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don't know what to do

Hello everyone I don't even know where to start lol. I guess I will start saying I have been dealing with back pain since I was 17, when I had my first surgery. I am not 27 and have had 5 surgeries all on L5 S1 one was a laser surgery in Texas the first 3 were not fusions because of my age 4th was the laser one and 5th they fused it that was 4 years ago. I now take 4 oxycodone 3p mg pills a day with little to no relief. I need to know what I can do to get out of pain the pills use to work bit I have built a tolerance and they do nothing now not to mention I had a wreck 10 days ago and since then I am miserable can not sleep it is 4 am and I am laying here trying to get some help. I went to the ER after the wreck they did a mri on my tharasic and lumbar they told me that it showed I had many bulging disc from my tharasic into my lumbar but none bad enough for surgery Idk how to deal with it anymore the not sleeping and pain is making me so depressed and so hurt Idk what to do. I am being mean to everyone I love my gf has not spoke to me in days I am being an ass to my parents and just don't know what to do each time i sereally a Dr they think I just want more pills and that is not the case I just would like to stop hurting! I honestly hope someone here can help me since I had that wreck I have been absolutely miserable and am starting to wonder why I am even here anymore and wish God would take me away please any of your help would be much appreciated I am not saying I want tone kill myself but I do wish I could get some Dr to help me out. Thank you all very much and hope your all are having a great day/night!!

Thanks, Mike


  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,385
    edited 03/12/2017 - 7:17 PM
    Hello mstovall65 !
    Wow! You really are enduring quite a bit right now!
    Im curious, before your car wreck, were your meds becoming ineffective?

    My pain management doctor told me from the onset that he would be switching my daily meds every year to year and half, so I don't build tolerance and hoping they remain effective longer period of time.
    Im on fentanyl patch then alternate to OxyContin. My breakthrough meds stay the same.

    It isn't easy to be in such severe pain and smile all the time. And sometimes the more people in your life, it can make it more difficult.
    My unmanaged pain was crazy making. I wanted to pull my hair out! And I withdrew from others, as I was so irritated by them.
    They meant well enough, but I felt like I was using all my energy to just sit up, stand, whatever.
    I didn't have energy left to even look at them let alone engage in whatever topic was going on.

    I recognized it as depression in myself, and anxiety. I too began to have dark thoughts and I referred myself to psychiatrist.
    I did some talk therapy, which was helpful. Then I found therapist specialized in chronic pain and depression and anxiety.
    Those sessions were much more intense, in a good way! And she gave me so much more feedback!

    I could feel the coping "tools" becoming more and more effective for me.  When the therapist and I decided I was correcting my thoughts..and my behaviors much more automatically, I stopped going.
    But if ever those dark times were to hit again, I wouldn't hesitate to resume therapy!

    I chose to continue to see my psychiatrist for medication management. My mind, my thinking, my coping has never been better.
    I don't want to rock the boat.
    Also, some antidepressants are effective for pain, also.

    Before I started therapy, I would call the hotline number. I would call day or night, often times more than once a day.
    Sometimes I'd dump my thoughts out and see what they would do with them.
    Sometimes I'd listen to them talk and not sure I believed a word they said, but I  listened.
    Just the very act of calling gave me pause.   

    You are are not alone in your feelings! You are not alone in your pain. And you are not alone in your feelings about your pain!
    And many of us know the difficulty of pain and feeling vulnerable and yet having to continue to advocate for yourself!
    Please tell doctor all you symptoms, including your thoughts and your anger.
    They are symptoms that can be treated.

    And maybe you might want to consider another opinion for better pain management. 
    Come back here on site and vent if you want to....let us know how you're doing...what doctors have to say.....
    Youve truly found a place where...We get it!

    Please click on link for helpful information!
    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

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