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  • I feel for you. I had a boyfriend once that was sort of like that. He "didn't like Dr.s and Hospitals.." and was absolutley no help to me.

    My current boyfriend is wonderfull and very compassionate. I still have fears of him getting fed up and leaving or being angry at me because of my pain.

    Whe I get to feeling that was or "see something in his eyes or attitude" I ask him abloout it. He knows the door is open if it ever becomes too much for him. What I see in his eyes is actually sadness for ME not for his part in this. I am learning to trust him more and more.

    It's hard not to bring attitudes and fears from a previous relationship into a new one. I just tell him why I feel worried or scared and we talk about it.

    I hope all works out for you and that you are mistaken on what you think he feels.

    ALIF L3-5 Aug '11, butress plates added pos. Feb '12, 2013 revision decompresive laminectomy L3-SI, removal of hardware, exploration, allograft, instrumentation and possible bone morphogenic protein (BMP) 3rd times the charm!
  • MetalneckMetalneck The Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,778
    consideration ...

    After my two level ACDF failed .... and continuing to work full time in agony while I looked for doctors that would pony up and help my physically and mentally detoriating situation ... My wife and I of then 17 years grew further apart. I believe that once she realized that I wasn't going to be the money machine I had been for the past many years,
    and was facing the potential of chronic pain and disability her mind, heart, and vows began to wander.

    3 weeks after being in the hospital for an 8 day anterior - posterior - cage - rods - 12 screws revision - she announced that she was divorcing me.

    For those of you that are so blessed to have a partner that continues to love, support, and stand by you in what is the most challenging times (thus far) in our lives - please cherish them and remind them each day how special they are.

    It takes an angel to stand by us, as we deal with this devilish disease.

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  • Thanks for your words, I'm sure we would have done anything for them if they were in our shoes... With my new partner he only saw mild "crisis" and this one is lasting almost 3 months I've been in and out of hospital 6 times and now waiting to see the neurosurgeon again to see if anything can be done. They say I have to have the wing cage fusion and the prodisC out and stabilize the cervical column with a plate as it is very unstable. This is too much for him, he can't take it. Today he took me to physiotheraphy and after to a bar and couldn't understand why I couldn't just sit there... I explained that after physio I need to lay down for half an hour or more to relax and then we can go out. The weather is so good and everyone sitting out on nice terraces having drinks and here I am laying on the sofa with the laptop. Of course, I'll have to go and pick him up after...
    He was very considerate at the beginning, this time he is just fed up and that is what I see in his eyes and his behaviour. We could lay in the garden! tomorrow we have to get up at half six and I have to struggle to get him to work so I can go to the hospital appointment and then pick him up again at one... he just doesn't know what an effort it is for me right now! I am very upset.
    Good luck on the 8th and keep us updated
    Soft hugs
  • Thanks for sharing your story. I am so sorry this happened to you it is difficult after 17 years (same as me) I never expected him to change so much, maybe I never knew him...
    And I agree that those who have partners who stand by them, love and support them are sooooo lucky and they are very special.
    Just lets imagine we get well with time and we can do all those things we want/would like to do and one day we feel happy again. That is one thing, we are content/happy with every little thing we achieve that other people take for granted! It may sound silly but when I can do my hair and clean the whole house, I feel like the the queen of the castle, satisfied and proud of myself :-)
    Those days will come, they have to
    Hugs and take care,
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