Hello. I have posted elsewhere on these boards about my husband's condition with very few responses. Hopefully somewhere here can advise me.
We are both 64, married 41 years, very happy, both retired two years ago...all was going great until he herniated a disc at L2-L3 18 months ago. He had decompression surgery one year ago (doctor said it went perfectly and the nerve, though "beat up", sprung right back) and was left with a weak left quad muscle, which in turn caused osteoarthritis in his knee. He's had several rounds of physical therapy, faithfully does home exercises and uses a Kneehab electrical stimulator daily. According to him, there is never any improvement. Never a hopeful word. Since this injury, he has been a totally different person: depressed, anxious about going anywhere, feels worthless, reluctant to see doctors, etc.
It is not a pain issue. He can walk without a cane, manages to go up and down stairs. He just cannot deal with the "weak feeling in his quad" and the pulling feeling in his knee. He is negative, negative, negative. We go nowhere and he starts every day with the same almost angry-looking face. He constantly laments that this ever happened to him. According to him, we (my son and I) don't understand how this has impacted his life.
He saw his surgeon a week ago. His surgeon watched him walk and was very pleased with his progress and says my husband must give the recovery another year. He recommended counseling because my husband has not accepted any loss of mobility. He has started seeing his third psychologist. The first two he only saw twice. This one he will stay with longer...I will insist on that. (We don't want to resort to anti-depressants because of side effects.)
I cry on a regular basis because I have a very small suppport group and I have lost my best friend. Although I may sound like a whiner, it's very hard to live this way and listen to all this 24/7 for eighteen months. I have lost hope because my husband gives no hope. I am so angry with him for being so self-absorbed, selfish, and ungrateful...the doctors have told him that most of their other patients would change places with him in a heartbeat as I'm sure many of those reading this post would. I am so angry...if I had a place to go, I would go there with one suitcase, tonight. I don't drive but I don't care..I live near the airport. Some day I'm going to do it. I can't take much more.
Thanks for listening.