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AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,578
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:18 AM in Matters of the Heart
Not really, but damn! I, like most of you, hurt 24/7...Have just started the Opana ER and read it takes a while to start working round the clock so I was/am having a lot of pain, especially with the rain...May have to call about breakthrough meds, but I'll wait and see...But I digress! I told them my neck pain is bad and some days it makes me cranky, I don't want to be, but it is what it is...Some days I am happier than others and there is a lot of other crap going on right now that I burst into tears sometimes...But I share my office with 2 other guys, and one of them keeps telling me to "cheer up", "mind over matter" and "you can't hurt that bad"! It's driving me insane! I don't know what to do, some times I just don't feel like talking and even though I'm cranky I will still make the effort...Then he says, "you're too young for all that crap" like my age is supposed be in direct correlation to my pain?!

I know he's probably trying to help, but no, it drives me nuts! I wish I had my own office, then I wouldn't be in with other people all the time and have to be Miss Suzy Sunshine all week! I just wish more people took the time or could understand what it is like to hurt all the time, no matter what you do...My coping abilities are at a low this time, and then he says, watch when you get off of work you won't have any pain at all! I'm so sure! Are you flippin' kidding me?

At least I have a 90 minute massage booked for tomorrow, hopefully that will make me feel better!


  • I know what you mean.......... Is not easy for non spiney's to understand our issues! Do not kill him, jail is lonely and cold or so I hear! :P Just let him know that you sometimes hurt so much that you don't feel like talking and to please understand.... he might not, but what else can u do? Smack him???? not a good idea either! ;)
  • He sounds like a total jerk! We really need to remember that somebody that has never really had any major pain has no idea at all what it is like. Kind of like depression. People that have never had it will never understand it. They think that you should just get yourself up and get over it. We can not understand what we have never felt or experienced to the fullest so it makes people say dumb things sometimes. But, I am sorry that you are dealing with these jerks on top of your pain. They could still show some type of human compassion.
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  • Some days he is good, some days he is bad...He understands headaches and that I had migraines/tension headaches 24/7 for the past 3 months until my PM did those trigger point injections! But the rest, I don't get why he doesn't get it! I know he kind of means well, and wants to make me smile, but seriously? It will stop hurting when I get off of work? NO WAY!!
  • I'm sorry for your pain and issues, people can be so ignorant, I've had total strangers come up to me in a store and say "smile" "what could be so bad" give me a break you don't know me from Adam and your going to tell me to smile, you have no idea how I'm feeling, all I can say is try and just ignore them, it's not worth explaining anything to that kind of person~

  • Hiya fancypants,

    This must be driving you crazy! I had some issues recently with a family member who was saying that my pain was "psychological". I was so hurt by that I can't begin to tell you. I spoke my physiotherapist about it and here was her advice. Next time you see the people who clearly don't understand, ask them if they've ever been to the dentist and had the drill catch a nerve whilst doing a filling. Most people have experience that. If they say yes, then tell them that is what your pain feels like 24/7. That usually puts into terms they can relate to. I'm not sure what your pain feels like because I'm a lumbar surgery bunny, but currently something is aggravating all the nerves down both of my legs, and it hurts from my waist to my toes all the time, relentless. People have no idea about the severity this pain can be, or even how we can manage to cope with it day in day out. And no disrespect to men, but they really do seem to have an entirely different concept of what pain is! (Sorry guys, I expect a barrage of abuse for that one!)

    Try not to get cranky with them, nobody can understand this unless they have suffered it. Just try to put it in terms they can relate too and maybe they will get it - without the need for assault charges :D

    Hang in there... Big hugs, Spicey :)
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  • That's right Spicey we men do have a different concept of pain. We can take it better.(JUST KIDDING!) I have seen women take more pain then men. I had a guy I work with tell me that I was faking my back pain just so I could get time off. Needless to say I never took one day off until my surgery. I saw him this weekend for the first time in about 2 months and he saw my cane and had the testicular fortitude to tell me that I was milking my "FAKE" back injury pretty well. I stood up and showed him the scar for my operation and he was just like oh maybe you weren't faking it. So anyone who tells you that your faking it or the pain will go away when you get off work has NEVER had any real pain in there life. Those are the ones who drive me nuts.

  • Sorry men out there, but it is so true that men are babies! I remember when I had my wrist broken, 2 guys got in a fight and I was in the wrong place, they were like, rub some dirt on it! Cause of course the ER missed the fracture and it wasn't caught until a year later and by then it had turned into arthritis, but the men acted like I was being a big baby! Then they get a splinter and turn into big babies...But we're supposed to walk it off!
  • I'm so glad that at least some women out there are learning this fancy! :)
  • I had the misfortune to have a co-worker like that for several years. I got so fed up with his attitude and his comments that I just told him one day (and it was a day that I was in no short supply of pain that kind that really agg-ed on my attitude right back at him) that if he didnt shut his mouth that I would go to HR and file harassment charges/complaint on him. Needless to say that shut him up fast and for good! Its not a great course of action but if you have to you just have to! No one deserves to be treated that way and if its enough to affect your work or your ability to do your work, then its enough to file a complaint. And you can also tell him that you are giving him the benefit of this "warning" ahead of time because you think overall he is a good guy but you have asked him more times than you care for to stop and you cant take anymore and if he wont listen to you, then you have no other choice. You dont deserve to have to endure that at all and especially in the workplace where co-workers are supposed to be professional at all times. Making rude and hurtful comments about others is not professional no matter how you slice it. It's not that you want to be a cry baby but enough's enough! just try to talk to him civil but let him know you mean business but dont want to have to go that route. Sometimes even good friends need a wake up call.

    hope this helps!
  • I completey understand your frusteration. I get crap like that from everyone. Somedays I just hide because if one more person tells me how this will make it better I know I will burst into tears.... They are only trying to help but they don't realize that you are past the point of simple suggestions.....

    I have a friend who was worried about my vicaden use or abuse. She pulled me aside and said vicaden can be addictive- her husband had a herniated disc once (because we were at an all day on your feet seminar I had taken 2 in 10 hours and she watched me). I need to be careful not to get addicted. I was a little po'd that she had the nerve to try to warn me about pain meds..... Now I am secretive when I take my meds outside of the home.

    As far as men..... My husband is a tough man, very physically strong, emotionally handicap.... I used to have very painful TOM (before I discovered yaz)..... He admitted that if he was bleeding from the body for a week he would admit himself into the hospital.... He will not take an aspirin for a head ache unless the docotor tells him to- stupider than a doorknob..... One time he fell at work on his elbow. I told him to go to the ER for an xray heck it is WC they will pay. He waited like 2 weeks- in terrible pain before he finally went to the hospital. In those 2 weeks he worked and complained but wouldn't take an advil. After the doctor told him it was injured he couldn't do anything.....Make a sandwich, get a glass of water, anything I tell you...... It took about 6 more weeks before he managed to start taking care of himself. BTW he bruised the bursa.


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