Hey. This is my first post so bear with me. I have been dealing with health issues for over ten years. I am only 44 but feel like I'm 90. Chronic pain has consumed my life. I'm tired all the time, depressed, and in pain of All kinds (muscles, tendons, joints, nerves , etc) every one around me seems to be tired of my ailments so I try to keep it to myself. They seem to dismiss me or even get aggravated when I'm not feeling well. They don't want to hear it
I have cervical and thoracic arthritis and bone spurs, mixed.connective tissue disease, Hashimoto's, multi modular goiter, small sensory neuropathy, raynauds, tremors, chronic sinusitis, allergies, chronically anemic, gerd, sleep apnea, major depressive disorder, etc. I have been told for years by multiple doctors that I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue but I am not comfortable with those diagnosis because there is no way to difinitevely test for these. Plus my mother was diagnosed with fibro when I was young and she was never around because she was in bed And sleeping all the time or at the dr. I refuse to be a non existent parent and grandparent. I push myself to be there for my family but sometimes I just can't do it.
I am so sick of living this way that I have been suicidal. I have voluntarily checked myself into mental treatment centers three times for a week at a time. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing I will permanetly impact my children husband and grand children's lives. I find myself resenting them at times because I have to stay alive and suffer.
I have tried numerous doctors, medications, exercises, supplements and prayer. I began seeing a holistic professional who uses NAET and have found temporary relief At times. I am desperate for some type of relief. I have even contemplated using marijuana to help ease symptoms but I am a recovering alcoholic and have been sober 18 years so I don't want to mess that up.
I take so many medications a day I feel like it is a part time job. I'm embarrassed for anyone to see my stash of pills. I've tried to eliminate any that are not life threatning ( allergy med, acid reflux) but then I am miserable when those symptoms come back
I recently had a brain MRI, ct scan of sinuses, mylegram of cervical and thoracic spine, Emg. I am going to a new rhuemAtologist tomorrow and seeing my holistic lady tonight. We have filed bankruptcy a few years ago and the medical bills are piling up agAin. I am a hairdresser and it adds to my neck, shoulder and back pain but we need my income. I took this week off to take care medical appointment and tests. On December 18 ( my bday) I had to leave work in the middle of a perm because my hands would not close and my tremors were terrible. I went to a mental treatment center for a week and started seeing the holistic lady. She said I had mercury toxicity from my fillings and I went to a holistic dentist who changed out all my filling to porcelain. Two thousand dollars. My tremors improved significantly but are still very noticeable at times
I have trouble taking prescription meds because I seem to get weird side effects. I changed my pain med to a fentanyl patch last month and I felt like I had Alzheimer's. I cut everyone's hair too short and u even and I couldn't get my hands to do what my brain was telling it to do. Plus it took me over double time to perform any hair service. I probably lost some clients who think I'm strung out On drugs. I guess it was drug related but I didn't relate the mental decline to the patch until it was too late. My neurogist did the brain MRI to check for multiple sclerosis but it was clean. The patch helped somewhat with the pain so now I'm dealing with extreme pain again. I can't take the stronger narcotics because I already have chronic constipation and when I took percocet or morphine it totally paralyzed my colon. I took magnesium citrate, five doses of exlax, five enemas, suppositories and more and had to get amitiza ( very expensive) because it was over a week and I had t had any results except I did go have a colonic done but was still miserable.
I don't care if they label it "crazy hypocondriac syndrome" and no one believes me. I just want some relief. Sorry for my ranting But I guess that's what this is for. God bless