For anyone who has been on the low back pain forum lately you know that i just had an ESI done on friday. I went through very intese pain for three days afterwards and its finally starting to feel somewhat better. I'm still not where i would like to be ,but i'm sure most people on here aren't thats why were here. I didn't realize until this evening how emotionally exhausting what i went through really was. The pain almost on top of all the pain that i was dealing with was emotional chaos. I could feel myself stuffing down the pain inside just to get through the situation. I just don't want to do that anymore and i'm not sure that i can handle the pain that i still have on a daily basis. I have an apt. with my doctor tomorrow morning and i'm dreading having to talk with her about the injection and how i am emotionally. You see all this pain i'm trying to deal with is bringing out a tendancy to self injure that i had from childhood. A problem totally unrelated to what's happening with me now but still my way of dealing with the stress and chronic pain.I HAVE NOT yet done anything to harm myself but i keep having overwhelming urges to do so just to distract myself from the pain for a short while. My fear isn't of what she might think of me but actually her thoughts as too the medications that i'm taking whether or not i should be on them,how that will affect a neurologists ways to treat me?, if i will need surgery will they do it while in this state of mind? But this state of mind is caused by the constant pain that i'm having.Please can anyone off any advice!!!!