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A good day makes me think I'm crazy

j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,745
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:57 AM in Chronic Pain
Good days are far and few between. But when I've been through days or weeks of terrible pain and then I have a good day. And that's the only day I can think of. And I start questioning the bad ones. Were they really all that bad or am I just overemphasising the pain I felt prior to today.
Am I crazy, today is so good how can the other days have been that bad?
My pain Psych says, I'm in denial. I say how can there be such a big difference? I didn't do anything different that I can think of. Am I just going crazy or what?
Jim
Click my name to see my Medical history
You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
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13

Comments

  • I do the same thing Jim, I really think its our minds way of coping by forgetting the pain we live in day in and day out. I have a very poor memory about what kind of pain I've been in. It seems like when I have a low pain day, I'm either shell shocked due to the pain I have been dealing with and dont enjoy it, or I start to wonder if my pain is really that bad (it doesnt take long to remember it once it comes back).
  • I do the same thing, Jim. Sometimes it is one hour that is pain-free, and I think that I can move mountains...WRONG!!! Pain returns with a vengance, and I am once again humbled.

    I think that denial is probably not to far from the truth. I look in the mirror and see a changed woman; but to most people, I look relatively young and healthy. "It is very deceptive" says my doctor. That gets my attention. In 4 weeks it will be 2 years since I've given anesthesia. It feels like just yesterday. It was my life and passion.


    You are right on target, Jim. Hope you are able to have more pain-free days!!!!!

    SG
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  • But it keeps me from going insane.! I had one half of a day last week when my new pain meds made feel almost pain free for a few hours. Then I went out in the yard and did just a few little things and POOF! Like a majic wand the pain was back with a vengence. I hope for you to get a while off of the pain train.
    Gary
  • I know exactly what you are talking about!!

    My neck pain started up in about 2005 and I had bouts of severe pain which started about every 6 months, then 3 months, then 2 months and so on.

    I didn't even go to the doctor about it until January this year when I showed up to work in the middle of a BAD flare and I started crying in front of my boss when he asked me "how are you". I kept telling him I was fine and if I could just stay in the office or just ring on the cash register (While crying haha). He was not buying it and sent me home, but he said only if i go to the doctor! (He had been trying to get me to go to the doctor for a while about this). So I went to the doctor and thus the treatment began. Well... Sort of at least, she just thought it was a pulled muscle.

    The pain never really went away after that flare.... It would go slightly away and then just flare up very soon after.
    ACDF C4-5 June 23rd, 2011

    Another surgery in the near future. I am 26 years old.

    Current Meds- Norco 7.5/325, Cymbalta 60mg, Gabapentin, Adderall 20mg
  • Hey, Jim. I feel that way too, to an extent. But I don't know if I really question whether my previous pain was real. More, I question what I did to make this day better than the others. Exactly why is today a good day? What did I do, I'd really like to know.

    Oddly, on those days that I don't hurt, I actually take a strong look at all the parts of my body, making sure nothing's hurting because it's hard to believe. "Back, you sure you're ok?" (bend forward, twist, bend back) "Neck, is it just this one position that feels good or are we ok?" (look left, right, up, down, tilt).

    Usually the answer is "Yes, Cath, I'm doing good today, make good use of me" and so I have a good day. I never expect the same tomorrow and am pleasantly surprised when and if it comes.
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  • I think we all do the same thing. I found when your pain reaches max to where you are dying then it backs off finaly for a day or 2 before the nerves go to work again,

    I been going through this same cycle for long time now, 1 day it finaly reaches the point of wanting to go to er. It builds up stronger and stronger untill body cant take it any more. Then its like it resets itself to low pain again,

    Then when you have releif for that 1 day it hits you how this is how life should be with no pain. Its a great feeling, my breathing goes back to normal and your realise how much the stress realy afects your whole body from the dailey pain,

    On a previous post we talked about we should be happy as we still have our legs and arms compaired to the guys who lost an arm or a leg in war,

    I personaly dont agree! I would give up an arm or a leg any day in exchange to stop this spine pain!

    They showed on tv these young guys started a baseball team because they always played sports before going to war, and now with loss of a leg they using artificial leg to get back in to sports,

    Its sad of course they lost a leg or an arm, its sad that it altered there life, But they are strong and they adjusting to there new life which they would not be able to do with a spinal injury, not to that degree anyways,

    So yes i would be more then willing to give up a leg to live pain free without a question,

    Loss of a leg slows you down. Spinal injury stops your life,
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • I have to say that I haven't had a good (relatively pain free) day in so long that I've forgotten how it feels. I've been continual pain for the last year or so. I'm now almost 4 months out from my L5-S1 fusion. I've been told to expect to feel significant pain for at least four or six more months. That's significant and constant pain.

    I congratulate those of you can experience such good days. Appreciate each and every good moment; you never know when the next one will come along. I hope I don't sound bitter because really, I'm not. I'm learning to live with pain instead of fighting it. I do look forward to my next pain-free time so that I too can appreciate the moment.

    Michael
    Disability retirement
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,745
    #^^%*&*(>???< what the hell was I thinking!!! It's like I must now be punished.
    I took my normal pain meds and it didn't even take the edge off! ~X(
    Alex, I think your on to something! :?
    And Michael, I am BITTER!!! X(
    Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Once or twice a year I get a day or maybe three that I have much less pain and almost feel normal. Now I know it won't last and sometimes I get really mad because I know.

    Also go crazy trying to figure out why. Sometimes I think it is because I slept well or maybe slept in a good position. Or maybe something moved just a little bit.
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,745
    Hell, if I knew what I did to bring on a good day with less pain. So I asked her:
    Wouldn't you think I would replicate that on a daily basis. And I could quit coming all of the way down here to see you! What were you thinking???!!!
    Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
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