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So Pissed Off

ldavis2333lldavis2333 Posts: 108
edited 06/11/2012 - 9:01 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
I saw the surgeon again today. He refused to give me an order for a walker last week. I need a sturdier walker because I still can barely stand up straight, leave alone walk. Both my Primary Care and Surgeon are giving me a very hard time on pain medication. I am about 8 weeks post surgery and both are determined to take me off of all pain meds. The last script my Primary Care was for 4 Vicodin a day. I had already told her that I wasn't able to function on four. I had no other choice but to go up to six a day. When I saw the surgeon he told me to stop taking it because that could be causing my balance issues. I explained that I have been having balance issues for years and was seeing a Neurologist. I told him that my husband was in very poor health and I had to take care of him and I can't function without pain medication. He then turns around and says to me that he is not surprised I am still in pain. Then he said instead of giving me the order for the walker, he wants me off pain meds. At the end of the visit he gave me the order so I could use it to get off the pain meds. When my Primary Care comes back from vacation and I have to call for another script, I'm going to have to listen to it all over again.

Now, I am really angry. I can't stand playing all of these head games with all of my Doctor's.WTF Nothing I say matters. It looks like I am going to have to find a new Pain Management Doctor again. I live in the Boston area if anyone has any suggestions. It really pisses me off that they are not even considering what I have to say and try to tell me I don't know what I am talking about.

I believe the fact that I am a middle aged woman and overweight has a lot to do with it. I know several men with chronic pain and they don't go through this. Their Doctor's don't seem to have a problem with it. I would stop taking Vicodin if they could give me something else that worked. I really am at my wits end here. ~X( ~X( ~X(
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Comments

  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,385
    ...for all the pain and aggravation you are going through. Finding a new doc does sound like a good idea and hopefully that would not be too difficult for you to do.

    I would like to say your situation is simply unbelievable, but I have heard similar situations over and over again. Not sure what the problem is. Why would anyone care if you need a walker? I don't understand why non chemical comfort measure is out of the question.

    It is still truly unbelievable esp. the more it is happening! Not sure if you have access, but sometimes a social worker or someone as patient advocate, could help plead your case and have it resolved more quickly without added stress to your life.

    And/or work backwards with asking for a little more help in caring for your husband. Not sure if new health care stuff happening or what, but seems like docs can't always remember why they got into medicine...to help and do no harm. And not all docs, of course.

    You are having me thank God for my pain doc, he's also a neurologist, and he is so helpful to me. And I know there are many good docs out there.

    I pray a helpful doc, or other professional support person enter your life to help you navigate the system and get the help you deserve.

    Please keep us posted with how things work out for you.

    Take care!
    Sue
    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • Different thought - it sounds like your main goal is to help your husband. I feel for you. Have you asked for advice on how to help you take care of you? I only ask this because I sense you are desperate to do what it takes to take care of your husband vs. improve your health so you can take care of your husband.

    You know what I mean?
    Pain meds are needed so you can function to take care of your husband. Not a good reason to take them. It means you are quite possibly trying to do too much.

    Walker? Now that's just plain silly that he gave you a hard time. I think they have to know that you rely on the walker (a non-addictive tool) to function for yourself and not have to rely on another individual. You want a new walker so you feel stable on your own.

    I can see the doctor's concern on the pain meds because they are very addictive meds. But he should work with you on a plan to get off them OR find the right mix so you aren't taking more than the 'agreed' upon dosage.

    Perhaps a new doctor is a good idea.
    But, you also need help with your husband. Do you have friends, family, church that you can reach out to? How about local agency for 'at home' hospice like support (where someone can volunteer to come to the home). Often time church groups or even local food pantry groups can help with cooked meals/grocery shopping. Church group may also be able to come 'sit' with your husband if you need to do stuff.

    I believe you are in pain and need meds but to rely on them to take care of your husband means you are trying to do too much too fast. I know you probably feel you have no choice so I'm trying to offer suggestions on how you can rethink this. I think you need to put off your husband surgery if it is not life threatening OR have him get the surgery but find others that can help. I only suggest it because in the end, you both could get hurt.

    I hope some of this helps.
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  • I didn't go to the Dr. and ask him for more medication. He wouldn't call the walker in without seeing me. He knows that I use a cane. I told him that I went up on the medication my Primary Care gave me and what the dose was. Maybe he thought I was asking him for it. I don't know. I was trying to convey that I am still in a lot of pain. The only reason I want a sturdier walker is so that it will help me stay up on my feet and I can walk longer. I need to build some strength in my legs. I am thinking that a couple of months, I should be on my own. I mentioned the situation at home trying to say that I am not at home laying in bed all day.

    My husband is going for a bone scan in the morning. When he gets back, we are going to his Doctor because he needs the ulcer drained asap. Most of his foot is turning black and it has to be gangrene. They will attempt to clean it out tomorrow. His surgery really can not wait much longer. I wouldn't be the least surprised if they say he has to have the foot amputated tomorrow. It looks septic now.

    We go to our local food pantry and they are great. He probably will need a visiting nurse to take care of the wound at least. My husband grew up in a strict religious family and is against going to the church. His family is still totally involved in the church and because we don't attend they're not interested in helping us. It is also too far away from us.

    My daughter came over yesterday to tell us that she is not moving to CA. Her boyfriend was able to come to an agreement with the company that he can live here and they will hire someone there that will be working for him. He'll have to do some traveling back and fourth. I broke down and cried HAPPY tears. I was completely heartbroken and honestly believed she was going. This was also weighing heavily on my mind.

    I am concerned about taking on more than I can handle. I don't want to jeopardize my own recovery and as you say the both of us will be in trouble. Let's see what tomorrow brings and say some prayers.



  • I can't believe the Drs want you off meds already. I would ask for a referral to a Pain Management Dr. from the Surgeon. I hope your Primary Dr. will help you out until you can find a PM Dr.

    Where I live I had a Nurse from the Government health community come in to see if they could help me at home but of course it would've taken a long time for an assessment for Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy to come in and help and I'm doing fairly well.

    Ask your husband's Dr. to give you the Community Health number so you can get some help at home for him. I wish I knew more about the USA Government Health agencies but I live in Canada.

    Maybe your Family Dr. will help order the Rollater walker for you or what about your Neurologist?

    I'm really mad about this for you also you just had surgery you really need a Pain Management Dr. and your Surgeon can order this for you so you don't have to wait until your Dr. gets back from vacation. Sending up a prayer. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I can't believe what a pompous a-hole this surgeon is. I dropped the script off at my Primary Care's office and they faxed it to where it needed to go. They called me back and said something about my Primary Care's office providing the billing or her approval.

    I just spent the afternoon taking my husband to the Dr. for the gangrene. He's a horrible patient. He was being a jerk to me so I got up and walked out to wait in the car. About an hour later someone brought him out in a wheelchair. He had to go to the ER at the hospital closer to home. We argued half the way there and his blood pressure was 210/91. They have him on IV's now. I don't know what is going to happen to his foot. I am relieved he's there. I am so done,

    I have enough medication until my Primary Care get's back. I am hoping she can be a little more understanding under the circumstances. If not, I am really ready to explode. If she won't help me, she's going to have to find someone who will and I don'i mean epidurals.

    Mentally and physically I am in so much pain and drained. I appreciate your concern.
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  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,385
    ...tears. It sounds like one of the most frustrating days ever!

    I can't even imagine the pressure you and your husband are under. Hopefully now while in hospital you can ask..cry if you need to...to get some help.

    When you say gangrene..I think involved dressing changes to say the least. Maybe you are trying to do just more than any person can do alone.

    For myself, I sometimes think of the pain and different situations I find myself in and I tend to ..like.. minimize things...thinking this should be no problem.

    But if I think of one of my children or dear friends under the same situations...I can cry thinking of the weight of the issues being carried alone.

    If that helps you at all to think of yourself as a dear loved one and ask for as much help as possible and let people know you are near exhaustion. I find people to be surprisingly full of assistance when they finally realize how great the need is.

    My heart goes out to you and I hope you able to rest soon tonight.
    Sue
    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • I am just so beat. I took my husband for a Doctor's appointment Thursday afternoon.The gangrene was very bad. I had to take him to Faulkner Hospital to be admitted immediately. He was transferred to the Brigham Friday and was in surgery Friday night to remove 2 toes. His Peripheral Artery Disease is very bad along with his kidneys. Options for treatment are very limited and risky.

    Have to admit it makes me forget about my own pain. I can't even feel better when I lay down. I told my husband that I won't be going to the hospital tomorrow. It's just too much. I am grateful that he's getting the best Care possible.

    I understand this is a Forum for Back Pain. I sometimes feel I shouldn't talk about my husband's
    condition. Life didn't stop when I had back surgery 7 weeks ago. I am going to have to find a way through this and take care of myself too.
  • I am just so beat. I took my husband for a Doctor's appointment Thursday afternoon.The gangrene was very bad. I had to take him to Faulkner Hospital to be admitted immediately. He was transferred to the Brigham Friday and was in surgery Friday night to remove 2 toes. His Peripheral Artery Disease is very bad along with his kidneys. Options for treatment are very limited and risky.

    Have to admit it makes me forget about my own pain. I can't even feel better when I lay down. I told my husband that I won't be going to the hospital tomorrow. It's just too much. I am grateful that he's getting the best Care possible.

    I understand this is a Forum for Back Pain. I sometimes feel I shouldn't talk about my husband's
    condition. Life didn't stop when I had back surgery 7 weeks ago. I am going to have to find a way through this and take care of myself too.
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