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Why won't they help me? stunned, sad, hopeless, annoyed

2young4this22young4this Posts: 5
edited 10/15/2014 - 3:34 PM in Chronic Pain
After many years of untreated sciatic pain, I had the worst flare up of my life last August. I didn't have a doctor. A few years earlier I sought help and was accused of being a drug seeker. This made me angry and I told the doctor that via nasty voicemail. I decided I'd rather have pain than be treated like a junkie. As a result, I suffered alone until I lost feeling below my waist.

I went to the emergency room and was diagnosed with Caude Equina. After surgery I felt great. But 2 weeks later I had excruciating pain again and returned to the emergency room. There they refused to give me pain medication, apparently because I was crying so much. I laid there in agony for 7 days before they realized their surgery gave me a staph infection that was in my bone, my bloodstream and inflaming my surgical wound. Yet they still decided to treat me as a drug seeker. It made NO sense. Is that just the easy solution for uninsured people? I had even begun paying them for the other surgery. But they would rather determine I'm a drug addict than look for a source of my pain (in this case it was a surgery at their hospital).

I went home and felt heartbroken and broken period. It took me 6 weeks to be able to walk after the damage the staph did. But I was determined to get better, and again, did not have a doctor.

Recently however, my back has been deteriorating. I went to get an MRI and today took it to a local surgeon who told me: "you need a spinal fusion and will have chronic pain" I figure he'll give me a short term prescription until we can schedule surgery, but he said he wouldn't. I asked him "why?" feeling the pain and anxiety rise up in me. He knows I have chronic pain and won't help me? He said "I don't even know you" and I said "but you just told me I have chronic pain?" he said "well, you need a spinal fusion" and I said "well, what am I supposed to do till then?" and then he went on to say that I was arguing with him over pain pills. NO! I am arguing with him over PAIN. And everything I say seems to trigger "drug seeker" in his eyes. I CANNOT WIN. I cannot get help. I'm so sick of it. I'm 41. Was healthy, happy, newly married. WHY won't any doctor HELP me? Why don't they care? I would rather lie in bed then be forced to explain my pain to one more doctor who doesn't give a crap.


  • i have been seeing a doctor for many years but his has retired it has taken many years of trial and error to get my painkillers at a level that keeps me just below screaming point ,BUT he is no longer there and when i first put my repeat prescription in when i went to collect it there was a yellow post note on it telling me to make an appointment for a painkiller review i was not looking forward to it but thought ..it needs to be done i was supposed to be seeing this doctor [the one that is the new boss } but i was bumped to see the locum {a stand in doctor } and i got lucky she was an anaesthetist and she was lovely and very understanding and changed my drugs upping one and leaving the other alone .everything going well so far but two weeks later [ i am on a two week scrip for one drug and a 28 day one for the other ] i put in my 2 week one giving them the required 2 days to fill it ] and to my surprise the boss doctor has only given me enough for 8 days !! mad when i have been on them for 10 years .and she want me to go to a pain clinic ,i have already been to a pain clinic and had all the various treatments and trued all the different types of drugs and because i can only take narcotics i am on a high amount ,this has never been a problem with my original doctor .but now i have to convince people that i don't know and that don't know me that i have a genuine requirement for my pain killers .she is only sending me there because she can't make a decision she relied on the original doctor for everything its madness .she has plenty of evidence from my consultant and my consultant has agreed to be my advocate to prove that i am not a drug seeker [not saying that you are !! ][ but i have had that line thrown at me a few time from certain doctors and pain clinics .one pain clinic doctor was so rude that after he had finished telling me i was just no better than a street junkie !! i collapsed 2 days later and needed emergency spinal surgery HE HAS BEEN STRUCK OFF partly because i took him to a tribunal as did many IT TURNED OUT he HAD A DRUG PROBLEM .IT GOES TO SHOW YOU NEVER KNOW who you are dealing with ,going out for me is hard work even going to the doctors but putting me through unnecessary trauma at a pain clinic just get to get the drugs i so rightly need is cruel so just as i thought i had my drugs under control and i was happy with the situation ,i have now got to have regular scripts just because this doctor can't make a decision ..sending me to the pain clinic is just a waste of money as they have already told me that there is nothing left for me i am not a suitable candidate for a SCS and there are certain drugs that i can't take i am not alone with this doctor there are many who are unhappy with her bad decisions even her staff are very unhappy one told me today that they are going to find another doctor and there will be many more . to be told you're a drug seeker when you are in genuine pain and feeling very unwell and have go to grovel for your painkillers is an insult ,they should live our lives for a week and see just how it is ,i hope things sort themselves out for both of us !![i wouldn't mind i am due for major surgery soon !!} life and some people can be very stupid .people that should know better ,to me in my case its pure nastiness
  • I don't even know where to turn now. I have so much trauma from the hospital and so many rude doctors. How can I find one who cares about me? I feel like giving up completely. And I won't grovel - but it appears like I'm groveling. I can't go through it again - I have PROOF! I have an MRI proving my pain and still they won't help? I can't take it. Haven't stopped crying since 1:30.
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  • sandisandi Posts: 6,269
    edited 10/16/2014 - 3:02 AM
    there are many ways of treating pain and many medication types used to treat it.. Opiates are not the only means of treating pain. Perhaps part of the issue is that you are expecting to be treated for pain in the emergency room, where at best, they are going to give you something of an anti inflammtory medication and send you on your way.
    If the surgeon told you that you need a second surgery, then you need to be aware that most surgeons are not going to provide pain medications to a patient that they don't know, or to someone who is new to them. Even when someone has surgery, the surgeon is only going to take care of the immediate post op pain medications, usually a month or so, depending on the type of surgery the patient has had........then they are going to be referred to pain management. The large majority of surgeons will not write pain medications for patients who come to them for a consult.
    Perhaps, try being a bit less emotional and volitile and be willing to try other methods to manage the pain, instead of expecting that the doctors are going to write you prescriptions for opiates and be willing to give other treatments a fair try.
    I have had CES twice so far, and while it is painful, once the surgery is done and healed the
    body and nerves need time to heal and recover, so perhaps some neuropathic pain medications might be more helpful than opiates for that.
    As for the infection, the best treatment opition is antibiotics, to get rid of the infection, but I'm sure that they gave you those in the hospital. All that doctors have to do in regard to complaints of pain is make a reasonable attempt at relieving it........they aren't obligated to give you pain medications. Getting angry because the doctor won't give you pain medications or cursing them out over the phone is going to bite you when it comes to others seeing your medical records. Arguing with the surgeon about wanting pain medications is going to paint a big old red flag on you.....being emotional or hostile is going to paint another big red flag.
    Your best option if you are going to be needing longer term management is to consult with a pain management practice, and do all of the recommended treatments and therapies to ease the pain.....
  • wind up telling you that they are concerned by your behavior and drug seeking.....the histrionics aren't helpful to you at all.......in fact, that type of behavior is drug seeking......attention seeking....you are going into doctors offices expecting /demanding that they give you something for "pain" , and getting angry and upset when they don't comply.

    Why didn't you return to the surgeon when you weren't feeling well for follow up instead of laying in bed, allowing the infection to brew for two weeks? The ER is not a diagnostic center, and post op increased pain should have had you returning to the surgeon before going to the ER. They aren't equipped in most situations to run diagnostic testing or imaging necessary unless they are a major trauma center these days due to budgets etc.....
    You also stated that the MRI proves you have pain- No, it doesn't. All it shows is that there is an area of your spine that requires surgery. It doesn't prove or disprove pain. Some people will have pain with a spine condition, others don't......so all the MRI proves is that there is something wrong that needs to be fixed in your case. Your body proves you have pain, your blood pressure goes up, your heart rate, your eyes show it, your facial expression shows it, the way you move shows it....
    You keep stating that the doctors don't care about you because they aren't giving you what you want from them and that is pain medication.......that's not the way it works......It not about having insurance or not, it is about treating a patient in the best way that each doctor determines is best for the patient at the time they see them. When someone is setting off red flags all over the place, and asking for pain medications, they can easily be construed as drug seeking......
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  • I know it can be frustrating, hang in there. It may be wise to gather any letters and prove to the new doctor you are just trying to live. Some people do take pain killers as a way of escapeing life, some take them to live life. Try to understand from a doctors point, i am sure lots of people try to get pain meds from them, to abuse them, maybe not you, but others, so they have to exercise caution. Perhaps if you proved to the doctor he/ she may relent. Also it may be a good idea to try other methods of pain control, even if you go again to the pain managment clinic. I do hope you can get some relief soon, and everything works out for you. I do agree that getting up set with the doctor wont make things better, but dealing with chronic undiagnosed pain doesnt make for a happy life either. Chin up and hang in there, tough times dont last, tough people do!
  • No offense,but people are people and people are who they are. I have chronic back pain and had finally for the past 6 months reached a narcotic and other med balance that I can half-way function through. When I went in for my the second visit of my drug consult per the new cruel laws or whatever I cried and I cry everyday. She totally took away all pain meds and I cant function and have many unpleasant thoughts going through my head right now. Those meds gave me somewhat of a life and now I cant stand, walk, do chores or even have the will to shower. I stopped my exercises because I cant handle it and I was treated like a junkie too. They even took away my daughters pain meds and she has severe POTS syndrome and now is afraid to eat or get out of bed because she has nothing to treat the possible increased pain of these things and yes, she has chronic pain dt the POTS all the time. I am with you on the suffering and no doctor willing to help now. I have been on narcotics for 13 years and now they just take them away with the blink of an eye. The funny thing is my new doc (since FNP can no longer prescribe for chronic pain) promised me she wouldn't leave me hanging in one appointment then takes my life away with the next. And I cried right there. I couldn't help it. Couldn't control it so if crying is a red flag to them then they need to rethink things. When you hurt so badly that you cant move you better believe that person is going to cry. I never thought that I would ever be in this situation again and its worse that its ever been. Its ironic that this new law of theirs is determined to decrease the deaths from narcotics when they better be prepared for a lot more for making people suffer. Oh yeah, and my new doc told me she understood because her father suffers from the same thing. Bet she isn't making him go without and don't say they aren't allowed to treat family because, yes, they do anyway. I was a nurse before my injury and I know this for a fact. Try to hang in there everyone. And 2young4this, I cry several times everyday now. Don't feel bad about it. For now its all we can do and you aren't alone.
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