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So tired of dealing with this alone

Hello everyone,

I'm new to actually registering with this site, but I've been sent to it many times when I do google searches.  I'm not too sure what to say in my introduction.  I don't know if I'm supposed to do a rundown of my history, or the final straw that made me want to register.  I've had multiple treatments done over the years.  I'm not getting any younger and I feel like that makes me feel worse mentally and emotionally.  I'm 33 and I got hurt at 18, but it's never been established that my original injury was the cause of the issues I've had.  So if I'm supposed to go through my life story here, please let me know!  I don't know how personal I'm supposed to get or not.  Just to do some basics, I'm a married, 33 year old female with two boys, who will be 10 and 8 this year.  I live in New Jersey.  I'm not currently employed, but when I did work years ago, I was a pharmacy technician.  My years of medical visits have included multiple times of physical therapy, left shoulder surgery in 2010, trigger point injections multiple times over many different areas of my neck and back over the past few years, steroid injections in my neck in 2016 and 2017, epidural injections once around May 2014, facet injections in cervical spine around late 2015, Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion at C4-5 October 2014.  I've been going to physical medicine and rehab (a part of pain management) for easily at least 5 years.  I started on opiate pain medication.  I was up to percocet 10s four times a day when my tolerance was too high and I wasn't seeing relief, so they told me to see pain management and also the surgeon.  Surgeon said I was a candidate for surgery, but I tried the epidural first.  I felt relief for about 3 days from the epidural, which didn't seem worth it to me.  That's when I decided for the surgery.  My not serious, very "routine" surgery was supposed to take 1.5 hours.  During surgery, he found a bone spur that he said hadn't shown on any of the films he had seen.  He said it had "started to take root."  While he was removing it, I started to leak cerebral spinal fluid.  My easy 1.5 hour surgery turned into 4.5 hours.  I was also supposed to be able to go home same day, but that incident required me to stay overnight.  During the recovery in hospital, they noticed my left eye not responding right.  A few days later, my doctor told me I had Horner's syndrome in my left eye, a "rare complication."  It's been 2.5 years since my surgery, I want to cry every time I look in the mirror because of my eye.  This doesn't include years of medications, ones that helped, some that didn't, and trying to find others that could help.  Anyway, sorry, I'm getting off track.  Hopefully I did this right.  There is more, but I think this was more than I was supposed to do for the introduction. 


  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 7,385
    edited 05/11/2017 - 12:08 PM
    welcome superheromom2boysnj !

    wow! you certainly have been through it!
    and i can imagine your more than disappointment with your eye becoming affected post op.

    you may have said and i missed it, but wondering if the surgery helped you with your pain and other symptoms?
    ..as you mentioned trying  to find medications that help.... i am not sure if that means ..presently..
    are you still working with pain management doctor?

    and you mention being so alone in all this.
    do you have any kind of support people in your life? any kind of help with your two boys so you are able to rest?
    or do you feel more emotionally alone?....maybe misunderstood by others?

    while you are waiting for responses from members with shared experiences, the search may be useful to you.
    for any of your concerns, you may be led to current or older discussions.
    there are several discussions re feeling alone in our issues and pain. also, discussions re how it effects our relationships.

    you may be led to medical side.
    the main site has all the formal articles and videos for you to research on, also.

    please click on links for helpful information!
    Honorary Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

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