting for the appointment.


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