I'm Nicole. Just turned 50yr in Sacramento CA. I have a 29yr daughter who has a 3yr grandson (Jordan, he's the one in my avatar with his dog Lucky) I had a work related injury 7/02 where my desk was not ergonomically correct. After a mis-diagnosis of fibromyalgia I finally had a discogram/ CT/MRI which showed tearing and protrusion of C3-C4, C4-C5, C5-C6, upper extremity parenthesis, migraines, CRSP. At age 38yrs I was told I could never work again. I was medically retired from the state of California. I had just finished paralegal school was preparing to enter law school.
Having to "fight" work comp, disability put me into a deep depression/suicidal thoughts. After a 3 year fight with an attorney I was granted SSDI by a judge who told work comp that I should never have had to fight this long to "prove" myself. So where did that leave me? Depressed, broke (had to live off savings for years, had to file bankruptcy, my credit score before work comp/iinjury was in the 800's)
I've taken all kinds of meds, norco, Vicodin, fentanyl patches, flexeril, hdryocodone, 3 series of injections into my neck, PT, Chiropractor. 3 separate Neurosurgoens told me I was NOT a candidatefor surgery. My Dr asked me to try (with the approval of the pain Dr) Methadone. This only takes the edge off but it worked well enough to get my life back.
My insurance changed (lovely Medicare
as my primary then a PPO for the secondary this is part of my retirement package) so I was forced to find another Dr to Rx my methadone. I found one, she was an FP (family practice Dr, not a pain management) this was 6 yrs ago. At this time I was on 80mgs of Methadone. Pain management has told me to keep seeing my primary due to they can't make any $$$ off my insurance with more testing and or surgery since I've tried everything they've asked me to do (just my opinion as I had worked in the medical field)
So as time has passed I have lost weight, go to the gym 4-5 times per week am active with my 3yr grandson, socializing again, just having a life. Plus on my own I weaned myself down from 80mgs to 20mgs per day of Methadone (again this only takes the edge off my pain, we chronic pain-ers know we will never be pain free) So at my last Dr appointment my Dr tells me she is no longer rx'ing my Methadone due to the crack down from the DEA. I have been a compliant patient, random urine tests, signed pain contract, pill counts, weaned myself down. GREAT!!! Now what?
She wants me to try suboxone. I have read up on this med, here and on their website. I feel as if I'm starting all over again, having to "prove" I have chronic pain. I'm afraid I will end up right back to the depression/suicidal thoughts. Having no life. My Dr filled my Rx for this month only. So I told her to go ahead and send in the referral to see pain management about suboxone.
I'm in pain and I'm scared.