Does anyone else experience a degree of guilt around their chronic pain? Do you struggle with the invisible aspect of chronic pain and other people forgetting that you have a real, viable physical challenge that impact your life every day?
I have to grit my teeth and grid my aching loins every time I have to ask my partner to load the dishwasher, because I simply can't bear the pain of bending over to put that damn plate in the dishwasher drawer! I detest having to be "helpless" and it is probably been one of my greatest on -going personal challenges.
I have also struggled with asking my family to leave a party early because I am wiped out and gritting my teeth in pain. So many times in the past, I would say nothing ,grin and bear it. I am now less willing to just tolerate. However there is still nasty , annoying gremlin voice that plays the guilt card.
People who don't know my story assume I am healthy and strong because they don't live in this body and my scars are hidden by my normal looking attire.
I find people sometimes forget that this fire dragon lives in my body, breathing flames 24-7. Sometimes I feel it would be easier to be missing a leg so my physical issues would be considered legitimate.
Friends have gotten pissed off at me in the past, because I have backed out of social events at the last minute. I now let people know in advance that I may not be able to show up if I am having a bad pain day. My marriage ended over the issue that my husband at the time, not believe I was really in pain after 5 plus surgeries, and would ask him for help or to pass on a social event.
I am curious if other people have experienced these challenges and how you deal with it.