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Do we really hear? Do we want to?

dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 11,348
Many times when we see medical professionals to get a diagnosis or help we not be actually hearing what is being said.

This is so true when it comes to a patient who is in pain, but all the diagnostic tests indicate that they shouldn't be in that type of pain. The doctor tells you this, but..

You didnt want to hear bad news about your problem and that you might need surgery, but you wanted to hear that your pain is justified! If you are not told this, then is it all in your head? Or is that what the doctor is thinking?

There are many ways this can be presented. For example, I will give you somethings that I went through this past week.
I have more pain at night when I sit. Its from my lower back down to my knees. The doctors and I both know that the multi level spinal stenosis is the cause for this pain. Nerve medication and muscle relaxers dont really help hear, so its always the use of some narcotic pain medication that is required. My doctor is fine with this, since my level of pain medications is relatively low (4 to 5 5mg Oxycodone IR daily).

When we talk about this, she is candid.... Ron, you and I both know that its the stenosis causing this, we dont need to do any diagnostic tests and we are not looking at any type of surgery for you I hear that, I understand that, but some where in my brain, I am saying to myself, Come on, there has to be a solution, I'll take surgery over nightly pain

But I know thats now what I want. So, I hear what the doctor is saying, but at times I dont really hear it or want to hear it.

I am not sure if this is making sense, or perhaps its because I am hearing what I want to hear!

Do you hear it?
Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • hello painhhello pain Posts: 69
    edited 01/16/2013 - 3:23 AM
    I think my brain does some weird selective hearing too...!
    But then many doctors do some weird communicating as well...

    It's strange, some things that I may have heard for years will not "sink in" and then suddenly "click" into place and then I realise that tho I've been "hearing" it before, I never really heard it...

    I read a post here the other day about someone explaining their experiences re "pelvic tilt" and although I've heard this so often, it suddenly "clicked" on a deeper level and I was like "Ohhhhh....!"

    My best friend and I call this "understanding things on a visceral level" - when the words or information finally "sink in"...

    I wish Drs were taught to communicate better and took more time for it in the appointments - cos when you think about how many years and how much effort often goes wasted, because we don't truly grasp/ hear the information we need, it's quite a shame...

    Of course, I pick my Drs according to their medical expertise... but for several years now, I have been picking them primarily on their ability to communicate well. I need to UNDERSTAND what they are telling me and I need them to UNDERSTAND what I am telling them.

    I love my Drs to have a sense of humour - I find that an invaluable tool in understanding things that are incredibly difficult to grasp - like the example you have named above Ron of "there doesn't seem to be any way to fix this"... I find my Dr's humour makes this understandable to me on a level that "serious talk" just doesn't capture the essence of...

    Happiness is your chronic pain being less than it usually is...

    Migraines and so many herniated discs (the same ones over and over) that I have literally stopped counting
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