I also wanted to bring up my continued battle with very severe depression. I feel horrible mentally so much I don't live I exsist. I have searched for answers and tried remedies with my doctor. As some of you know I am a disabled vet with long running PTSD, anxiety, and majoe depressive disorder.
I suspect my pain pills are the culpret, but I haven't had the guts or the strength to quit them due to pain and I feel worse very rapidly. I just don't know what to do as I am not living anymore, I am exsisting. I isolate from loved ones and don't want to do anything at all or maybe I should say I can't do anything.
Lately I truly feel like giving up as I see know point as to having a life that revolves around pills and dwelling on past memories, some good and some not. I have been treated for so long I just feel there's nothing left to try or do and I think my wife would be better off. I do want to take myself out due to religous and family considerations and I just really hate myself and what I have become.
I'm not sure why I am posting this as while I am writing it it sounds pathetic. Many of you have been such great friends and so unselfish and I thank you. I know no one has a magic answer for this, I guess I'm just saying what I feel. The docs don't like to switch my anti depressants because I can be mentally sensitive to meds so the are hesitant due to past failures.
I don't blame God or anyone except myself for the way things have turned out, I could have done better somehow. Hope things get better for all you guys. thanks for listening,