This is something that all of us at one time or another want.
While in Pain
We just started to experience spinal problems, pain and discomfort. Our family sees whats going on and soon our friends start to notice. We are scared, and depending on the level of our pain and at what stage, we could be very scared.
At first some of us may want sympathy. We want others to feel bad for us. We want to hear others tell us that they wish they could do something and are sorry we are in so much pain. At this point, we can become the focus of attention.
And depending on our pain level, we may like this.
Prior to Surgery
Finally after dealing with the pain, the decision was to have surgery. So now, we can really suck up the focus of attention.
The stock market may be low, the Yankees did not win the World Series, but its all about me. I am having surgery so I want everyone to pay me notice.
As we get closer to the surgery date, all of a sudden, we dont worry about being the focus of attention, instead, we have a reality check... Shoot, I am actually going to have this surgery! Fear sets in. We are not as much looking to be the focus of attention but are more concerned about how we are going to get through the surgery.
Ok, initially we are so drained, that we really dont give a rats blah about how we feel or how we are being treated. But soon, the strong medications start to leave and we start to feel some post surgery pain. Now, we are really looking to be the focus of attention. After all, we just had this surgery, we are in pain and we want everyone to feel sorry for us. We want sympathy. We want people to say Oh poor _such_such_name, I am so sorry that you are in pain, I hope you will start to feel better
Here is where we want everyone to feel sorry for us. After all, we cant do all the things we wanted to do. We are so limited.
We hurt, we cant move the way we used to, everything is a chore. So much discomfort, I cant find a comfortable way.
I start to go to Physical Therapy and it hurts, oh it hurts so bad. I start to curse the therapist. After all, isnt this suppose to help me, but instead it is causing more pain.
Please feel sorry for me, I was in pain before surgery, I had surgery and it was painful, now that I have started the recovery process, I am in more pain, every day... WHY, this is so unfair!!
So, my days as a downhill skier is over, I cant jump the moguls anymore. But I look at everyone else and they can all do those things and are getting better at it. This is so unfair! My life is over!
Ever find yourself in one of those phases and feeling the same way? So much of all of this has to do with education and reality. We didnt know what to really expect, even though the doctors and others told us. But its here and real.
Do you think if you knew everything about the surgery, the post surgical time and then the recovery time, would you feel the same.?
Do we want to be treated as losers?, those who no longer have a life or something to give?
Or do we want to be viewed as someone who has struggled but are willing to do whatever it takes to get back up on our feet?
Its easy for me to write about these different phases ot times, because I've been there and have experienced so many of them. Its easy for me to look back now and say I dealt with them all and came out ahead without hurting other folks feelings and without hurting myself.
How have you been treated?
How do you want to be treated?
Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences