I had a discectomy and fusion on Nov 10. I am feeling ok physically, but my mental state is a hot mess. I feel like I am 8 months pregnant again, even seeing a puppy or smiling child (especially my own) brings me to hysterics. I see my family, my husband is laid off for the season and here with me and my son, so why do I feel so isolated? It's a lonliness I've never known. I am finding myself day dreaming of the day when I can throw my son up in the air and hear him scream in delight and just crying and crying and then more crying. Then I think of the times my husband and I used to rough house, and have so much fun just beating each other up (not literally, I usually kicked his ass anyways) One time a neighbor actually came down to check on us we were so loud, I think I had just launched hubs off the bed, LOL! I just want to be normal again, and not in this haze of drugged pain, I can't even think clearly some times. Its exhausting. Vent over, thanks for reading.