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My friend was just diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, what can I do to help?

Today my friend was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, to me it's a relief to know why she has been in so much pain for no reason. but at the same time I realize that this pain will not subside and knowing that she will suffer through the random pains for the rest of her life takes a toll on me. I hate what she's been going through. but back to the question, what, if any, things are there that I can do to help her.



  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 13,581

    Every person is different, so you she will need to find a course of action from her doctor.

    As far as what you can do?  Be there for her and try to be understanding.  Someone just being diagnosed with a new problem will have the ups/downs , mood swings, etc.   Many times its harder to stand by and see what is going on.

    Being a good friend, is the best you can be at this point. 

    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences 
  • itsautonomicitsautonomic LouisianaPosts: 2,561

    I will just echo Dilauro on this, You cannot understand what just listening can do for someone.  I will caution its very hard not to give advice and mean well , but it can come off wrong to someone suffering.  If your friend sees you wanting to understand and learn ( from them and other sources) the effect it has on their life and the problems they deal with it will mean so much to them.  Often things like fibromyalgia do not get the same compassion something more well known and established in the medical and world community receives.  This is the first , big step for you and your friend because a good , understanding friend is hard to come by the longer you suffer chronic issues.

    Do your due dilegence, trust you know your body and question everything if it does not fit. Advocate for yourself and you will be suprised what will be revealed trusting your body and instinct.
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  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 6,471

    hi adewey!

    welcome to spine-health

    from someone who has had fibro for over 20 yrs., i wish i would have had a friend like you. thank god i have had my husband who is so understanding. but sometimes i wished i just had someone to talk to, cry with and to understand that i will have good and bad days. just because i felt good yesterday doesn't mean i will feel good today.
    my advice to you first of all would be research as much as you can so you will understand more. depression comes along with it so maybe you will be able to help her with that. if not suggest a psychologist.
    there are so many side effects to fibro and it will take a while to sort all of that out.
    mostly, just be there for her, be patient and understanding.
    i could go on and on about it so just let me know if you would like to hear more.

    please click on the welcome link below as well as the system tutorial for more information.

    welcome to spine health

    all new members should take the system tutorial 

    if you don't mind me asking, how old is she and how long have you been friends.
    thank you for being there for her.


    Veritas-Health Forum Moderator
    Please read my  Medical History
  • nutcase007nnutcase007 United StatesPosts: 941

    Totally agree with Itsautonomic and Dilauro.  On of the best things you can do is continue to be a friend.  Many people with chronic pain that post om this site know the additional pain of people that we thought were friends just "kind of drift away".  Please resist any urge to offer solutions.  As again mentioned earlier, one of the best things you can be is a listening friend when she wants to talk.    

  • I just rejoined this site, and saw you post of last summer. I'm wondering just how your friend is coping with her FM, and how are YOU doing as her faithful friend. As memerainbolt said, I, too, am blessed in having a most understanding husband. While he doesn't quite understand the condition, and many cannot, he does understand most of my needs, especially that of rest. That said, I do wish I had a girlfriend to just sit and talk with at times. It's just somehow different. I am 81, and all of my local friends have either died or moved away. The nerve of them! I do miss that, and your friend is so fortunate in having you to talk with. I believe the best thing you can do for her is to be an active listener. Sometimes that's what we need the most, and I hate to lay any more on the one with whom I live. I used to enjoy the luxury of visiting with a friend about what was bothering me, then we would get on with having some fun, if it was just being silly. I hope things are going relatively well for both you and your friend.

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