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They don't get it..

tkdanttkdan Posts: 62
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:57 AM in Depression and Coping
It is hard to get people close to me to understand what I'm going through. I have one friend pressuring me to take a trip out of town for the weekend. I absolutely have no desire, one, to ride 4+ hours in a vehicle, two leave the comforts of home. I've forced myself in the past because others would say you just need to get out and do something and you'll feel better. Very seldom has that played out that way. What usually happens is I end up having major pain flare-ups and am in no condition to partake in any of the activities. Then I get to hear the dreaded words, "you used to be more fun to be around". This in turn adds to my depression. Why can't others get it?


  • MetalneckMetalneck The Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,778
    ..... your right ..... most of the time "they" don't get it. till someone has experienced what we go through ... there is no way they can understand.

    i don't know if you've seen this yet, but it maybe helpful for people that you are really close to.


    hang in there ... we understand.

  • Thanks for the link...
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  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,385
    I tried that letter ..changed up a little for my personality..and the few people who try to understand my situation, they appreciated it.
    The people who don't..still don't.

    For me, I've had to accept the new me. I think that meant I had to grieve for the former..healthier me.
    A couple friends are there for me...but most are gone.

    Hey, I don't really blame them. I don't even get it and it's happening to me. For some of my former people..everything just too unbelievable...so their distrust of things I say has entered every aspect of the relationship. And then...it dissolves.

    So, I do grieve that loss..but in the long run it's easier to not listen to their disappointment of plans they made for me or the "Again?" of it all.

    I don't think anyone asks for this life..but we make the best of it and look forward to who is there for us...and look forward to a day with a little less awful on the pain scale. :)

    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • i can relate completely. so often i dont go out bc i only have so much energy i can put out each day, and i dont want to "waste" it when i have so many things falling behind at home to clean up after. single mom of a 3 year old, work at home as an artist. ill be 28 november 3rd and i go to bed when my son does. many nights i spend doing this... researching and finding as much information about my condition, medications, trials, support, ANYTHING. sometimes i sit and cry bc im so young.. how will i be when im 40? my mom just died at the age of 52 of a neurological disease that shut down her whole body. though apparently non hereditary, it only adds to my daily anxiety and depression about my health when i've barely reached my dreams. at least i have my son, and he is in good health. i beat myself up and tell myself im ungrateful bc my son is alive and healthy and that should just be enough to be happy. but this pain just chews..and chews and eats at me.
  • Dan and all -

    I can totally relate. I'm only 6 months in to this, but I just spent a weekend doing too much for my daughter b/c it was her 17th B'day, She is under horrible stress herself with last year of HS and college apps and it's her last B'day at home. I feel like a totally inadequate mother, gutted b/c I am missing out on her last year at home and at the same time resentful when I am pressured to push it too hard b/c I will suffer and still need to get up in the AM & work.
    Both my daughter and husband have been amazing and loving and helpful, but it is hard for them to "get it" sometimes. I don't know if I would be any better. It just sucks all around at times.
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