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Just found out I need surgery

i have had back problems since I was 17 and am now 41z my latest MRI came back way worse. L3 L4 L5 S1 herniated disks. My dr reccomends surgery since I have done everything else. My friends and family are getting tired of me talking about it I can tell! I'm getting depressed. I can't go to the gym and I'm gaining weight. I keep missing work and my boyfriend is frustrated with me . I don't know what else to do. Just came here looking for some sort of support and someone to talk to.
Thank you,


  • Hi Jen,

        I know a lot of people here can relate to you. Back pain is debilitating and seems to ruin your way of life. Surgery can do the same also but it can also be a blessing. I recently had a L4/L5 laminectomy in Jan of this year and I am having the same surgery tomorrow because the first time was a failure. I've gained weight too since exercising is nearly impossible. And those that haven't experienced it try to be helpful but I know they get tired of hearing about it. Please talk away to me because it does help to have someone relate!!!!! Praying for you. 

    Take care,
  • chonnacchonna JoplinPosts: 24
    Back pain has your undivided attention from the moment you wake up in the morning til you finally drift off at night.  It's hard for friends and family to imagine what your life is like, no matter how much they love and care about you.  Your Dr is telling you the next step is surgery so find the very best surgeon, and if you don't like him or her, find another.   Search until you are confident then go for it.  I had a 10 hour fusion Nov 2 and the recovery was a real challenge for a couple of months, but I'm so much better now.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  Back surgery is scary, but you can do this.   Keep us updated with your decisions.  We can help you through this.
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  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,385
    edited 03/14/2017 - 1:14 PM
    Hello jennymac !
    Chronic pain can be quite disrupted to family members and friends.
    It seems with your need to have surgery, it would be more obvious to your loved ones.
    Using search, upper right on page, may lead you to other discussions of relationship difficulties and how some have coped.

    I have found the reading****Spoon Therapy**** very helpful in relating to those loved ones who are trying to understand the new me.
    You can find by using search.

    I also had to learn to ask for what I needed ....after I learned, what do I need?
    Sometimes I just want someone to talk to me about their day, how the kids are doing, are the flowers in bloom....?
    I feel more connected with interest in others.

    Depression often accompanies chronic pain, but is a symptom that can be treated. Please include this with your other symptoms to your doctor.

    I wish you the best with your upcoming surgery and to have a smooth recovery!
    You may be interested in reading****Post op Must Haves**** and ****Recovery the Most Important Phase****
    We also have**Surgery Buddies*** with month and year in title.
    Many find support and encouragement from others in similar situation at about same time.

    Please click on link for helpful information!

    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

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