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After back Surgery crying/feeling helpless

sdeneufssdeneuf Posts: 3
edited 09/06/2015 - 10:09 PM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
I just had surgery to remove a large cyst at my facet joint (s1-L5) It hasn't even been a week, but I am crying alot, giving my husband a very hard time because he isn't doing alot around the house that needs to be done. His excuse was he is very stressed. I am not allowed to do much of anything for 4 to six weeks and am feeling very helpless and depressed. Is this normal?


  • LizLiz Posts: 9,745
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    Veritas-Health Forum Moderator

    Spinal stenosis since 1995
    Lumber decompression surgery S1 L5-L3[1996]
    Cervical stenosis, so far avoided surgery
  • It's very difficult to sit back and rely on others to do what you would normally do yourself. Add that to the pain from your surgery, the meds you are probably taking and the restrictions you are under and it's a recipe for depression type feelings.

    I have been through several major surgeries and have had to relinquish many of my responsibilities to my husband whether I want to or not. It's frustrating because he doesn't clean and tidy the way I do and has a tendency to leave things laying around. I never realised how bad it was until I stopped cleaning up after him. The difference - he does a "boy "clean and doesn't worry about whether or not the house is a little messy. I, on the other hand, am a neat freak and hate it when things are not cleaned the way I want them. It's been a hard road but I have had to accept that, on the days that I can't do it, I need to accept the way he does things.

    With any luck your situation will be a temporary one and, once you are healed, you will be able to take back the reigns. Until then, just accept it as one of the things that are not worth stressing about. Concentrate on getting better and don't be tempted to take the chores back on until you are well enough to do so.
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  • My wife and I just prayed for you and your husband. We will continue to do so.

    I just had a 2nd l5-s1 fusion and it is also a little hard on her, but she is doing a good job taking care of me and doing things around the house.

    Hang in there, things will get better. Have a sincere talk with him that you need his help and support during this time. Also be easy on him as this can be just as hard on the spouse. :-)
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