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Fentanyl Help



  • You have been very brave & very honest here. I can only start to imagine the courage you had to summon to admit your addiction & illegal activity. Let's be honest, even if they double the strength of your patches & you follow instruction & use them properly you will never get close to the high you are experiencing by chewing them. Considering increasing your dose is like giving a heroin addict a cupboard full of the stuff & telling them to just use a little each day. I know that I wouldn't have the strength to resist cutting one in your situation. I've been on high doses of narcotic medications (used correctly) & no quantity will completely eliminate your pain.
    I consider myself fortunate that I've never been tempted to abuse my meds. I don't know what it feels like to achieve a pain free escape, it will be incredibly difficult to forget that you have this option. We're very hard on addicts here at times but I admit if I didn't have little children & I knew there was a way to eliminate the nightmare of chronic pain, I would be very, very tempted!
    The truth of your situation has led you to us. I think you know that this has all gone too far & you need professional help. Addiction is a sickness & you need the correct specialists to help heal you. Please consider your addictive nature before starting with methadone. It has a very long half life & you could overdose very easily if you abuse that medication. I don't know if a methadone program will be available for you. Please think very long & hard if it's not. I would not like to see you with a months supply tempting you. You are very lucky to be alive. Please don't jump from the frying pan into the fire!
    Osteoarthritis & DDD.
  • Would you mind sharing what your spine condition is that led you to being prescribed fentanyl originally? Has your back deteriorated? When did you last have diagnostic tests? Let's not forget that you have 2 problems, chronic pain & addiction. Do you still need narcotic therapy to help manage your pain? Did you sign a medication contract with your prescribing doctor?

    I'm very concerned that you know how to obtain narcotics illegally & you have those contacts. I'm worried that your doctor could refuse to treat you when you come clean & that could lead to deeper illegal use with tragic results.

    Please keep talking here. I'm happy to help in any way I can, without judgements. I've never been in your situation but I can understand how it all started. Thank you for sharing. People will read this..you could be saving lives in the future!
    Osteoarthritis & DDD.
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  • I thank all of you very very much. I've just read all of the comments, and I'm so thankful for each and everyone of you, I really am. I have a hell of a story to tell. I"m born and raised on the Indian rez, drugs are everywhere. I have used everything under the sun at one point in my life when growing up. But I never let anything out of control and it's been 25 yrs since any illegal stuff or drinking. My condition is from work. I have destroyed nerves in my back and spine, lifting anything hurts bad, sleeping is horrible as I have to change beds about every 3 nights. I chew this patch for pain, and it works very well, but I also seem to get a little bit of energy. I like this because I can get up and do things instead of sitting all day with nothing to do. I was used to 12 hour days, now I just sit and look out the window and chew this patch. The guilt is getting to me bad, I know I need something but I feel as if I enjoy doing it that its wrong. I'm more guilty about what I'm doing then anything. But I try to tell myself that I do need this. I really would like it to work by just putting it back on, but it just doesn't seem to work for me that way. That's the position I'm in. And yes, I think my Dr would be upset, he is a very good guy.
  • SarahLindeauSarahLindeau Posts: 766
    edited 04/23/2014 - 4:31 PM
    I remember receiving an injection of fentanyl during the chaos of my delivery of my daughter, before they opted for an emergency c section. I know how it feels- it's a peaceful, lingering aura of no pain and no worry. For about five minutes, I stopped screaming and had an out of body feeling. And it also scared me. That feeling is so dangerous and to people with an already addictive nature, it can open a door (or should I say trap door), into which you fall; down the rabbit hole.

    From what I've read about you, I think you are in a place right now where you will either make the right choice and fight to get off this stuff for good, or you will end up dead. I really don't see any other way out. And the fighting it is going to be a whole lot harder than just continuing what you're doing and dying.

    You have to make a conscious decision that you say "NO MORE!" and you MEAN it. As others have said, you need to enroll help to make this stand. And you need to never, ever put the fentanyl patch in your mouth again. You'll need to have a friend that will keep an eye on you and hold you to your commitment. And you need to reach out to a narcotics anonymous support group.

    Im proud of you that you acknowledge your problem. That is the first step. Now you need to move on to the next one.
    2015: Thoracic protrusions C7-T1, T3-4, T6-8
    Dec'13: 360FusionL4-S1 w/bone graft
    2013: 3x2-level disc injections: 12mo surgery postponement
    Dec'12: DiscogramL4-S1
    Sep/Oct'12: Bi-lateral Rhizo AblationsL4- S1
  • Sarah, you are right and I know it, even as I sit here looking a this god***n patch with a piece in my mouth. I just can't seem to stop??? I'm going to make a appt. for next week with a addiction person. Just to see what my option s are. I'm terrified of withdrawals, I have went 3 days without and it was the worst thing ever, and I mean ever! I can't do it, there is no way I can. I have a bad heart and maybe its just the withdrawal, but it seems like I was close to a HA, when I went to ER, my BP was 170 over 116. So they put a patch on me right away. I just can't get over what I've done to myself? I truly never expected this. And what's really scary is I know this can kill me but I just seem to not care sometimes and keep chewing away. Fricking dumb, I know. I'm going to do what you all have told me, I'm going to try and not put it in my mouth, but first I need a plan with a Dr to move forward and do it right. Can anyone tell me how Suboxon and Methodone work. It is worth going from one devil to another? Sorry for the spelling mistakes, I was a terrible English student. lol
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  • Firstly I must admit Fentanyl as a patch never worked for me. I waited the 3 days for it to kick in and it never did. Maybe it was because I would have a shower and water got in the patch.

    The only experience I have had with suboxone is a girl who was staying with me was sent by her parents to an expensive private clinic for withdrawal. The whole time she was at my place I had no idea she was taking drugs. It was one of the ground rules of her staying. It cost her parents a small fortune and as soon as she came back she was back into the same circle of friends and off looking for drugs again. I thought she was had quit and gave her money, later I found out she was buying street drugs, so I had to ask her to leave as she was putting my job in jeopardy as my security clearance needed to stay in tact. It was before my accident, so there were no meds in my house, - she also stole things which I eventually got back but she must have hocked them.

    I think in Australia the methodone program works by people going and getting their methadone under supervision each day. It is a highly addictive drug as well but it is free and keeps people out of their old circle of friends and the continual search for expensive and dangerous, as sometimes other substances are added, street drugs.

    So they would probably convert your exisiting fentanyl dose into the equivalent dose of methadone. Then as you want to you gradually decrease the amount. For the final withdrawal stages they put you in a clinic and you withdraw with other people who also have addictions. Therefore you have a support group around you outside you normal circle of friends. Here they have group therapy, lectures on addiction so you understand what it is, good meals, forms of therapy like painting, so they keep you busy all day with other people who are getting off as well. Bit like the Betty Ford Clinic but in Australia they are free. I guess the cost of the clinics is more than paid for by the reduced crime rate of addicts.

    Withdrawing from opiates is very difficult but I think they give you other meds to help with withdrawals. If you really want to withdraw you do need to start again away from your circle of friends and make new ones, if people don't do that they seem to slip back into the same old life.

    Withdrawal will be difficult so you shouldn't need to do it alone without support. The other thing is you will have to find a happy medium for your physical pain.

    It is going from one devil to the other but at least the devil is supervised and you have other people to help you get through it. It's in a clinic or hospital so you have nurses and doctors to monitor you and keep an eye on you. It probably takes about 3 weeks at the end to get the drug completely out of your system - but if there is a clinic close by you should have a support group to help you when you feel tempted again.

    Good luck, you are brave to be open about it, I really hope you fight this and win - other people need to help you.
  • addiction and in some cases, also to treat pain......Both medications work on the same opiate receptors in the brain that opiates /drugs do, however they block those receptors so that the DOC ( drug of choice) can not reach the receptors...this is a very basic explanation.
    Suboxone is a newer drug and can be used in one of two ways for someone with addiction and pain- used at LOW doses, it helps prevent withdrawal symptoms and also has pain relieving properties, so it is a good choice for someone with a pain condition and addiction/misuse issues.
    In this situation it is one that I would strongly recommend that Big talk to his doctor about........I sent him a pm regarding suboxone before I read the rest of this thread, so in his particular situation, staying on it for a while might be his best option.

    Methadone is a drug that was and still is commonly used to treat pain, and addiction/misuse......it has a long half life, as does suboxone , but there are issues in certain patients such as a condition known as long Q-T syndrome that effect the heart. Given that he has a heart condition, it probably is not an option.

    I would also strongly recommend that Big seek and find a NA group near by, because withdrawal is just the beginning, it is important, more so than anything else to change the way you view the patterns of behavior that brought you to this point, and work hard at changing your life so that you don't go down that road again.
    Support and working at a program will help him do that. You can start by having an honest discussion with your doctor.
    And Big, no , increasing the amount of dosage of fentanyl would only serve to feed the addiction and make it even worse....please don't do that...........
  • Thoracic spine pain is right. You cannot do this alone. If you do, you will most likely fail. Get the help you need and the support group to get you through the difficult times ahead.

    Do you have family nearby? Do you have kids? You need to make a promise to them that you are going to fight as hard as you can. Find a motivation to help you. Think about how devastated they would be if you died.
    2015: Thoracic protrusions C7-T1, T3-4, T6-8
    Dec'13: 360FusionL4-S1 w/bone graft
    2013: 3x2-level disc injections: 12mo surgery postponement
    Dec'12: DiscogramL4-S1
    Sep/Oct'12: Bi-lateral Rhizo AblationsL4- S1
  • One last observation, you CAN stop chewing the patches, you just don't want to .......is it easy, no , most assuredly NOT, but will power, and determination go a long way in battling anything, and getting through withdrawal, is part determination, and part will power. Thousands before you have done it, and you almost ( had you hung in there one more day) would have made it through the worst of the withdrawal, and been on the road to stopping.
    Beating addiction is going to be tough, you have allowed yourself to believe that the fentanyl somehow makes things "better" in your life but by your own words, you used to work 12 hour days, and now all you do is sit and watch as life is passing you by....how is it that fentanly improved your life again? It's led you to illegal activity that can and eventually will wind up with either your death or jail.......or both. You are lying to yourself, the people who surround you and care about you, , your doctor, family , friends, co workers....and worry constantly about getting the next fix......how is it that fentanyl has improved your life?
    Wanting to change is half the battle, the other half is doing what needs to be done to make that happen. I know that you want to make the right choice, otherwise you wouldn't be here, asking for help...........we've given you suggestions, now it up to YOU to take whatever steps are necessary to help yourself. You deserve better than what you are giving yourself.
  • You guys are all great!! Love all of ya!!
    Here's what I've been doing the last few days, I know it's not the way I should be doing it but it's at least in the right direction in y opinion for me. I have cut these patches in half, instead of chewing on a 75 or 100 patch, I'm tapering down. I'm going to beat this devil, and I've been good so far. When I get my 75 refilled, I'm going to cut them in half too. once I get down to the last 5 I've told myself I am putting it on my back and leaving it there....period. Around that time I will have my house to myself for about 4 days, so just a little alone time to not feel so great and not a bunch of teenagers coming and going I think I will be able to do this. I can say with 100% certainty that if I am able to get myself off this stuff that I will NEVER do this again, no matter how bad it hurts. I hate it that much. You all have been so good to me on here. It so nice to see others who have beat this and listen to the help you all offer. I'm going to this! I know I am!!!
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