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need help

elviseelvis Posts: 79
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:59 AM in Depression and Coping
another bad night was very up set i don't know what to do let me tell you a little bit it all started 6 weeks ago i was taken to kings hospital cause i couldn't breathe i had lots of water on my lungs and my body had loads of water they took 20 lites from me then they told me that i may need stents put in they checked and told me that they couldn't do them and that i will need a triple bypass from day one of going there i didn't like be away from my husband we have been together for 37 years never a day a part we both cried every day and when they told me that i will have to have this bypass or i would die i know my husband could not cope on the day they done this i made out to be brave for my husband i was not brave at all the op took 8 hours i don't remember any of it i lost 3 days when i was in recovery they told my husband that he could talk to me but i would not reply so he held my hand and started to talk to me he told me that i tried to pull the tube out three times which up set him very much he said that he didn't like me looking like that so he had to go home but now he cant get this out of his head and he see this every day and night he cries about this all the time and i don't know our to help him it where we had been apart for for all them days and what happened in the recovery room can anyone help with this on what we can do to get past this my husband crys every night to sleep and i dont know what to do he even says that it should have been him that had the heart attcak and died


  • Seeing a loved one in such a horrible state can really scare a person. Maybe it would be beneficial if he saw a therapist?
    ACDF C4-5 June 23rd, 2011

    Another surgery in the near future. I am 26 years old.

    Current Meds- Norco 7.5/325, Cymbalta 60mg, Gabapentin, Adderall 20mg
  • I think you need to reinforce to your husband that you are home now and that it all worked out, so you can live a long life together. It is important to remember our past but not live in it, but rather live in the present and dream about the future. Maybe setting some goals for you and your husband of things your going to do, will help him think of more positive things. HIs thinking he should have been there and died, well the point is you didn't die, so why even talk about that. A lot of family when they see a loved one sick and helpless think it should be them not the person laying there, but the fact is we can't change whom is the sick one, and whom it happened to. But your alive so I think you need to begin planning your future and enjoying each other. One thing in life is everyone is going to pass away it is a given, but we can't all sit around wondering when it is going to happen or think about it, or life will pass us by. So enjoy each other and do things together, even if your not feeling so well yet, and can't do much. Play some board games or cards together and turn the event into something you shared together, just from different perspectives.
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  • Depression cure:

    Do take deep breath in fresh air,
    Do yoga,
    Eat a balanced diet,
    Take multivitamin regularly,
    Share your problems with your family......
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