The nightmare of feeling hopeless and alone continues. Last week was one for the books. It was hell. Pain levels 8-10 for 7 days. Needless to say, I am exhausted, frustrated and unhappy with the way things are at the moment. Not trying to complain, just want to share my experience.
After day 3 I had had it. I called the nurse line at the PM Center and left a message with them last Thursday morning. I was not called back until Friday night right before they closed. I told the nurse of my situation, she replied, "Have you been working on your PM exercises (Breathing, Meditation, Trigger Point release)?" I replied, "Yes". She asked, "Have you been doing cold and hot compression?" I replied, "Yes". She replied, "Have you been taking your medications as directed?" I replied, "Of course." She replied, "You know, it takes time for these practices to work on your pain". And that was all she said. I was shocked. No extra tips were given, no schedule to come in and the see doctor so he could assess my pain while it was happening.
All I could do was, cry... but what I really wanted to do at that point was scream at her, telling her this isn't my first rodeo. I've been working on these exercises for 2 years now with no results, and my PAIN IS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AND WORSE. Sorry for being dramatic, but I have to explain to you...I'm not a very dramatic person. As I have said before in past posts, this pain is changing me. I know it'll make me stronger in the long run, but holy holy holy...How much longer will I have to suffer to become the superwoman?
The tears came as a flood. I felt let down. I thought the PM Center was supposed to help me manage my pain? I can't live my life on the couch any longer. I am missing out on so much life that there is to live. Not to mention that inability to work while experiencing those pain levels creates such a stress, that adds to the pain. I don't want to go on disability... I am too (bleeping) young for that (almost 30).
For those of you who do not know me yet, I am a 29 year old CP victim. I have been in CP for 4 years, the pain introducing itself to me when I was 16. I have tried going to space and beyond trying to fix this issue. I have been to at least 15 doctors. I've tried to relieve the pain with: Cold and Heat, Massage Therapy, Cupping, Trigger Point Injections, Trigger Point Release, Exercise, Dieting, Pill Therapy (Gabapentin, Tramadol, Venlafaxine (Effexor), and Ibuprofen, Dry Needling, Meditation... and I think that's it.
Any suggestions for me as to what else I can try?
So, after experiencing the weekend events and not feeling like I have anyone to help me... I am thinking of dumping my doctors and finding new doctors to help me manage my pain in a better direction. Anyone who would like to share their experience with this process, I would be very happy to listen to, and take any suggestions into account as I undergo this frightening adventure.
As always - much love and thoughts going out to all,