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Neck Fixed but heart is broken

bluemax01bbluemax01 Posts: 21
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:02 AM in New Member Introductions
I had a 3 level ACDF done 2 weeks ago. For some reason I just now figured out that I can't even pick up my one year old granddaughter. She only weighs about 12 pounds. My family is afraid that I might hurt myself if I do the wrong things. Right now I am wondering why iI even had this done. A month ago I had a pain in My shoulder and arm, but now I can't even enjoy my grand daughter. Please tell me this is worth it
I am finally off narcotics and am on a bone growth stimulator. But it is my heart that is broken.


  • Please forgive me if I am just having a post surgery Pity party.
    Maybe just being off of the hydrocodone for one day is wearing on me
  • No pity party I had a 1 year old son that I couldn't hold or have sit in my lap I understand how you feel. Not having the ability to hold family close is hard I have been there and I am willing to bet many others do as well. It does get better it just takes time.
    Live one day at a time and do it with no regrets. I hold my head up high with pride to the fact that i wont let my injury beat me.
    Lumbar surgery 2009
    Cervical fusion C4 to C7 2009
    Neurostimulator 2010
    Heart ablation 2011
    Lumbar fusion L4 to S1 2012 and now L1 2 3 and 4 are split and bulging.
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  • Hi I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your suffering, I myself are new to this site, never been on a forum, as I too struggle constantly with pain, my grandson was born 2 months before my accident, and I was so over the moon with my little angel, but then I couldnt even hold him unless my daughter put him on my knee while his was asleep, but he is alot bigger now and I can give him little cuddles, and it does get better we might not be able to be super Nannies, but just keep loving them and supporting them, a cuddle a day from my little angel gets me to the next day, take care and keep smiling.
  • Thanks so much for your very kind replies.
  • edited by tam, spam.
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  • I just had a laundering and discectomy on l4l5. I have a 3yr old and a 10yr old. Both of them like to snuggle on movie nights and I'm unable to tuck my 3yr old into bed at night due to the pain and the bending. If she puts even a little pressure on my lap it sends pain coursing down my legs. I can certainly sympathize with you. I'll keep you in my prayers and if you need someone to vent at let me know.
  • My nephew is four this summer-- and I had never held him unless someone placed him in my lap. Then, (no kids of my own), I was terrified to drop him, have him slip and not be able to 'save' him.
    So, I didn't hold him. I did share toys, read books, took in his little baby smell- and just loved him.
    I thought I wouldn't have a 'close' bond with him because of the lack of physical contact.
    Well, I was very wrong! We have an amazing relationship-- and unlike others in our family, we can simply look at each other and communicate--- I think that is because we had to learn a different way, from the 'normal'--- whatever normal is!!!-- physical contact times.
    It is sad at times, yes. But, it is not going to stop amazing, wonderful and life-long relationships we can create with our little ones in our lives.
    I still just howl when I wink at him... just a wink.. and he giggles and runs around me-- and is so very kind and gentle for a little boy!!! , well, all are kind.. lol.. but he is sure gentle with me. He knows.. no running into Auntie.. etc... gentle hugs is what I need and love.....
    and here I thought I would not have a close relationship with him, not like his sister whom I was healthier when she came into our family.
    Love is love. Holding or not. that is my point!:)
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