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Did something I probably shouldn't have

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,606
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:19 AM in Matters of the Heart
And e-mailed the ex about $20 he had lent me and paying him back...Very brief, but this whole things is killing me...My heart hurts so bad and I can't stop crying...Sure, I have my good days, but I've never felt like this before.

Probably won't e-mail back and set myself up for nothing, but I miss him so much. And no, I didn't put that or anything emotional in the e-mail. This whole thing is so dumb and I probably shouldn't have done it, but it was the only thing or way that I could reach out to him without throwing all of my emotions in it...

Nothing will probably come of it, but I did it anyways...Shouldn't have listened to my heart since it gets me in these messes, but I did it anyways...He probably won't even respond anyways...Which will hurt too, either way I'm screwed!

Doesn't matter, either way I'm crying.
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1

Comments

  • I feel better having sent the e-mail, even though it was just an attempt to get him talking...
  • I know it hurts. Been there, done that. But IMHO any guy who would do this to you doesn't deserve you. No matter what his issues are, unless he's been in a coma the past few weeks. If he did this to you at this stage of your relationship I can only imagine what else he might do later, when it would hurt you even more. I'm gonna sound like a parent and say "one of these days, when you've found the one who loves and cares for you in the right ways, you will realize what a favor this guy did you by dropping out of your life."
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  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 10,760
    Nancy, sometimes there is not always rhyme nor reason to what makes you do something. Knowing how this situation with your Ex has been eating at you, its not a real surprise you sent the email that you did. Not even to get a response (which wouldn't hurt) but to make you feel just a little bit better.

    Now isn't that worth it? Now if we could only find a way to dry up those tears
    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I really thought/think he was/is the one...I'd never been like that with anyone in my life...Does that make what he did right? No, not by a long shot, however, I can empathize with him and what he did as I do it myself from time to time, although I wouldn't have shut him out...I know what it's like to have a crazy messed up family, I get it and I know what that can do to a person...We just felt right.

    Everyone gets scared and screws up...He treated me like gold up until he disappeared and he has a huge part of my heart...I don't know anymore, I know I feel better having sent it even though it didn't contain much...I don't know, I just had to do it and managed to find something small to do it with, rather than my feelings...

    Maybe you're right Ranch, I just miss him like crazy...Maybe I'm a fool, but I have a feeling he misses me too.
  • Hey, I wasn't implying you're a fool by any means and I hope you didn't take it that way. I would have done the same thing you did. Really. I hope you get a response outa him and tell us what his trip is! Do you have ANY idea?
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  • But there just aren't any. Just over a week ago - at the end of the week where my contract with work was official terminated and then my car was taken away, my boyfriend ended our relationship. It was completely unexpected and he gave no explanation apart from that he doesn't love me anymore. We met on saturday to try and talk but he's sticking to his decision and actually told me that he hadn't even missed me at all during the previous week when we'd had no contact. Ouch! It hurts like crazy. Only 3 or 4 weeks ago he was talking about wanting us to have babies and asking if I'd want to marry him once I've divorced. It's made worse by the fact that my husband did this to me 3 years after we got married - he just sent me a text message and by the time I got back home he was gone. It took me almost 2 years to trust anyone enough to even get into a relationship again and now he's done this to me.

    Like you I feel like I want to email and text all the time just to try and keep the channels of communication open, but it's pointless and I realise that. It's difficult, my heart is broken too and now I'm facing having to go through more surgery alone. But we have to be strong. Allow yourself to grieve but try to allow you to just let go and move on. Like I said, it took me 2 years to do that last time and who knows how long this time, but we are made of tough stuff and we will get through it.

    Sending you some big hugs, Spicey
  • I'm so sorry sweetie! Sending you tons of love and big hugs, you've always been there for me and you're so sweet! You don't deserve that...

    My previous ex broke up with me via text message, telling me he was in another relationship!! Then when I got really angry and called him out for acting like that, he ripped me to shreds! He told me that he never said we were together! I must have misinterpreted it when he told me he needed me! We'd been together for a year and a few months off and on. He's a gigantic jerkwad and is ACTUALLY MARRIED NOW to the girl...We broke up less than a year ago.

    If you need ANYTHING, I'm here for you hon!
  • Is that it had nothing to do with us and our relationship, or his feelings for me...Something happened with his family over Memorial Day weekend that really upset him and threw him. he doesn't really like his family that much, he loves his brother and sister but hates his sister-in-law...I also know that he misses his friends a lot and seeing them was hard on him...Other than that, I don't know, I just know that it had nothing to do with "us" or me...

    And I'm just guessing about the family thing, it's the only thing that makes any sense and I knew something was wrong after that weekend. My heart just can't seem to give up on him, although I wish it would at times...

    Don't worry, I didn't take it that way at all :) ...I know better than that!! ;) I do feel like a fool for caring so much, apparently I fell really hard. But so did he, supposedly, at least according to Kim. He basically told her he wanted to marry me (this was before him crawling in his hole)...I know he cared a very great deal for me, this whole thing just seems like a dumb reason to stay apart...And I also know that his feelings for me freaked him out, he'd been alone for over 3 years. I know I made him happy just like he made me happy, and I feel like he still cares. I don't think feelings like ours just disappear overnight or over these past few weeks. For Pete's sake, we'd even discussed me moving over there! With his prompting of course.
  • What else can I say?

    My last boyfriend lived with me and so did his daughter. We'd been together 4 years, and one day he surprised me and told me he was moving out and had already arranged for his daughter to go live with her mom out-of-state. Shortly before that he'd said we'd always be together. Yeah, right. He seriously broke my heart. That stuff is so hard to get through. There's nothing anyone can say, nothing you can do, to make it feel better. Only time. I tell you, I swore off men after that. Exactly a year later I asked my now husband out and we had known each other as friends for 3 years. Well, he was a fast mover and before long he was talking about getting married and I was scared to death! We've been together 9 1/2 years now and he's been good to me but sometimes my mind wonders when the other shoe's gonna drop.
  • sorry for the men acting like ..well ..any way, My ex Gal of five years told me she was pregnant,and i better go coz her boyf was coming over..go figure i "ran" into him out side uuhh accidently, kinda put the fear of Ranch into him when he bowed up to me and i just kinda gently moved him back a few steps..ooops. nice way ta find out your other half has been cheatin hmm?
    Btw,she was untouched by me up until she got preggers,go figure,I dont believe in sex before marriage,so she swam downstream to spawn,there is a kind of justice though,she will never look me eye to eye,the shame of her actions needle her,
    so hope fully the fools who would throw away a good womans love will feel remorse when you have found the love these heartbreaks were leading to, you know a love and loss is just a practice for when ya find the real forever thing, no?
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod
    erator

    Welcome to Spine-Health

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