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What can I do differently?

Hi friends. I had unexpected ACDF C3-C6 late June 2015. Made steady progression until recently. I feel a lot of head/neck soreness upon awakening, nausea and what feels like a dull stomach ache or pressure on diaphragm and metallic feeling that seems to radiate from neck where titanium plates are.  I'm fatigued & when I go out always think "I can't wait to lay down!" I just feel crappy, confused, depressed. Family has been pressuring me to start exercising again because I stopped after about 4 mos of physical therapy. Not sure if I'm lazy or sick--or both.  Going to try to get myself back to the physical therapy gym next week--made appointment for assessment.  I also lost two sisters just before my surgery, so lots of grief but dragged myself to grief support group.  I have a lot of messy paperwork to sort thru & clean up that I let go of for a few years. I just feel very tired. On a positive note: Went back to doing a few hours of volunteer counseling at church & on Weight Watchers to lose 30 lbs gained  (lost 12 so far!) thru this whole ordeal of surgery, steroids, inactivity, depression....Any insight?  How can I motivate myself when feeling crappy?
Psalm 91
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Comments

  • hi there!
    with all of the things you explained that you're going through, it's no wonder you are exhausted, and your ability to motivate yourself is low. 
    perhaps one of the first things you need to think about is being a little bit more gentle with yourself!!  oh my goodness--losing two sisters in addition to an unexpected surgery?  that is a lot!! 
    you've come to the right place.  there are many members here who also have complex life situations going on in addition to their chronic pain issues.  please do not take it as an insult if it takes a bit for people to respond to your posts.  it may take time for members with similar situations to yours to see your post, and subsequently respond to it.
    congratulations on the weight loss!! just when you say you have no motivation--that didn't happen on its own!!  it's going to be so beneficial when you get back into the physical therapy, too. 
    in the meantime, here's a helpful link for you!
    welcome to spine-health

    take care, and welcome!!
    Kimmy72, Spine-health Moderator
    Firm believer in PMA!
  • itsautonomicitsautonomic LouisianaPosts: 2,561
    All I can say is the old " light at the end of the tunnel" saying.  That is how I used to do it, everything was for the future.  When you get a taste of feeling better it in itself is motivation and you will not have to force anything.  But it's doing it when you are not getting any noticeable change that is hard.  Not great advice but all I've got right now.  And like kimmy72 said that is so much on your plate, the greieving you have had to do for your family and the you before surgury has to be rough. For some they get hit with so much at one time, just leaves you in shock.  
    Do your due dilegence, trust you know your body and question everything if it does not fit. Advocate for yourself and you will be suprised what will be revealed trusting your body and instinct.
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