Thank you very much for reading:
As you can tell by the time of posting, I'm writing this at night, in bed and truly fed up. Today was a bad day for pain.
I've lived with discomfort, eventually blossoming into full-blown chronic pain since I was 14. I'm now 19 and thoroughly tired of living like this. Like many people, I wasn't diagnosed properly with Scheurmanns until it was too late, this combined with a never ending stream of incompetent NHS administration has led me to believe I will never get better, or live a 'normal life'.
I'm sorry to rant but I need just one person to truly empathise, rather than offer some hollow support.
I'd been dependant on Codeine for about three years until February when I gave it up (and none since) because although I could still control my intake, I knew I was using it to hide from other things in my life. But now, I still take the usual ibuprofen, paracetemol and methocrbamol. Along with bouts of amitriptyline.
I have a very stable family who help, but have lost patience with me, and fail to appreciate my pain. It's not their fault, and whilst my best friend is one of the few people who truly understands, how do I continue to burden him with constant complaints? I already feel guilty when I say I can't go on a night out because standing up for too long hurts.
My brother who is a couple of years older than me loves to go to the gym and body build. I use to run long distances before the pain got too bad, and I miss that. I want to wake up early, go for a run, go to the gym and be proud of my body. Instead, I'm ashamed.
And I know this is all relative, I truly do, but when I have a bad day, I need someone to turn to, and I hope I find help on this forum.
Thank you all.